dido wrote:
I for one could not look at myself in the mirror if I continued to attend meetings (after a certain point).faders are cleverer than d/a`s and d/f`s, but they have to suffer longer by putting in appearances
Finally-Free wrote:
Bottom line - everyone should do what's best for themselves personally, and not feel obligated to explain themselves to anyone. You don't have to explain yourselves to this board any more than you have to explain yourselves to the elders. Neither one has authority in your personal life unless you give it to them.
Hear, hear!
garybuss wrote:
I laughed my ass off at his stories of stalking people trying to catch them in sin.
I was one of those who were stalked.
Forscher wrote:
It certainly takes courage in many cases to DA. To stand one's ground, even in the face of DF'ng certainly takes courage as well. But as somebody pointed out, each person's circumstances are different.
The main thing is --- how ever the method --- we chose to leave. Hooray!!! We are free!!!
Penny wrote:
I hate what the 'organisation' does to families.Yeah, it sure tore mine apart.
Inactive in jersey wrote:
my mom says it is because i am too weak to da'd. i have no family in so that's not any issue. i don't feel better than the df'd or da'd. i am sure that everyone in the congr. knows that i should be out by now.
Interesting how your mom makes that "judgment" . . . Maybe you are her mirror . . .? I'm thinking, what if she secretly wants to leave just like you did?
confused jw wrote:
Do you think faders come across as superior?
Perhaps I used to. But maybe that was because sometimes I wish I had the option of fading. However, I chose the df'ing route out. I followed in my mom's and my dad's foosteps in that regard. Maybe it was my way of letting them know "I support your choice! Watch this, I'm following suit!!!" It gives me hope that my kids will one day follow suit, too. Seems to be a family pattern!
CD wrote:
we are the same in that we are FREE & OUT of the Borg. for me, my freedom is enough..
Hear, hear!
daniel-p wrote:
Yes, I am better than most here. I pioneered for 4 years, spending my youth wasting my life on a book-publishing zionist cult. I am also superior because I served for a year at Bethel headquarters where I scrubbed pots and pans - that now gives me more ex-JW enlightenment than most. I've given plenty of public talks and this also makes me better than most on JWD because I spent many hours doing logic-tricks in my mind, avoiding full-on thinking when it came to inconsistent doctrines and so forth. I am also better since I have helped several others come to a complete understanding of nothing at all. All hail Daniel-P!!! The foremost among you.....
lol!!!Point taken. Thankfully I never "converted" any one . . . except, sadly, my kids.
Mystla wrote:
oh! the superiority complex runs in the family, btw, my sister and her hubby were recently made CO's Her nose is so high in the air.. if it rains, she'll drowned for sure!!
Interesting how I had no self-esteem as a borg member. Yet there was an air of superiority. I wonder how that works?
Mystla wrote further:
Whats funny is that underneath my superior attitude I felt completely worthless, I could never get it right or be good enough.. how's that for contradictory?
Hmmmm . . . leaves me wondering that as well. I wonder if anyone here has any further thoughts on this dichotomy. I love the dictionary definition of this:
Pronunciation: dI-'kä-t&-mE also d&- Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural-mies
Etymology: Greek dichotomia, from dichotomos
1: a division into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities <the dichotomy between theory and practice>; also: the process or practice of making such a division <dichotomy of the population into two opposed classes>
Little Bo Peep wrote:
One thing I have learned from being in the WT for over 50 years, was how judgemental they all are, and how superior they feel. I have come away knowing I never want to be judgemental again. If one is disfellowshipped, asks to be disassociated, or just fades, that is each ones decision, for whatever reason.
Living as a jw has taught me some things that I do not wish to be . . . judgmental is one.
Blondie wrote:
BTW, you can be a fader and not be going to any meetings. And that time period of gradually not going to any meetings, need not be long. It depends partly on your status in the congregation to start with and sometimes how many family members are JWs locally, and how many local congregations there are. Moving is helpful in fading. The important is not to be be judging other's actions and motives. I think we can all say that we had enough of that when we were captive to the Borg.
Thanks, Blondie. Some of us don't have the luxury of choosing our exit strategy. Or maybe we really did choose our exit strategy on a subconscious level, by choosing to oppose the borg somehow. Moving is great advice. That's what I did. Best thing I ever did.
Mrs Smith wrote:'
why play by their rules?
Good point. As long as we play by their rules, we give them our power. By leaving we reclaim our power. Now we can play by our own rules. And my game doesn't make me go sell books without pay . . . and I like that!!!
undercover wrote:
We are all fighting the same fight against the oppression of the WTS. It's just that we all have unique situations and we each have to handle them as best as we know how. . . . I admire those that take that stand to officially DA themselves. It's a very courageous thing to do. Does that mean that those who fade are less courageous? I don't think so...we still have an ongoing fight that takes courage to deal with as well. We're all from the same background, we just chose different paths out and away from that background that we want to leave behind.
cool Avatar, undercover. So true. When our path diverged away from the borg . . . when we chose our independence . . . we chose varying paths away from the borg. and varying consequences accompanied. We calculated our exit, whether it was to get df'd, da, or fade. Whatever works for us, the important thing is we are now free to be who we really were meant to be . . . and FREE!!! That is worth the price for sure.
juni wrote:
JW mindset (labeling) - I'm "better" or more "spiritual" than you because.......Hate it, hate it, hate it. Class distinction.
I agree with this. When we leave the borg, we leave their class distinctions. We are all equals, we are all ONE.
good girl or bad girl wrote:
ME, I decided that I already walked away, they hold no further authority over me,
Exactly.
samiellee's wife wrote:
It is not a fellowship. It is not a loving nor a kind relationship. It is both repressive and oppressive. It is an abusive connection whereby the WTS retains all the power - controlling by fear, exhaustion, guilt and isolation. swife.
We can take back our power that we had given them. In my case, being a dub was all I ever knew, being born and raised as one. Reclaiming my power? No, it was more like grabbing it from them upon my exit. I have spent years in therapy even before leaving before I even found my legs to take a stand and empower myself. I don't look back with any regret. For me a move away from Saskatoon was most beneficial. I no longer feel like I'm being watched by some "spy".
samiellee wrote:
We have all been victims.
Indeed. We don't have to live with that label for the rest of our lives, however.
What does a healed exjw look like?
Look in the mirror!!!
Thanks for the great responses!
Love you all.
ESTEE