My dad died.... (page 2)

crazyblondeb

thanks for the offer to let me freak out. Cause now I am. I just talked to my daughter. She wants to go to the funeral, neither her or I can afford to. I just started a new job and don't get paid till next week. Funeral is Tues. in texas. I can't even help her go. Makes me feel an inch high.

And me, right now I'm scaring myself. I can't really explain it. But....I'm on overload. I know this will pass. But I don't want to live with this guilt.

Yes, I guess I'm at the freaking out point. Thanks for everything that has been posted!

shelley

jgnat

As the parent of a child with addictions, I can tell you right now that your dad would not want you to self-destruct over his death. Give yourself the freedom to mourn. Maybe the day of the funeral visit a local cemetary and drop off the flowers at an anonymous grave. No-one would look at you weird if the tears flow there.

Are you a member of AA? Call up your sponsor pronto. That is what I tell my son when he falls off the wagon.

AudeSapere

{{{{Shelley}}}}

I'm so sorry.

I agree with the poster who reminded you that you did attempt to make ammends. Don't hold on to that guilt. You tried to contact him to fix the hurt.

Could you ask your employer for an advance so your daughter can go to the funeral? Even though you are new, they may be able to help you with this unexpected event.

Please phone a friend and have someone near who can sit with you.

So very sorry...

-Denise.

sammielee24

Sorry Shelley.

sammieswife.

evita

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is hard enough But grief combined with guilt can be almost unbearable.
Please take care of yourself through this difficult time. We are human and we all do things we regret. You tried to make amends and your dad knew that. Try to focus on the love you had for each other.
My thoughts are with you and your daughter.
Eva

smellsgood

deepest condolences, Shelley.

That isn't right no one in your family has contacted you about something as dramatic as that. I wish you weren't in such a tough position where you can't even go to a parents funeral...

smellsgood

Arthur

Dear Shelley,

I am so sorry for this. I really feel for you. I relate to some of the things you wrote. Please continue to share your feelings and let people on this site support you. My deepest sympathies are with you.

With love,

Arthur

Dansk

((((((((((((Shelley)))))))))))))

I KNOW how you feel and my heart hurts for you!

I lost my mum and, a few months later, my dad, way back in 1978 - the year I got married. Neither was able to attend my wedding (mum was already dead and dad was dying). Neither got to see any of my four children.

I mention this because many of us here have been pained as you are pained now. The circumstances may be different, but we all felt that pain.

Please believe me when I say the pain DOES go away!

Keep strong and always feel free to say how you're feeling.

Love and hugs,

Ian

Satanus

You could explain the situation to your boss and ask for an advance. I know that is pushing it, but you never know.

S

fullofdoubtnow

((((Shelley))))

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

My dad died....

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