The Best One-liners for Witnesses

by gordon d 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Said to a witness:

    "What is the difference between someone in Christendom saying that God knows those who belong to him no matter what religion and you saying that at armageddon its up to Jehovah who will live or die depending on thier heart condition?"

    Preach, preach, preach, but ultimately it doesn't matter when the hail starts flying.

    These people are clinical.

    W.Once

  • seek2find
    seek2find

    I've used this one a few times and I'm sure I'll be using it again. It's simple. Jesus said at John 14:6 that he is "the Way the truth, and the Life" The Watchtower Society says they are the way the truth and the life.(That is in a nutshell the message of the KN37 tract). Which way is it? Do we want to follow Jesus as our Lord and Savior, or a man made orginization? seek2find

  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    ask any jw. you been a jw how long 25 years? now open up your bible and show me were jesus said he would return to kingdom power in 1914?.... trust me it can't be done. john

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Praying for God's Kingdom on earth = 1000 tsunamis & 1000 hurricane Katrinas right?

    Dismembered

  • dmouse
    dmouse

    "I'm afraid my search for the truth led me away from the Witnesses."

    "Contact me when you've got something original to say"

    " Just F@@k off!"

  • buriram
    buriram

    For me to tell anyone who was never a Dub was simple ; I give blood.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I have said "I know things you do not know, and if I were to tell you, it might shatter your faith. It's a hard thing to go through, do you want to hear what I know? The religion is not what you think it is."

    Most say "no" but I've had a few ask questions at that point. Some of them agree with me, and say they have questions too. A few have also left.

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    ""I'm afraid my search for the truth led me away from the Witnesses."-dangermouse. Well put.

    I spent many years working hard as one of Jehovahs Witnesses. At some point I needed to find out if what I had been taught was completely true. The inescapable answer was no.( said with a grave expression but with good humour. JW's assume you will be miserable now you're in the 'darkness'!)

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    A friend of my husband's asked him last Friday,

    Come, on, don't you want to save your son? The one who you talk about all the time? We're all going to be in the new system. Some of us will be maneur. Do you want your son to be maneur?

    My husband replied:

    Well, you know, there ARE other beliefs out there...

    He said you could have heard a pin drop. The guy's face was something like:

    I've been thinking about something else he could have said. Although I think what he said was great. Maybe he could have said:

    Well, I prefer to ENJOY and truly LIVE my life, rather than just EXIST like YOU do.

    Or:

    I'd rather base my decisions on reality than on the theories and speculations of a handful of old men whom I've never met and who always seem to be changing their thinking on things.

    I think any of these would have failed with this particular person. He just went to the elders and confessed that he's been cheating on his wife for 11 years with prostitutes and that he's addicted to meth. They privately reproved him because he is repentant. So now he's on this high and mighty horse trying to get my husband to dump me and go back to the meetings.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    "I'll make you the same offer I made my dad: I'll become a JW if you can show, from your Bible, that the word 'paradise' refers to the earth."

    You could easily substitute: "...that Judicial Committees are scriptural."; "...that a Christian must meet JW requirements before baptism."; "...that someone who doesn't report activity to a congregation was inactive."; "...that anyone who doesn't go to five weekly meetings is forsaking the gathering of themselves together."; ect.

    There are plenty of teachings without any Scriptural support whatsoever.

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