Semi-apologist? Is that like being semi-pregnant?
I am a "semi-apologist"!
by slimboyfat 75 Replies latest jw friends
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Alligator Wisdom
Hi again Jayhawk1, I understand why you are puzzled. You explained yourself clearly.
You wrote : But I am puzzled about one thing. You apparently practice as a JW and go to the meetings. At least that is my impression. Let's say they don't have God's approval, why read anything they publish? If they don't have God's approval, then they don't have God's backing on anything. That means God does not support the literature they produce. On more than one occasion they have published that they are God's prophet class on Earth. If they are not backed by God, and you attend meetings they provide, shouldn't that concern you?
"Let's say that they don't have God's approval". I'm sorry Jayhawk1, how can I say that when only Jehovah has the right to make the distinction. Afterall, the point highlighted is "God's Approval", right? Not mine.
"If they don't have God's approval, then they don't have God's backing on anything". Perhaps, perhaps not. That is for only Jehovah God to say what he supports or approves. Have you ever heard about hating the behavior of a person and not hating the individual themselves?
If they aren't backed by God, and you attend meeting they provide, shouldn't that concern you? Again, I am not going to say something that only Jehovah God can make the determination. But the WTS has arranged a meeting program, right? Why can't I attend without any preconceived ideas or notions? (Ezra 7:10). Does it concern me? If what they teach is Bible based, then fine. If it doesn't and I doubt, then I take it to Jehovah thru the head of the congregation, Christ Jesus.
By the way, you may wonder how I make the determination if it is Bible based. Personal Bible reading, perusing thru forums such as these and other study material (both WTS and non-WTS related), but especially asking for the helper that Jesus said he would give us (John 14:26) my means of prayer. Jehovah understands my pursuit. It give me peace when I doubt certain issues that the WTS teaches. That peace makes me secure enough that I can honestly say "who cares what the WTS teaches if it isn't from the Bible?". Jehovah will take care of everything in his time. Not mine. (I think pride and modesty or even humility is what qualities are brought to the forefront in Jehovah's eyes in my case. Hopefully he will see my sincere efforts in trying to be a follower of His Son and for me to be more Christlike.)
You got me Jaywalk1, I go to meetings. And I will go further. I go to meetings out of my sincere motives. (Look at my personal history and you'll find that I had problems with that and other issues before). I was inactive before. I did the submarine witness thing. Now, I sometimes will miss meetings according to my condition and by also taking balance into consideration. Guilt hasn't got a hold on me anymore whether to attend meetings or not.
The same applies to my public ministry. I go and do so out of my desire and sincere interest to encourage Bible reading to my neighbors. There are topics that are WTS related that I'm not convinced of and these ones are not what I preach. I preach the gospel of Christ and highlight all to gain peace, personal benefits and to draw close to God in my ministry. Do I use the publications? If it pertains to Bible taught lessons, sure! If it doesn't, than I don't. I use the Bible as the authority. Those whom I talking with will make their own determination just as much as you and I did.
What about giving talks or comments at the meetings? Comments are given with spirit and truth. I always want to upbuild and refresh from the Word of God. I try to imitiate my Lord Jesus and how he would make an expression before an audience. As for giving talks, I have the privilege (perhaps unique) that I can select the material for which I am assigned to give. It can be a part in the TMS and if I don't feel convinced, then how can I teach it? I'll ask for a different #1 instruction talk subject. However, if I feel that the material is Bible supported, then I give it with Holy Spirit as my helper and will relate such in an encouraging way so that the congregation will see that Jehovah is God using Christ as King to lead us to perfect peace. Public talks as well, I select from an array of outlines that are scheduled to be given. Often I'll pick the ones that deal with family life, making decisions, evidence of God in the world or coping with life's anxieties. I can really take these and let Jehovah lead me to teach the audience. If it has to do with doctrine I'm not convinced of, then I'll skip it in the outline. But if the outline is based on something that I'm not convinced, then I just will decline the material altogether.
You may wonder, what do the elders/CO think about my selectivity? They know and understand. Afterall, they wanted me to be an elder and I declined twice in two different congregations. I assume they will do so again in the winter months when the CO makes his rounds once more. These brothers see my true motive in my service to Jehovah and are very supportive. Maybe Jehovah's spirit is upon them as individuals so that they understand outside of the WTS box and see my pursuit, who knows? I try to find balance and joy in my service to Jehovah. That is what he wants to see from all of us, right? (Philippians 4:4). Too many are downtrodden by the regulations of the WTS. Since I deviate from such man-made teachings and focus on the joy and benefit of service to God Jehovah while following his appointed Leader Christ Jesus, maybe that is why the body of elders and CO are very keen on me. Maybe they are envying? I can't say. The congregation finds my approach a bit different, but not offensive nor defensive. I want to be approachable like Christ and to point out that his way leads to the Father. I also feel that Jehovah God can use me and has been using me in such a way to help all those who, regardless if they are in contact with the WTS or not, to see that serving Jehovah God should be done with a pure and unadulterated motive. It makes the load really light (Matthew 11:28,29). The recommendation for me to be an elder isn't for the elders in my congregation to decide, nor is it for the GB of the WTS corporation to decide at the branch office in NY. It is by appointment through the Holy Spirit. If Jehovah wants to recommend and sees me as being ready, then I'll know it and the way for me to be one in this congregation or any other will be obviously at the right time.
Through all this experience I have learned never to under-estimate the power of the Holy Spirit and prayer. This is my personal testimony.
I totally high-jacked this thread. Thanks mods for allowing such and I'll try to refrain from doing so again. SlimBoyFat, as the main topic poster, pardon my intrusion.
You got a lot out of me on this Jayhawk1. I hope that your endeavors are leading you to the joy and happiness that you deserve as Jehovah's creation whom he loves.
Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously by WTS standards)
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jwfacts
I still go because there are nice people at the meetings. Because I don't want to rock the boat with certain family members. Ditto my wife and her relations.
I did that for 10 years, until it just about drove me insane. It was such a relief to finally give in to my fears and leave.
I have watched your posts over the last year and your viewpoints have changed quite dramatically SBFat, so I admire your stand. Where you want to be will continue to change. Hopefully the WTS will ease up under the pressure and make it easier for you and your family to move on in time.
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jayhawk1
Alligator,
I will have to read your last post again before I comment further, that is if I feel the need to do so. You've given me a large chunk of info to consider. On the last part you said this...
I totally high-jacked this thread. Thanks mods for allowing such and I'll try to refrain from doing so again. SlimBoyFat, as the main topic poster, pardon my intrusion.
Nothing you have said goes against the posting guidlines. And what you've said does fall under the topic at hand. So again, I doubt anybody would be upset with what you've had to say. If anything, you and Slim have much in common.
You may wonder, what do the elders/CO think about my selectivity? They know and understand. Afterall, they wanted me to be an elder and I declined twice in two different congregations. I assume they will do so again in the winter months when the CO makes his rounds once more. These brothers see my true motive in my service to Jehovah and are very supportive.
That just would not happen at my former Kingdom Hall. If you are not casted strait from the Watchtower mold, you are not fit to be a JW. That is why I left. I am never going to pretend to believe in something I don't believe in. That would make me a liar to myself.
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slimboyfat
Itsallgoodnow,
You wrote:
You seem to be able to shrug off most of the conflicting feelings a lot of us are bombarded with, and I think that's probably hard for a lot of people here to understand. But you seem to have found a way to look at your situation with a sort of perspective that keeps you feeling like you are in control. Whatever you need to do, man. I understand.
You make a good point there. Thanks for explaining that to me. I think I also don't want to close down any options unless I have to. If I leave the Witnesses then that is it, pretty final, whereas this way I can come and go when I like and put off any major decision into the future.
Slim
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greendawn
Obviously you will never make it to the GB unless you are a total yes-man and become part of the inner circle of all the Brooklyn boys. That's a multi billion dollar corporation you are talking about, not a true religion.
As for them being a cult it won't take much objective study to realise that, they are certainly not the worst out there but they are still a cult eg a totally dictatorial administration, expulsion for petty reasons and shunning, endless lying about the end of this world.
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AuldSoul
SBF: If I leave the Witnesses then that is it, pretty final, whereas this way I can come and go when I like and put off any major decision into the future.
Aslo, it postpones any consequence for the decision. Which also postpones any reaction from you to the consequences. Which renders you poorly suited to speak about the reactions of others to the organization's policies, since you are pretending in order to avoid those very consequences whereas others have decided not to pretend and accept the finality of the warped policies of the WTS.
But, as I have stated before, if it helps you cope more power to you.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
slimboyfat
My semi-status couldn't last forever. Recent events may culminate in me being branded 100% apostate.
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jgnat
There, there. There, there. It will all work out.
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Gypsy Sam
Looking forward to the update!