My wife & I have a good relationship except when it comes to things dealing with the WTS. Over the past few years we've both made concessions, and I even made some headway in getting her to think about some things. But from time-to-time we would end up arguing about something WTS-related and there would be days of tension between us.
Well, a few weeks ago we were having a casual conversation about wildlife in our area, she mentioned something about Jehovah ruining those who ruin the earth. I suggested we do some volunteer work in our area cleaning up a local creek that coming Saturday. She replied that she is already involved in a life-saving community service, and I said something sarcastic. She tells me she has allowed herself to drift, so she wants to get herself together and start pioneering again. From that point the argument ensued.
The next day I told her our "standoff" (for lack of a better word) wasn't working anymore and I couldn't be an elder or attend anymore meetings. She didn't say much about it, we didn't talk much that day. That evening I took my elder manual to the PO's house and was going to tell him I was done. He wasn't home so I left the book and a short resignation letter with his wife. That has been a couple of weeks ago. I haven't been to a meeting since.
My wife is upset...we talk and she's cordial, but I can tell she is upset. In hindsight I hate that I pushed too hard, my wife wouldn't agree to read/listen to anything contrary to the WTS, but I think she was doing her best given the situation. I just couldn't stomach listening to all the BS at the meetings and assemblies. I was tired of waiting for things to get better while life continued to pass me by. There are too many things I'd like to see and do. I don't regret not being an elder anymore, but I feel selfish...after all didn't my wife deserve some happiness too? She married a guy she thought would be a JW forever. I know she is torn in that she loves me, but at the same time I've been a disappointment to her. I don't know if she will stay around or leave...I've got a feeling she will leave.
I don't know what else to say. Right now I'm just taking some time to regroup, thankfully work has kept me busy. Eventually my relatives will find out I'm no longer serving, and I'm sure the elders will try getting with me. The coming weeks and months will be interesting.