I can be honest here.

by RichieRich 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • juni
    juni

    FreedomLover said:

    If you'd like to keep your mom in your life for the long run I'd take it slow, and take it at a pace that is comfortable to you. Maybe try a few conversations and see how that goes.....

    I have to agree here Richie. You're mom is reaching out to you because she loves you. No matter what our kids do we still love them. Mother/Child bond is very strong. But also you want her to know that she must respect your right as an adult to make your own choices as she had that right. As a child matures into adulthood the relationship w/mom and dad changes. Now it is an adult to adult relationship whereby each respect the other - they agree to disagree - and get on w/enjoying each other's company.

    Thanks for sharing the news with us.

    Hugs,

    Juni

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    Well, I have yet to return my mother's phone call. But I know what I need to do.

    My selfish first inclination was either to call and leave a nasty message, or to not reply at all.

    I guess I can't let my expectations get too high, but I can at least give things a shot.

    So what do you think she'll say when she sees her "new" son verus her old son???

  • Warlock
    Warlock
    So what do you think she'll say when she sees her "new" son verus her old son???

    She will say what I would say. "I love you,son".

    Warlock

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    Richie...I would say to call, not go and see her. Talk to her as her loving son that she loves!

    The tattoo's and rings (Which I think are cool) might scare her off!

    Not to mention give her amo and say to other's in the hall....'Yes the world is bad, look what it did to my son!'...LOL

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Hey Richie,I know the pain first hand,my heart go`s out to you.I love my mom too.She just won`t stop ripping my heart out,in the name of her religion,no matter how many times I ask.I finaly just told her not to come back.That was 8 years ago...OUTLAW

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    OUTLAW, thats my predicament exactly. For some reason, I think it might be better for both of us if we were to just exist seperately, and not have any interaction.

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    Richie

    Yeah not good with the brainwashing.

    Show her you want to be family...its the cult thats holding her back.

    I sincerely feel so sorry for you...but I know first hand about the brain-washing.

    if not today try to see her this week-end. Deep breath.

    .

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Dear Richie,

    So sorry to read about your hurt.

    As a mother of 2 sons your age I would be thrilled to hear from them if I had not spoken to them in a while.

    Also as a mother, I would be mad about the tatoos. If you do see her, don't push that issue. (My son had his tongue pierced and I quickly found the pliers)....To pairs needed, and I didn't undue the damage, one of his friends did.

    You look like a fine, handsome young man and after reading your history, intelligent too.

    Mothers remember everything about their children, the joy of having them, raising them, etc., so she called to let you know she was missing everything about her son. I would suggest just calling and see where it goes from there.

    All my best to you.

    r.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Richie,if thats the way you feel,then it might be wise to give yourself some time and space from your mom.That dosen`t mean you can`t try again with her in the future..I`ve tried many times with my mom,told her what bothered me.She just wouldn`t stop..There was only one way to stop her from beating the emotional crap out of me.That was to distance myself from her..I may try again but she will have to honour my feelings first.If she can`t recongnize what she is doing wrong,she will continue to repeat it.I can`t deal with that any more..Before you make any decisions,remember:"If it dosen`t feel Right,it`s Wrong."...OUTLAW

  • zanex
    zanex

    likes outlaws advice...the emotional blackmail can become very very difficult...my mom used to throw the "prodigal son" crap out all the time and preface it with "we miss you and love you...if only..." but everyone needs to make their own choices...

    "if it feels wrong it probably is..."

    -Z-

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