Still Groggy: Double Agent's Blog #001 - "Pressure Building" (page 3)

jgnat

Excellent point, TheListener. A parable I've rarely heard the JW's expound is the parable of the unmerciful servant.

Scripture:Matthew 18:21-19:1

http://www.rockies.net/~spirit/sermons/a-or24sm.php

inlove,

I'd say that it's good for you to go with him for support, especially since he's got the shunning to endure. Just keep your guard up there. You'll be entering a building with 1 guy brainwashing a room of 100 yes-people. Don't become one of them. Keep your wits up.

PM me if you need any advice.

Is your husband trying to be reinstated? How long has he been DFed?

-SG

StillGroggy

Sirnose, its a fight against facecrime constantly:

"Facecrime (an indication that a person is guilty of thoughtcrime based on their facial expression)"

Bubble, I don't think ill be living a lie for long, 6-9 months I think. After those events I believe that Darth Frosty is right. A showdown is coming, and probably sooner than later.

Brenda, you didn't jack the thread, I think your comments are right on point! It did seem like a denial statement. All JWs make these. "Im not brainwashed! No-one's abusing me!"

truthsetsonefree, wow, that's some endurance. Good for you.

theListener - I think as most zealous JWs go, my wife is not that judgemental. BUT, being a zealous JW Forces you to be judgemental about "conscience matters" that the FDS turn into rule (R-rated movies, M-rated games, college, myspace, etc.) So your on point. I will consider this

I did discover during the argument that my wife still judges me for our differences in "conscience matters." I don't watch R-rated movies (to be on the bandwagon), but I do play M-rated games and haven't budged on the matter. She mentioned that I had a whole bunch of things that offend her! (Isn't it hard to be married to someone who actually uses their conscience!)
I guess me not taking a dump all over myspace was the last straw!!!

Funny, I feel closer to you all than most JWs I know, and your comments display a true concern for my situation. Thank you!

jgnat

Sirnose, its a fight against facecrime constantly: "Facecrime (an indication that a person is guilty of thoughtcrime based on their facial expression)"

A succinct description of feminine indictment if I've ever heard it.

StillGroggy

what's feminine indictment??? I don't know that and I'm one of the "bad dubs" that went to college! lol

Most of the facecrime occurs when i hear stuff that I know is BS and I have to keep from cringing or laughing. Usually during public talk or in service.

jgnat

Ah. I was talking about the female judgement of facecrime. As in, "Buster, don't you dare make that face at me! Don't think I don't know what you're thinking! You will eat your steamed carrots and love it!"

OnTheWayOut

my wife still judges me for our differences in "conscience matters."

Stick to your guns on this stuff. Even if these things seem minor, they are clearly conscience matters. You need to establish that your
conscience allows things that are on the fringe of "spiritually weak." It is the best way to fade. There's no point in starting to cave in on things that would make you appear spiritually stronger.

Don't overwhelm your wife with negatives about WTS. I did that and had to back off. Now, I occasionally tell her something I read or heard.
I just told her last week about the California lawsuit about Clergy Privilege. I told her that this would, undoubtedly change the way congregations report things to Bethel, so there is less of a file to turn over from now on. I managed to tell her this stuff without too much personal opinion in it. I am introducing the idea to her that this is a legal corporation, not a spiritual one. This week, I mentioned the Chiropractor, Dr. Brenda Upton, that got rewarded Worker's Compensation, a ruling against the WTS. I slipped in that things like this might be why the Organization is getting rid of people before they are a health burden- so unloving and not showing concern for "family." Now I need to back off for a few weeks, unless other JW's start the conversation.

Little dents or chips in the armor take time. You can stop for awhile, but never go backwards in your own "independent thinking on conscience matters." Good job again. Do you feel any better about the incident now that it has had time to pass?

StillGroggy

OnTheWayOut,

great advice. I won't be caving on the conscience matters any time soon. I enjoy POV murder simulation (gaming) too much to stop now. jk.

Um, do I feel better about it? Not yet, the things she said about me really bothered me, and I feel like the issues are still there, just under the surface.

So now I just feel sick to my stomache all the time. I've also considered blowing my cover, laying out all my problems with the org. Just jumping off, you know!

Question? how do you tell her about the news stuff without telling her you got it from apostates?

OnTheWayOut

Question? how do you tell her about the news stuff without telling her you got it from apostates?

She knows I have doubts about doctrine, already. I set my email to receive Google News Alerts that have the words "Jehovah's Witnesses" in them. Mostly stuff about funerals and new KH buildings come up, occasionally something meatier. If I find something on the JWD that's news-worthy, I track it down to a non-apostate news source, then say that I got it from the Google News Alert.

This took time. I had to be receiving those News alerts for 2 months, occasionally leaving one on the printer, before she finally asked, "What's this?" The stories I was leaving were not very objectionable, so I was able to tell her about Google News Alerts. I just started mentioning them occasionally after she knew I was receiving them.

To decide to start receiving such Alerts is brave for some. I said that I wanted to know what the world is saying about JW's. This works for me because I have "doubts." You might have a harder time about it. Try just establishing that you are trying to be "more mature" and take an interest in news from the internet (news in general, not JW stuff). Then if you ever want to discuss a subject, track it down to a major news source.

Still Groggy: Double Agent's Blog #001 - "Pressure Building"

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