When I was DF, the sin was reported ( I had a hickey on my neck)
I went before a JC, they asked tons of questions, and said we would meet again at specified time.
We talked again, and I guess they thought I was unrepentant as I was DF. The reason fornication.
I was alone. 27 yrs old w/ 5 kids(oldest was 8) .......newly baptised and newly divorced. My stepfather had recently commited suicide. I went from a six digit income to welfare. I was so totally lonely feeling. It was overwhelming and the stress........to this day I don't know who that person was that survived those years. I had distanced myself from all my "worldy" friends working my way to baptism. So the decision meant I had NOBODY.
I can't remember all the things discussed at the second JC meeting. When they tell you to wait outside while they make a decision, I think I just about had a meltdown. My face got so hot and I cried hysterically, pacing and walking round the hall in the dark. I could hardly breath. Snot bubbles coming out my nose. I do not even remember the words they used when they called me back in with the DF decision. I think they told me I could continue to pray. They never told me how to work my way back. I was so new in the truth, I did not know any of the politics. When it was announced the congo was in shock and most cried. I was their little pet for so long. And they knew what kind of troubles I was having personally. I was the bible study that stood up to my husband and refused a Chritmas tree in the house with five kids....and got thrown out of my house making that stand. The elders went to my ex to reason with him to let me back home.
I got a death sentence. I distanced myself from all my "worldy" friends. The decision meant I had NOBODY.
There was one sister from the hall. She worked at the electric company. When I would go to pay my bill she would smile at me. One time she showed me pics of her kids. It felt good to be acknowledged by her. I felt like the lowest scum from the earth. Not even worthy to be breathing air. I was totally ashamed. I was going to die at Armegeddon and so were my kids.
Niine years passed and I was reinstated. Shortly after that I was before a JC again for the same offense. While the first offense was a reaction to stress and drinking and just something crazy, the second was not..........it was for the pure fun and pleasure raging hormones to have sex. I was coached heavliy on how to conduct myself and what to say and ask before a committee. Stay lowly, admit you wanted it and that you are very very sorry. I told them it was more than once.......I said I thought after the first time why not do it more? I said I have been DF for this before and just got reinstated and here I am again before you with the same offense.
The sin was with a brother, the first offense was with someone worldly. I told them the brother said to me as long as we were going to marry it was ok for us to have sex. He said there were places in the bible that said that. I told the elders I looked and looked but found no places in the bible where sex before marriage was ok.
The outcome went totally different. When they told me to wait outside while they make a decision .........I said and asked.........If you decide to DF me, please give me something to work on. The last time I was just thrown out in the cold, not knowing at all what to do or how to really change the behaviour.
I went back in and the elders told me that since my first committee meeting the elders had learned alot. Now my circumstances would be taken into consideration. They were very nice and compassionate. Honestly they were. I was put on private reproof.
These were not the same elders from first JC committee. As a matter of fact it was a totally different state.
I have been divorced for 20 years, I guess I like sex but don't want to be married. I don't know.
purps
edited to add: Was this too much information?
