Is a sexually promiscuous life style linked to depression or insecurity?

by free2beme 47 Replies latest jw friends

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  free2beme

  I work in an environment at work that is a mix of adult ranging in age from 18-50. There are 300 plus people in the building, and that means you get a lot of soap operas happening from people sleeping with other people's girlfriends, boyfriends and even people cheating on their spouses with people they work with. Among the bunch is a large group of people who spend a lot of time passing themselves around, and sampling many sexual partners. Of the people who I know, I have often found that many do not seem as happy as one might think. After all, they are enjoying the sexual lifestyle that some people dream of, many partners and high sexual contact. Yet in many cases I see woman who are doing this and taking depression medication, and drinking a lot, as well as taking illegal forms of medication. The men are basically seeing these woman as something to use, abuse, and move on with. The woman seem to know this, and participate in a eager and almost sickening willingness. Not a couple woman, more like about 1/3 the woman I work with.

  So with this in mind, have you ever known someone who is living a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. That you would consider secure and happy?
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  parakeet

  ***So with this in mind, have you ever known someone who is living a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. That you would consider secure and happy?***
  
  
  I don't know anyone personally who fits that description, so I can't answer as to whether promiscuous people are secure or happy. But I'm not sure what your subject title means. By linking a promiscuous lifestyle and depression together, are you also suggesting that depression is linked to promiscuity? I don't think you are, but I want to make sure.
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  mama1119

  I am not sure, but I know my cousin is a very depressed/anxiety ridden but somewhat promiscious girl. She cannot be with out a man. She only feels complete with a man, so she will go with just about anyone, just to not be alone. Needless to say, she has gotten herself into some pretty sticky situations(she is pregnant now with another mans baby, not her husbands, he has no idea). I know she has ZERO self esteem.
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  free2beme

  depression is linked to promiscuity

  Actually it is part of it. What I am wondering is, is one a sign of the other? Or is depression something that comes about from someone living this lifestyle. What came first, the chicken or the egg.
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  vomit

  I am having a Non promiscuous, non sexual life style just now and the depression isnt going away.
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  parakeet

  ***What I am wondering is, is one a sign of the other?***
  
  
  Speaking from my own experience and from reading about depression, depression by itself is not necessarily a sign of a promiscuous lifestyle. In fact, an oppressive lifestyle (like the JWs) that discourages experimentation of any sort is IMO more likely to cause depression. Perhaps the people on this board with medical backgrounds can give you more information.
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  Kristofer

  i think it would misguided to say that one causes the other. In my opinion, they are both symptoms of something else and not necessarily related to each other.
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  bikerchic

  Of the people who I know, I have often found that many do not seem as happy as one might think. After all, they are enjoying the sexual lifestyle that some people dream of, many partners and high sexual contact. Yet in many cases I see woman who are doing this and taking depression medication, and drinking a lot, as well as taking illegal forms of medication. The men are basically seeing these woman as something to use, abuse, and move on with. The woman seem to know this, and participate in a eager and almost sickening willingness. Not a couple woman, more like about 1/3 the woman I work with.

  I think you answered your own question with what I bold-ed. It also seems to be pretty much a reasonable conclusion that people who allow themselves to be used and abused wouldn't feel good about themselves and would typically turn to drugs or alcohol to numb out.

  This is nothing new just more rampant as the break down of society gets worse which it seems to be doing. More people these days have grown up in broken homes and haven't had a good role model of a secure upbringing. Insecurity breeds insecurity and promiscuousness breeds the same. If that is the way they've been brought up that is how they will behave and so it goes....

  Also don't forget that some depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. I personally would wonder if children who come from broken homes where life is chaotic have more of a tendency to develop the imbalance in their chemical make up which make them out of balance chemically speaking and leave them at a disadvantage for the cycle of use and abuse.
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  Tigerman

  We all need sex. And sex means being close to someone. Without the warmth and ecstasy that comes from being physically close to someone people can become depressed and insecure.
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  BizzyBee

  Depression can exist without promiscuity. Insecurity can exist without promiscuity. But I don't think promiscuity can exist without both insecurity and depression, especially for women.

  By that, I mean, we are all insecure to some extent, but we don't all look to remedy our feelings of insecurity by actively seeking out responses to shore up our worth as sexual objects. This kind of attention is a "fix" that lasts about 5 minutes and then the hunger returns to find the next "fix." Until one faces the underlying causes and issues, the cycle continues and is increasingly destructive.

  Sadly, there are a couple of women on this forum who are very clearly in this category with all the resultant acting out that demonstrates it. Women in our culture are so very vulnerable and susceptible to this syndrome because our worth is so tied in with our physical appearance and our perceived availability as sexual objects. To be loved for who you are, not what you look like, or your availability as a sexual partner, is what we all want. Promiscuity is about seeking reassurance of our lovability based upon very shallow, fleeting values. It's like trying to satisfy a deep hunger for solid food with a meal of marshmallows.