I think I understand what you are getting at, and please tell me if I am wrong.
I think most of us would love to let it go in our every day lives. The problem is many of our family members still adhere to this sect and constantly remind us and make us pay emotionally for not being involved.
In my own case I believe it continues to cause mental and physical strain. I can't talk to who I wan't to talk to, I avoid witnesses who know me in grocery stores, fun shopping, restaurants etc. I am constantly on the look out for or avoiding the shun factor.
Just last night I received a phone call I would love to call and talk to my mom about. We would have laughed, compared notes and been relieved about certain financial decisions made......BUT I CAN'T!
It eats at me all the time, in every thing I do, and sometimes I can forget for a little while, but it always comes sneaking back, even in my dreams, so I start reading and posting on this site to relieve my frustration and know that I am not alone.
r.