The 'blame your husband' thing works well, and seems that it would be completely honest and appropriate to say in this situation.
How do I get out of this?
by mama1119 27 Replies latest jw friends
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whyizit
This may have been suggested already:
Tell her that you are going through some stress (which is no lie), and that your husband is going to be the only one allowed in the room for the delivery.
As an adult, she should be able to handle that she is not invited for the actual birth, but if she gets her feelings hurt as easily as you say, she has a selfish streak. Her unreasonable emotions could be a result of depression, which many who lead the party-life struggle with. Taking that into consideration, you could excuse it as Dr.'s orders. Which I am sure your doctor would back you up 100%.
The last thing you need is for your friend to ruin this moment for you and your husband. Let her know she is welcome to visit after the baby is born. If your husband decides to take some photos, that would be great to share with her. My husband took discreet photos of our child-birth experience. They are suitable to show anyone, including our child.
Even if she gets upset and decides to be hurt and angry, you could still send her a photo of the event and let her know that you still care about her. Then the ball is in her court. Sounds like your friendship would be a sad loss in her life. She may think better of it as time goes on.
Congratulations on your soon-to-be new addition!
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mama1119
She still hasn't called me back. I have left a couple of messages...I don't want her to book her ticket because then I am stuck! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
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JWdaughter
Congratulations on your new little one and your little family.
I don't care if she booked her ticket. YOU are not stuck. Tell her to unbook it or reschedule it and if that is not possible, that she needs to stay somewhere for a couple weeks till you need her.
People are supposed to come at the birth of your child in support and to HELP, not for their own egos, not for their entertainment, convenience or fun or free room and board. It is about YOU and the BABY. It is NOT about her. And you might just need to tell her those hard truths. This is about your family. And with a little child and a new baby, you don't need someone like her around in any case. How much help is a flake? She has the potential to be the fun aunt, but hasn't quite figured out supportive friend.
Take care of you and your family. Your husband is in for the ride of his life-and you are going to have a whole new experience with all that husbandly and familial support. Have some brawny BIL get her out of the way if necessary:).
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Why Georgia
If you can't tell your friend the truth, blame it on the doctor.
Say in case of an Emergency they only want the husband or birthing coach in the room. If she is deadset on coming tell her how much it would mean to you to have her stay with your first child so you wouldn't have to worry....
I did this with my mom. I love her, but she gets crazy scared in a medical situation. She was with our oldest son when I was having our baby 2 years ago.
I know a part of her wanted to be in the room and see everything, since she missed the actual birth of our first son (c-section only one allowed in the room).....but I could live without one extra person seeing my girl parts this time around!
Best Regards,
Chrystal
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mama1119
Okay, well I told her, very nicely I might add, and now she won't talk to me. I guess true colors are coming out.
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sass_my_frass
Hey, she'll grow up and get over it, and if she doesn't, she can't help you with your life.
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LovesDubs
How good is this "friend" if your wishes dont mean anything to her? THAT IS the definition of a friend...one who respects your decisions, your feelings, your choices and your requests. Perhaps this is the tie breaker Mama...now dont be stressing over having been honest with her and end up like you wanted to avoid ending up an emotional wreck!
Im thinking she will show up anyway. "Hey...I KNOW you didnt REALLY mean it when you said you didnt want me to come..."
good luck with the new baby honey!
Loves