i have a situation that i need help with....2 1/2 yrs ago i met a woman online she is 20 yrs older then me 41 now as i am 23...i fell in love with her and i never have been in a long relationship. I know she is married but very unhappy...we been having a long distance affair for 2 1/2 years and i love her more then anything in this world...i have made her very happy and just the other day she feels trapped knowing she will be destroyed...i did not know what JW's were so i have been going to learn so i could understand her. I need help scriptures anything that i can use to help her leave her mentally abusive husband. please...shes been so upset lately and i don't know what to do she wants to be with me but is afraid of losing her everlasting life....i need guidance and understanding to help her i appreciate any advice you can give me.....today has been hell for me due to a watchtower article and it is throwing everything away we have worked so hard on.....the latest thing she knows she will be destroyed and she has been so mentally abused that she does not know if she can make me happy....I have tried evrything....i know that i must be hitting you people real hard and i tell you this we have been together but no sex..due to i respect her and will wait till shes ready....i just want to give her hope guys and gals...i may be young but shes the one i want and i would do anything for her..so far shes still with me but i know that i need to show her she can divorce him and be with me....and before anybody shuns me know that i tried to help their marriage but thats what got me into this....i don't want anyone to tell me i'm wrong or make crude comments if thats the case do not post...i want everyone to have an open mind and to give me advice...i'm not backing away or running i just need to show her that God will love her shes a good woman people and this will be her 1st sin...and i know once this is over with she will continue being faithful to God...please anybody just help me to talk to her using scriptures or giving me advice on how to do this...thank you Joe
Been in an longdistance relationship with a married woman
by SWolf 34 Replies latest social relationships
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LittleToe
You need to walk away from this. Everything about it stinks, so much so I can't even begin to iterate the ways, and you're just going to get your heart ripped out and fed to you.
You're 23 - barely starting your adult life. Count it a lesson learned and find someone else. Honestly, I mean this for your best...
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TheKings
okay, first things first... if you're going to talk to a JW about their religion you have to understand it or at least know about it or you will be overwhelmed. it really is impossible to know what it's like to be one unless you've lived it, but the second best thing you can do is arm yourself with knowledge.
jwfacts.com is good. there are other sites but this is the only one i know of off-hand.
this is the thing, though, if she knows you've looked at 'apostate' sites (basically anyone who says anything bad about the jw faith) then she will shut her brain off and won't listen. all the love in the world won't make her listen. you have to be smart how you say it.
whenever she starts talking about her beliefs you need to pay close attention... carefully offer another view and drop a few facts you learned.
see how she reacts.
be very gentle at first...or you'll lose her. this is really dangerous...cause if she sees you as a threat to her faith then that is worse than a threat to her marriage in jw terms.
it might be a good idea to ask her how she feels about being a jehovahs witness and just get her to talk about it and feel easy about explaining things with you. i hope she hasn't tried to convert you. :p
learn all you can
ask questions
listen well
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Sam87
what you should do is refer her to this website, then she will be able to see the crap that the jehovahs witnesses teach, and see that it isnt really ''the truth''.
Sam87
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TheKings
You need to walk away from this. Everything about it stinks, so much so I can't even begin to iterate the ways, and you're just going to get your heart ripped out and fed to you.
You're 23 - barely starting your adult life. Count it a lesson learned and find someone else. Honestly, I mean this for your best...
this is true.
but if he does not at least try ...it will haunt him all the same.
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restrangled
Dear Swolf,
On line relationships are usually fantasies. Have you actually met in person or spent time together other than online or the telephone? Why if she has been abused is she still in the relationship for the 2 plus years you have known each other? I have sons your age, .....they have been approached by women her age. It's called being a "toyboy".....or an ego trip one way or the other.
You are in for a world of hurt. No 40 something year old woman worth her salt would seriously consider a young man of 23 someone they would spend the rest of their life with, or take marriage advice from.
You have to wake up from this dream you are in. Do yourself a favor and move on as hard as it may be...as quickly as possible.
r.
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Twitch
On line relationships are usually fantasies.
True dat.
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stillajwexelder
Walk away now - this has major trouble written all over it
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jgnat
OK, the marriage article comes out and she's all freaking out that she will die if she doesn't obey it. She's still a Watchtower slave, and you are her dirty little secret, a plaything. Until she grows up enough to WALK AWAY FROM THE FREAKING MAGAZINE, you two have no hope.
FIRST PROBLEM, she needs to honestly get out of a marriage lacking in love.
SECOND PROBLEM, you need more friends. Because there's a slim 10% chance she will leave the organization, leave her marriage, and come to you. And whether you know it or not, you are due for some maturity and growth changes in the next five years which may make her an unsuitable companion for the rest of your life.
THIRD PROBLEM, are there children involved? Relatives? Would you ever be accepted?
FOURTH PROBLEM, would she ever risk death by leaving the society to be with you? Because that is her choice. So far from what you've told me, I haven't seen that courage in her. A brave woman would have left her husband first before seeking out a new lover.
BUT, you are 23 years old with energy to spare and a lifetime in front of you. You will probably knock yourself out trying. First off, get Steve Hassan's books on combatting cult mind control. You have to be very careful how you present new information so that you don't scare her off. www.freedomofmind.com Second, read Blondie's reviews every Saturday. She will introduce you to the topic of the week so you can anticipate your lover's fears, and how the Watchtower uses manipulative language to control their followers. Here's her comments on the marriage thread.
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AudeSapere
Wise auntie JG calls it like it is. Re-read what she wrote.
-Aude.