Dear Members,
I am so glad to have found you! I left the Congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually). I didn't have a choice about leaving the organization, I literally got ill every time I would begin getting dressed for a meeting, and after trying to force myself to go one Sunday I broke out in hives all over my body. I seriously get sick even now when I think about the idea of walking into a Kingdom Hall.
I have always maintained that the Witnesses are sincere people who are being misled in matters of doctrine. I've felt that something was wrong at the top and that the "everyday, regular publisher" was unaware of the situation. But then again, the people in Germany were sincere and unaware of the Nazi movement too, right? Recently I have gotten in touch with a deep pain in my heart... The Governing Body could not do these things on their own without the help of many many many in each congregation to carry out their will. My sense of betrayal is fresh and new and I'm not sure exactly how to process this.
I read some of your posts, and you seem bitter. I don't want to be bitter... I want to grieve this and then go on in a positive light again. Some seem to despise all JW's and I understand that feeling lately, but how can I find forgiveness again, and return to a peaceful frame of mind? To invest negative energy towards these people in an ongoing way is to continue to give them power in my life, and I want to end their power.
Not sure if I'm making any sense. I guess what I'm asking is, how do I heal? How do I maybe locate people in my area who also need to heal? And how do I continue to learn where I've been "misled" without feeling that I've been made a fool of?
Kathy