How do I get out of this? (page 2)

Mary

"....Thius will really be the first time my husband has experienced the birth of his child, since he was not living here last time, and I want it to be memorable to him. They do not get along very well (my friend and husband). I know I will be totally stressed if she comes over, and I really want it to be a family time for my husband, daghter, new baby and myself, since he has little time off. But she is dead set on coming over....."

Sorry, but I think it is incredibly rude of your friend to try and force herself on you, at a time when you just want it to be your husband and daughter there. Have you come out and told her that you just need some time with your husband, but that she's welcome to come over afterwards? I would tell her that your family and your husband's family will be there for the first couple of weeks helping out, but that you could "really use her help" a few weeks further down the road as that will be when you're the most stressed, or something like that.

You say she's very, very, easily offended/hurt but she doesn't seem to care too much about what YOUR wishes are-----only hers. No matter what you say, she's probably going to be offended but sorry, if she's willing to give up a life long friendship over something like that, she's not a true friend.

Sunspot

You say she's very, very, easily offended/hurt but she doesn't seem to care too much about what YOUR wishes are-----only hers. No matter what you say, she's probably going to be offended but sorry, if she's willing to give up a life long friendship over something like that, she's not a true friend.

Mary's post says it all. YOU are not being cruel or insensitive in wanting ONLY your hubby there for this birth---and for anyone to be offended by this decision deserves to feel whatever they/she conjures up.

Make your (and hubby's) wishes known and let the chips fall where they may. This baby is only going to be born once, and you should have things the way you and hubby want them! You are NOT being the least bit unreasonable----your friend is.

Two weeks, huh? Babies can arrive at any time---so I'll wish you all the best on your upcoming arrival before it gets here!

hugs,

Annie

juni

mama said this about her life long friend:

However, the last couple of years, she has really changed, alot. We are in totally different worlds. I am a stay at home mom and wife, and she is a party animal, with unbelievalbe drama that follows her everywhere. The last time she visited, I had a near nervous breakdown.

Does she have children?

It sounds to me like you had something in common for years and now you're going separate ways. You have a husband and supporting in laws. Sounds like you have matured and she is still living the old lifestyle that perhaps you once were in. Listen to yourself by re-reading what I quoted in the box above. Do you think she is good for you now?

Your husband comes first about being there w/you for the delivery of this baby. You both decide what YOU want as a couple. If she can't understand this then she's not a good friend.

I personally hate drama queen behavior. They usually lie to embellish their stories, they're self-absorbed and just plain draining on your emotions. I know sometimes they can be entertaining and humorous w/their stories, but really now at this time in your life w/many children to care for do you really want that in your life?

I hope you make sound decisions for the sake of your family and yourself. I was 28 and had 4 little ones. As Bikerchic said, "How did we do it?" Being young helps and the support of your husband and family and friends. Don't be afraid though to surround yourself w/those who have your best interests in mind. You don't have time for added problems nor should you expend emotional energy on someone who can't get their s*** together.

I wish you and your family the best.

Juni

Wasanelder Once

Tell her you've decided to give the baby up for adoption and you are selling the rest of your kids on the internet. If she's a witness, tell her you are joining the army and have become a lesbian who prints tracts against the society.

Or, tell her the truth, your husband and family come first friends second. Bad timing. Come later.

W.Once

juni

W. Once said:

Tell her you've decided to give the baby up for adoption and you are selling the rest of your kids on the internet. If she's a witness, tell her you are joining the army and have become a lesbian who prints tracts against the society.

Her friend sounds like a drama gueen. If mama told her this she'd be there in record time!

Drama queens feed on frenzy in peoples' lives.

Juni I know you're only foolin'. I agree w/your second advice.

becca1

You and your family deserve to make the arrival of this baby special in your own way. If that means immidiate family only, than so be it. Maybe ask your friend to come over for a weekend in a couple of months or so. If she gets offended, she is being self-centered and inconsiderate. This is not about her, and you don't need friends that are that shallow.

mama1119

Okay, here goes... I am making the phonecall

Satanus

They do not get along very well (my friend and husband).

As some people suggested, use your husband to keep her away. You could build it up to the point of saying that he is a bit wacko about you having his baby, and that it would be much better for her if she stayed away until he calmed down a bit, which could be up to a month or more after the baby arrives. Btw, i'm a guy

S

purplesofa

Okay, here goes... I am making the phonecall

tick tock............tick tock...........tick tock..........

purps

bikerchic

Okay, here goes... I am making the phonecall

Good for you mama! I know it will go well and then you can get on with relaxing before the baby bump gets here. Well yeah...sorta relax,hehee.

bikerchic........me too!!!!!! But then when youngest was 5mos I was filing for divorce, before the year was out I was divorced.

Purps!!! OMG........my X didn't do much with regard to interacting with the kids but he was a good provider which is why I stayed so long I couldn't imagine ever doing it ALL BY MYSELF......girl you are awesome! ((hugs))

How do I get out of this?

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