I can't be proud of my kids!

WANTMOMBACK

Today I went to my daughter's school and they sang "America the beautiful" and I videoed her (like most good parents would do) In the meantime my mother was watching my other child and when I got home I really wanted to share this video with her but I couldn't because I would get the same evil eye that I have come to know so well. I wish things could be normal like most families. I never get to share any joy with her. Except the day they were born. After that it is all pretty much doom and gloom.

I do have a question though!! How do most people explain to their children about why grandma and grandpa never come to their birthday party or any holiday function? The older my kids get the harder is it to avoid this question.My mom does tell my kids that Jehovah wouldn't approe of this and Jehovah wouldn't like that and my daughter is like "Who is Jehovah?" Although she has a mild understanding now. I'm not sure I want her to fully understand. My mom wants me to read her The My Book of Bible Stories but I don't think my husband would be very happy about it. I just don't know what to do. I can't teach my kids anything because I don't really have any knowledge about religion. Any advice would be appreciated

megsmomma

What I am going to do with my daughter is tell her there are many beliefs, and gramma has her own that we don't agree with. Then, since kids do seem open to religion and God, I would get your kids a non-denominational type of Bible story book....and let your mom read stories from it if she is so inclined. Their Bible story book is full of scary pictures, so I would not allow them to be scared by that. (BTW, my mom has disowned me, so she will probably never see my daughter, so I will be telling her gramma doesn't talk to us because a group of people in the society tells her she can't...and she doesn't believe the Bible like we do)

Also, try to learn as much as you can about what JW's teach, cause your kids will probably ask you some questions. Or if it comes up, ask here and someone can explain to you how to show that the doctrine is false.

Good luck with it all....I know how it feels to not really have a mom....and it is so sad.

WANTMOMBACK

Thanks for the advice I just really am at a loss for now. My mom was such a fun and non-judgmental person before she got reinstated and now that has all changed drastically!! MY kids adore my mother but they are still very young so I guess time will tell. I know it may sound silly or perhaps even selfish but I do want my mom back!! And when I am with her I don't want to hear about how great the assembly was or what a wonderful talk they gave at the hall or she has to go study because some stupid something or other. Sorry but this is the only place I can really go to rage about this! I know they don't celebrate any holidays and they make damn sure that we don't enjoy the ones that we celebrate!! but they do enjoy having baby showers and anniversary parties and weddings. I know these have pagan origins too ( well I think I know) Seems like she has one to go to every other day!!! I always feel like these people mean so much more to her than her real family. She always says what good hearted people they are and they are so kind and giving and blah,blah,blah....

Andy C

Don't sugarcoat or hide the truth from them. They will understand far more than you think.

SPAZnik

Some of the most phenomenal people I know
were raised in families religiously "divided".
They were bred to respect diversity of belief
and to represent their own perspectives.

carla

Why not just tell the kids the truth that Grandma is part of religious cult that is very dangerous? Put it in words the kid can understand. The child can certainly understand that grandma isn't 'allowed' to do certain things because some old men in Brooklyn won't let her. And yes they are mean men. No, they are not godly at all because....... and then tell the child in simple terms what the bible does say about not judging what holidays a person celebrates and so on.

Why are you leaving your kids alone with a psychopath? Why would you leave your kids with someone who will tell them that God is mad at them for having a birthday or any other holiday? Why would you want to read to your child from cult material? In no uncertain terms I would tell mom, that she is not to even bring that literature anywhere near my children if she ever wants to see them again. There are many wonderful childrens books about bible stories, just the stories, no whacko interpretations of each story.

reneeisorym

She is going to teach your kids any way she can about her cult. Make sure that you teach them the real truth before she gets them with her "troof". Hopefully, she'll grow up interested in having a relationship with God. You could do her a great service by making sure she doesn't get involved with the JWs after she starts to wonder about religious things. Maybe this is a good time to consider taking them to church? (It was just a suggestion) Then maybe the kids could talk about how much they love church and how loving everyone is. Whatever you do, I would suggest you get a non demonimational Bible story book for them so she doesn't shove hers down their throat. Renee

katiekitten

Im sorry about your situation. I have a similar one, but my mum is a bit less frowny than yours.

As far as explaining things, dont worry, kids really are excellent at accepting different peoples situations as long as its all explained properly to them and without bias.

My 9 year old daugher is completely OK with the fast that she doesnt get birthday or christmas presents from half the family because they are Jehovahs Witnesses. I dont slag them off, I just say Nana doesnt do that because shes a Jehovahs Witness. Shes fine with it, and shes perfectly happy to disuss it and tell other people. Its just an interesting fact for her. Of course I cant explain the scowls and faces like slapped arses as well, but she doesnt seem to notice that!

caligirl

That is a tought place. I'm fortunate that my parents respect my position, even if they don't agree with it.

When my son was younger, I told them that I had terrible memories of staring in horrified fascination at those bloody gory pictures and that it was not ok to read it to him. I provided other books that I approved of and made it clear that he was NOT being raised as a witness.

With my parents, I never had to draw any more line than letting them know that I am the parent and it is up to me to decide what my children look at. I know that is rare.

I hope you find a workable solution and I understand your statement about wanting your Mom back. I feel a hole every holiday season because I know that prior to my mom becoming a witness, she loved christmas and I would love to see her share that experience with her grandchildren.

Apostate Kate

Sorry for what you are going through. There is no normalcy within the ranks of Jehovah's Witnesses. I am all for telling children the truth that is age appropriate. Personally I feel that if the parents do believe in a Creator and wants to pass that information on to thier children, the most important aspect of His nature is love. God is love. Religion however is not always loving.

I would never allow Jehovah's Witnesses to care for my children, family or not. The less the child is around them the better. They are toxic people in a toxic religion.

I can't be proud of my kids!

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