by juni 36 Replies latest jw friends
Did you kill anyone? rape anyone?..." Gary said "no, I was caught cheating on my wife with"... I looked at the JW and said, "Look man, we all fall short of the glory of God, right?".
Then the DFed JW and this person went to the parking lot and celebrated their new acquaintance w/a toke on dope.
MY QUESTIONS TO YOU:
Would you celebrate a new acquaintance w/someone who was DFed for adultery? How do you view this particular sin?
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWERS.
Juni
I would not celebrate anything by toking on dope. I hate drugs. I am not crazy about adultery either. People just get hurt in that. I have more respect for a person who knows the marriage is not working and divorces, than a person who cheats.
Maybe I am just a black and white kind of guy.
Would you celebrate a new acquaintance w/someone who was DFed for adultery? How do you view this particular sin?
I Have many times..... What sin he commits is not my beeswax. My job is to let him know there is a God & HE is not part of the WT. Sin is SIn whatever one does. God sees the heart. I definatly would not celebrate his release with a toke>>>> I think that can be disabilitating also !! but we are each free to do want we want As long as we know we reap the outcome. My main purpose it to tell him Jesus Christ paid for his sin & would like to become his friend, & for the sinner to accept HIM as such.
Mouthy
Would you celebrate a new acquaintance w/someone who was DFed for adultery? How do you view this particular sin?
I don't know that I would "celebrate" it, but I would not judge them before knowing all of the facts. I have known a few sisters who were DF'd for adultery. Considering what kind of men they were married to; it did not surprise me in the least. They were married to men (in some cases, elders ) who were absolute a-holes. I certainly don't condone it; but at the same time, I don't "jump the gun" and condemn someone before knowing the whole story.
I believe that the worst betrayal, no matter the cirumstance, is betrayal of trust. No matter the circumstance it is the worst.
No, wouldn't celebrate anyone's betrayal of trust. I don't care if they are DF'd or not, it's not something I could celebrate.
Why a person is DF'd is seldom really known beyond the urban myth that follows them, unless it is a victim that lets it be known. Even then its not possible to know all the facts. People are people. I won't judge them, but I wont put myself in harms way cavalierly.
W.Once
Celebrate-no. Associate-yes. Bare facts are not the whole story. And the past is not my concern.
Juni,
You seem to be going through some personal marriage issues here and carrying it over into your posts.
From someone who just lost a 33 year marriage and a 38 year committed relationship, this is a hell of a lot more complex than whether or not you'd share a toke or a drink with someone who had been unfaithful in a marriage.
Is remaining faithful in any marriage the ultimate test of morality?
Is it your or my responsibility to judge this in another couple's life?
You still see things in terms of sin and guilt, which indicates you're still fully locked into the Christian world view. If you widen that world view, will you begin to see things differently, apart from the sinner and victim mentality that haunts Christianity?
Lots of things change over several decades in a relationship. At what point does it become more ethical to move on than to remain in a relationship that has lost much of its meaning and is detrimental to both parties?
Eternal vows of love and fidelity are artificial constructs that we've been taught are an ultimate morality - yet human experience in every culture known to humankind proves over and over again that it is simply not so. We create an ideal romantic vision of true love and forever soul mates that is far removed from any reality I've ever seen. Yes, two people can be really committed and happy, but that is not always the case. Unless we've walked in all the shoes of all the other couples of this earth, how can we judge everyone on what is the right or wrong thing to do based on a religious cultural ideal that we've come to accept as the final statement on the subject?
Things are just not that simple. I'm no advocate of adultery, but I also understand that it is not quite as clear cut as you seem to think it is.
S4
I hesitate to make a judgment call on what anyone does, because I don't know the entire set of circumstances or what may have led up to the adultery. Things are not always cut and dry. It could have been an ongoing relationship or a one-time slip-up.....the point is....WE don't know!
I know, as Mouthy brought out, that Jesus death covers over a multitude of sins. If one is sorry for the hurt and pain the guy in question has caused---what more can be said or done? It is between the sinner and Jesus! We don't need to pick each sin apart to analyze which is the worst and why we feel that way. We can leave the judging to the One who'se hands it is in.
Certain things make ME more upset that someone else....but that's because of what we personally bring into our feelings about it. It may "hit a nerve" with US but not somebody else. There are so many variables on this.
So, no.....I would not "celebrate" anyone's infideleity with a toke OR even with a "legal" glass of wine.....but I would also take into account that I have made many mistakes myself and would like to hope that these would be forgiven if I were truly sorry for having committed them.......and aren't we ALL in this together????
Annie
Life without trust is pretty empty IMO. I have quit the judging now, but would not 'celebrate' such break of trust with someone by smoking dope.
People do a lot of things, for a lot of reasons. The provision remains that the damaged mate could and often do forgive betrayal of the marriage bed - showing that a lesser entangled person would probably be able to forgive it with less difficulty. Besides, not my place to forgive the sin someone commits against another.
No dope. But I might let that person blow off some smoke if he needs it at that moment.
Jeff
Hi Juni,
It all depends on the act, the person, and the circumstance. Currently, for example, a man I work with is going through a trans-gender operation to become a woman in every sense. I enjoy the friendship, and do not judge his/her choice, though I am not sure I can say that it is right, neither can I say that it is wrong.
On the other hand, if I meet a new acquaintence who turns out to be a violent person, a sex-offender, or pedophile, I am not going to let the meeting turn ever into a friendship ... regardless of whether the person is a JW, ex-JW, or never-a-JW.
In all other circumstances, I am pretty non-judgmental.
Jim Whitney
