When I started dating, telling people I was just getting out of being a JW was actually almost a pick-up line! I'm serious. What guy is going to turn down a sweet 21 year old who says "I just moved out from my parents and have never even kissed a guy, let alone celebrated any holidays. But now I'm ready for some change." THEY LOVED IT! I think it's an interesting conversation starter, if nothing else. And like others said, most people aren't familiar enough with JWs to realize what a huge deal it is. They think it's funny or slightly interesting, and then we move on and talk about what music we like or where we work or something else.
How do I explain my Jehovah's Witness past to a potential mate?
by The wanderer 45 Replies latest jw friends
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codeblue
Honesty is the best policy..............
Be yourself and explain your past....if they really care for you they will respect you.
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JWdaughter
Hi, meet people in whatever way you decide works for you. Many people meet online now, and I know a few-I don't consider it an issue. Be wise about it, however.
Are you looking for a virgin? Or a woman who is picky and unpromiscuous? You can often get an idea of their attitudes toward morality by reading between the lines, and you can be subtle in letting them know yours also. So far as the religious past-not an issue for the first few dates, but if you are in religious limbo/confusion still, it might be something you need to acknowledge.
Know what things are important to you in all aspects of life, and I doubt you will be 'rejected' for being a former JW. You need to be sure before you start that you are NEVER going back-that would be a cruel thing to do to a nice woman who thinks you are well out of it.
I hope you are doing things that you enjoy, whether it is sports, cooking, outdoorsy stuff, etc. Getting involved in groups of people that enjoy the same thing is a great way to meet people. School, clubs etc. Volunteering. You really need to get into the 'world' again, and this may be a good way to kill two birds with one stone-just don't choose your activities strictly because you think you will meet the right person there-that will keep you from being real. Plus, you will meet friends, and people often meet spouses through their friends. Find out all of who you are and what you enjoy, and the rest will follow. Good luck.
Shelly
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JWdaughter
Please, please, please, do not associate the 'world' with Jerry Springer. He is an anomoly-or those people are. You aren't going to get 'stuck' with someone like that. I think you are smart enough to notice the boob jobs(you know, the ones who want to make the Guiness book of world records or something)of women who have 4 kids with 4 men who have grandchildren at the age of 26. You are a good man, and you can be picky-you don't need to choose a skank.
(My apologies to any 26 yo grammas here)
Shelly
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blondie
Just dating...hold off and see if you are compatible
Next, decide how much JW thinking and beliefs you retain that could cause a problem with a potential mate. If they are strongly religious themselves, what do they believe. Catholics and Protestants don't always make a good match, as do Jews and Christians may not. It depends on their individual beliefs.
If you retain some JW thinking/beliefs, they I would think it would be necessary to tell the person which ones you still believe and how that might affect your relationship and problems with family down the road.
Be honest about what you can't compromise on.
Blondie (been there, done that)
BTW don't tell them that you don't believe in celebrating Christmas and be having sex with them....it comes across like straining out the gnat and gulping down the camel.
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jgnat
From an outsider's point of view, I'd say be open about your past but don't even BOTHER trying to explain the intricacies of the JW weirdness. It just comes of as well, WEIRD.
For example, when I got serious with one boyfriend way back, he confided his big secret. He had only one testicle. It might affect whether he could make babies. Now, this is definitely NOT first-date material. But if you are getting serious with each other, this bit of information is critical. Especially if you plan on having children.
Approach the JW experience with the uninitiated the same way. Explain how that history might affect them. Explain that the in-laws may NEVER accept them, regardless of how nice they are. That you might experience some hangups during the holidays, and that you are allergic to being organized by others in any way. Things like that.