by BrendaCloutier 76 Replies latest jw friends
Hello Brenda
I'm sorry for your loss sweet but you also sound slightly indifferent about your dads death. A massive barrier has been between you for some time and it's natural to feel detached.
My dad died about 2 months ago but i cried not one tear......didn't know the guy. He was never interested in me....ever.
Hope all goes well for you.
Peace
Lowden
Hugs to you. Sorry isn't enough.
Brenda-
I feel your pain. My dad died 2 weeks ago. I've cried very little. It's sad that you thought he was already dead. I'm sooo sorry. But at least your dad is at peace now. I'll be thinking of you.
blessings be-shelley
Some unasked for advice: don't overdo the 'look' just to make a statement.
Auntie Jane - Not to worry, I won't do that - except for the tiny stud in the side of my nose, I'll look very "normal". I can't do that to my mom. The rest of 'em, including my siblings, I don't care about. But I respect my mom too much to embarrass her like that. I may however wear pants because I don't have any dresses that fit. But they will be attractive enough.
I wanted to add, that is a very nice picture of you Brenda standing on the coastal rocks.
Thanx anewme - that pic was taken last month at Tintagel Castle - ruins on the N coast of Cornwall, England.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and compassion. It means the world to me.
p.s. Your first sentence reminds me of the first sentence in "The Stranger" by Albert Camus.
Somehow this is fitting, as I've been The Stranger for the past 25 plus years, since I told them I wasn't interested in returning to the KH.
Also fitting because I just started laying out my first novel... and support has come out of the woodwork for it from some surprising quarters!
Someone else here said that my parents missed out on knowing me. That is sooo true, something that has really bugged me because they have no idea who I am as an adult, and they've withheld the privledge of me knowing them. Sad.
I doubt my mom would ever leave the witlesses. I will not even consider talking with her about it unless she brings it up. She's spent all of her adult life as a witness (where I've spent all of my adult life out), and I don't think she could stand the strain of loosing her religion and "faith", for what that "faith" is worth today. Last fall, the last time I saw her (I was sick all winter myself), she told me she couldn't understand how "this old system can keep going. It wasn't supposed to be this way!". I really feel for the lies she/they have surrounded themselves with.
Heck. Maybe I'll buy a dress.
I am sorry Brenda for your lose
Tintagel Castle......now THERE'S a lovely place and what a gorgeous colour the sea is. Memories.
Lowden
Brenda , i know you are sad and this post is serious ,but i can't stop laughing at myselfAnd you know why.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))
(((( KLS )))) What a silly monkey you are! When I read your PM I managed to spit club soda all over my computer screen! You made my day.
Lowden - I'll get back to Cornwall again some year, as I fell in love with it there. The evening before when we got in to Tintagel village (stayed at the Cornishman Inn), it was stormy and the island was closed due to the weather. The next day was bright and clear! The sea was just georgeous. Seems that the entire 3 week holiday went like that.
Brenda,
So sorry to hear of your loss. My heart is with you at this time. When things like this happen, I am at a loss of what to say since words are only words. Having been through all of this myself, I like to think that the pain you are going through and have gone through......the anger.......the heartbreak of things either past or present.........is what I feel and what I can understand. I can only send good thoughts your way and hope you get through this the way you get through all other negative happenings......but now knowing you have many like minded souls who invisibly hold your hand and tell you it will be ok.
HappyDad
