by juni 36 Replies latest jw friends
I wonder what Abraham's wife thought about him when he gave her to another man to protect his life?
I wonder what Lot thought about his sex with his daughters?
Poor David just couldn't resist getting it on with someone else's wife either.
Soloman must have been on viagra with 700 wives.
Men are so evil.
Ken P.
PS: I have no idea what I was trying to explain.
My parents weren't happy together and a lot of the time the atmosphere at home would be absolutely dreadful. I couldn't bear it and I dreaded going home from school at times. It was very depressing and very draining. They stayed together until we had grown up but I really wish they hadn't. I feel really bad for my mum aswell for spending 30 years being so unhappy, I feel responsible for it somehow being as they felt the need to stay together for us kids
Kind of a lose, lose situation here. Most kids of divorced parents somehow feel that they are to blame! The problem is with them and the way they made the home atmosphere dreadful. That is on their shoulders!
a couple kind of close to me divorced and somebody said he "had some apostate ideas", but his wife caught him cheating and he had been an elder many years. When I heard he "had apostate ideas" I automatically thought I could relate better to his side of things, but I think now that I am not too impressed with the way he handled everything. Did he stop believing and then out of frustration, react with the drinking and cheating? or did the drinking and cheating come before the "apostate ideas"? In other words, did he get kicked out, and then stop believing? or was he a tyrant elder who all along didn't believe and got kicked out because he couldn't go on anymore? either way, I am not impressed enough with the way he handled it to "celebrate" with him, in fact I haven't confided in him, and probably never will.
Marriage/cheating/divorce is such a complex issue, who are we to know what went on in that relationship? I'm finding one thing to be the case in most of these types of breakups. It can seem to look like there is a guilty party and an innocent party. In reality, both people contribute to the destruction of the relationship in most cases.
still, I don't think cheating your way out of a cult is all that impressive. just because he got disfellowshipped doesn't mean he won't return to the cult. he's got to really understand what happened and how he feels about it, because all too often people go back to it.
Seeker4 said: Eternal vows of love and fidelity are artificial constructs that we've been taught are an ultimate morality - yet human experience in every culture known to humankind proves over and over again that it is simply not so. We create an ideal romantic vision of true love and forever soul mates that is far removed from any reality I've ever seen. Yes, two people can be really committed and happy, but that is not always the case. Unless we've walked in all the shoes of all the other couples of this earth, how can we judge everyone on what is the right or wrong thing to do based on a religious cultural ideal that we've come to accept as the final statement on the subject? Things are just not that simple. I'm no advocate of adultery, but I also understand that it is not quite as clear cut as you seem to think it is.
I agree 100%. I knew a sister in my old congregation who was married to an abusive man (who is now a 'born again christian who denies he ever beat her up). He was not only physically abusive, he was mentally and emotionally abusive to her. She ended up having an affair. Was that wrong? Technically yes, but I think it's completely understandable why she did it. She's only human and was starved for love and affection.
Everyone's circumstances are different, but like Seeker said, life isn't black and white.
Undecided is blowing some smoke lol ! Herb dont hurt, do it ?
My husband cheated on me for years (I didn't know about it as it was happening, I discovered it later. Ah, it was so good to find out we never really had a marriage. ). When you love somebody and are deeply committed to them and your marriage, its one of the most horrible feelings in the world to find out that they don't feel the same way. The idea that people would celebrate (with dope or anything else) such a betrayal is painful to contemplate. I know that's not what the thread was about but those of us who have been cheated on are, perhaps, overly sensative in this regard.
Its been almost 20 years since my divorce, so I have enough distance not to become immediately outraged any more, still, I found that aspect of butter's account somewhat distasteful. Like why mention adultry at all? It seemed to be making light of it even if that was not intended.
(((juni)))
LOL @ Ken...yeah, men are horrible!! (women, of course, can do no wrong).
I think that adultry is a symptom of a deeper problem (Einstein like deduction eh?).
I'm married to a smoking hot women with a great personality. If she told me today, remember that time 15 years ago when I and *****......it would not be the end of the world.
I would strongly prefer if my wife did not commit adultry, but having been married 27 years, I can look back and see that there were times when it could have happened.
Abuse as a dealbreaker....Yes! Adultry.....many marriages have survived successfully afterwards. In some cases traumatic incidents can bring you closer with the aid of a good family therapist.
Luna said:
My husband cheated on me for years (I didn't know about it as it was happening, I discovered it later. Ah, it was so good to find out we never really had a marriage. ). When you love somebody and are deeply committed to them and your marriage, its one of the most horrible feelings in the world to find out that they don't feel the same way. The idea that people would celebrate (with dope or anything else) such a betrayal is painful to contemplate. I know that's not what the thread was about but those of us who have been cheated on are, perhaps, overly sensative in this regard.
Its been almost 20 years since my divorce, so I have enough distance not to become immediately outraged any more, still, I found that aspect of butter's account somewhat distasteful. Like why mention adultry at all? It seemed to be making light of it even if that was not intended.
(((juni)))
LOL @ Ken...yeah, men are horrible!! (women, of course, can do no wrong).
First of all I don't do illegal drugs nor intend to, but was quoting from the original posting which Luna picked up on and also some others.
Secondly, yes I am sensitive to the adultery subject as I experienced it first hand. That is one reason why this post got me upset. I don't want to go into further details, but I thank you for your kindness in wishing me well.
I appreciate all of you for spending the time to post your feelings about this. Thank you very much.
Juni
I was disfellowshipped for adultery. I don't consider it was adultery as I had already moved out. Anyway, it wasn't breaking trust with a loved one because I don't believe he loved me and I sure as hell didn't love him.
So, can I stand in the corner with Lee?
Fe
So, can I stand in the corner with Lee?
Come on over. It's a nice little corner.
I was stunned when they DFed me for a one-time thing meanwhile doing nothing to him for years of abuse.
It is so easy for people to cast stones. Adultery is complex sometimes. I don't think it is ever something to celebrate. Regardless of my reasons, my daughters got hurt. Mind you they would have gotten hurt if I just walked away but they didn't need the stigma of their mom being DFed
