"Self" imo is not "given" by anyone to anybody (to whom would it be given, by the way, if the "receiver" is unseparable from the "gift"?). We are our own construction even though all the materials for it may be construed as either "given" or "simply there".
Stimulating ideas, Narkissos, as usual from you.
By way of discussion I'd share these few observations.
Studies done with identical twins separated at birth demonstrate nothing if not that we come partially pre-assembled as to our likes and dislikes and proclivities. We can modify, of course. Some of us can. But, genetically we seem to be a hand dealt as in poker. We make the most of what we have through how we "represent" our value to others and how we bet our hand. But, a pair of deuces won't beat a pair of Kings in a real showdown. It can only be won on a bluff.
Only by focusing down to an arbitrary part of a whole (an individual, a family, a country, or even the human species) can you separate and morally hierarchise "good" and "bad," "positive" and "negative,"
There are only individuals. The various combinations you reference (family, country, etc) are constructs. It requires an act of withdrawl from personal advantage to completely fit oneself into groups in a quid pro quo idealism.
As far as the "good" and the "bad" and the "positive" and the "negative", I'd say these are more practical matters than moral givens. What works for the individual will not necessarily work in a group dynamic and this is what leads to social graces such as courtesy and manners. It is a modification of immediate gratification for a strategic win over the long haul.
Self-sacrifice may well be a "loser"'s philosophy, but without any "loser" there would be no "winner".
In a Zero Sum game, you are right. But, not every game is zero sum. Tic Tac Toe and Chess can lead to a draw. Self-Help gurus advance a theory of "win-win" and in some situations this is possible. But, for the most part, the greatest social skill is in winning without pissing off and alienating the losers.
The Watchtower Society pretends that the freedom we give up as a JW is compensated fairly by the "ultimate rewards" of everlasting life in a paradise. Yet, suspiciously enough, the labor and sacrifices take place in the HERE AND NOW!
Not "everybody has to lose so that s/he may win," but "some have to lose so that others may win".
Hmmmm, there is a Third Way. In mutually assured destruction scenarios, the only way to "win" is to not play.
Abstaining from engagement is also a strategy in daily affairs with others. Not necessarily a pacifism. But, a recognition that choosing one's fights carefully is a skill well worth developing.