Why would this even cross my mind?!?!?!?! (page 2)

KW13

You can't punish yourself or think badly of yourself for thinking anything. A break up is a big thing and your right to want someone who loves you back, that is human.

Oh honey, I have not met you yet, but my name is Decki, And just recently here I was a big queen of stupidity and heartbreak. Not a marriage, but I had a few of these too. I did the same, I felt as if I would not have been alone if I had been more of this and less of this and blah blah. You know what, I got a chance to see glimpses of the things I thought took the one I loved away, or the ones that helped break up my marriage, and well...pffft....whatever. To each his own. There will all be skinnier and this one will be smarter and I will be more heartfelt and I will be good and they will be bad. People will tell you you are better and people will defend themselves. Some have better traits and the same people will make you cringe and laugh your butt off at "the other woman and it feels so good to think that you were worried about "that".

BUT...BUT...in the end, there is so much more that has to be looked at honey. Each of us has a journey and the soulmate that he thinks he has found is on one of her own. He is on a journey of his own. Today you are probably so hurt and so mad, but someday you may be so happy he let you go and opened the door for so many other things you have in your life.

Rright now you are alone. That is scary at 30. It also is wonderful at 30. I am 36. Last night I was lonely and today I am too. But who knows what tomorrow brings? You will adjust to life as it is and not how it has been. As it sounds this will be a good thing. Think about it. Your life is not over and it has not just begun. People always say if I could go back and know what I know know and be what I was then...but I say that I am do have the knowledge I have now, and I have a whole damn life in front of me. So honey I strongly suggest you don't go run back to something that does not in the long run make you happy. That is the WTBTS. Take a moment and learn life a new way. try living with your kids in a new world a new life. There are good people out there and good times. New loves and new experiences. It is ok to feel and think all these things.

Of course it is Ok to laugh at the ones who have harmed you, but don't take it too far because there are times in our life when we are the ones in the wrong and will be the ones people have to giggle at to get through the day. It is human nature. He is making his mistakes right now and someday hopefully he will stupid and you can have a heart to forgive and have gotten so far past this that a giggle will escape your lips. that is when you know you are truly better when it is a giggle and not a vendictive laugh.

You will make it through and with the support of this board (I have faith in these people) and with your loved ones you can start over and hopefully you will feel free to allow yourself to feel silly or allow hurt and allow yourself to do all the things people go through when hurting and then move on. LIVE. Love will come naturally. You never know you may even find friendship years down with your ex and you may end up with someone else, or him...or you may even find that you love, actually LOVE being alone. It all takes time. Hopefully this makes some sense and if you want to talk, you have found a place for it.

30 is not the end of the world and the JW's is never the complete solution. IMO. Hiding from life does not help and going back to something you feel is wrong is not right.

Hope we talk more.

Decki

gordon d

Hi Juniper,
Aren't you glad to be here instead of the KH.... People feel your pain, People do care, and people do want to help.

Now stand up and repeat after me:

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
I spent oh so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
but I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and now you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Love from us all!!!!!!
gordon

Sparkplug

OMG Gordon...I about spewed DR. Pepper all over when I read this:

Now stand up and repeat after me:

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side

I like your funny. Good job. I feel a burning bra moment coming on.

gordon d

Hi Sparky,

Im stepping outside and looking for the smoke signals...

Sparkplug

OMG... I am so on hallucinating type meds for migraine today and for a moment seeing you are in Texas I went to go look out my window. I also looked to see if juniper was closer. Too bad we could take her out to sing some GLORIA...and hoop it up. She needs an apostafest. You think?

Kudra

Gotta chime in as another girl who is starting over at thirty!

I agree 100% with all the previous posts -Juniper you are very young, you have no kids, and you seem to have an itch to DO SOMETHING.

What a great combination! What do you LOVE doing? Go do that and the rest of it be damned!

Just be smart and safe ;)

-K

Juniper

Apostafest? What's that???

Sparkplug

Apostafest? What's that???

OMG. Iam having palpitations. I fell over an bonked my head. My bra is on fire and the rubber parts are all melting intoi my skin. I forgot to take it off before I lit it uop and started singing "I Will Survive!" Girl it is such a good thing. first start by saying that to you. Anyone else want to help fill her in?

Juniper

Wish I had some of that migraine medicine! Sounds like you're having fun with all your liberating bra burning and karaoke-singing! :)

Yeah..... I've only been out a year, guys. What's an apostafest????

Why would this even cross my mind?!?!?!?!

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