OK girls, tell me what I did wrong. (page 2)

sass_my_frass

Nah you did nothing wrong, she sounds like hard work. Now you've gotta 'be careful' around her at work so you don't get sued for sexual harassment *sigh*

I guess I'm better off without such a drama queen anyway.

I agree. How was the movie?

purplesofa

It's as if she went out of her way to be cold to me.

She sounds a bit immature too.

purps

ballistic

The only thing I can think of is I told her I bought her a b-day card and that I may bring it by work on Friday. I didn't stop by though.

No no no, you didn't screw up by not dropping the card in, but the exact opposite... I would not have bought the card at all for someone you haven't started dating yet. Maybe you tried a bit too hard. Blokes seldom by cards for women around here.

Abandoned

OK, now I'm really confused. She just called me to tell me that she couldn't make it tonight. We talked for about an hour. I asked her if anything was wrong and she kind of hesitated but didn't say anything. She had group therapy last night though, so maybe they advised her to not get involved in a relationship right now or maybe they told her that if I really like her I'll wait.

I don't know what to think now. I didn't ask her out again though, and I'm not planning to at this point. I think we may have just dodged a friendship ending bullet and so I'm going to just work on the friendship thing.

I just wish I knew how much of my relationship problems were actual things that I could do better and how much are related to the "I'm a liability" attitude that I learned from the wt. Oh well, at least I'm making progress. I am definitely making progress.

Warlock

So you ask a girl out on a date. She says "yes", then she says "no", in more ways than one. You should be saying "next", as in looking for the next one.

GO ON TO THE NEXT ONE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

Warlock

Abandoned

So you ask a girl out on a date. She says "yes", then she says "no", in more ways than one. You should be saying "next", as in looking for the next one.
GO ON TO THE NEXT ONE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

Hey, thanks for that persepective. I think you're right. I don't know what's going on but maybe she's not able to deal with a relationship right now but didn't want to lose a friend. I don't know, but seeing as how this has been downshifted back to friendship, I think it needs to stay there while I follow your advice. :-)

restrangled

Here is my take....She is a user, forgot to show up a few times at work? Calls you, I assume MR. On time, always at work, ...you are kidding right?

This is not someone you want to be involved with. Forgetting to show up....it will happen to you to, including forgetting phone calls, dates, etc., MOVE ON. You deserve much better~

r.

BabaYaga

Yep, you've got a lot of folks telling you to lay off of this one... forget her (for more reasons than one.)

But, no one has mentioned the most perplexing and crappy thing about this, (that will in all probability happen when you decide not to pursue her)...as SOON as you QUIT PURSUING, SHE WILL SHOW YOU ATTENTION AGAIN. It's maddening, but it's true. It's not just gals who do this, guys do it too. Play hard to get and they wonder where you went. Agghhh. The human dances.

In the meantime, yes, seriously, consider something other than a drama queen.

All the best,
Baba.

Abandoned

Thanks for all the responses everyone. It sure feels good to not seem so alone.

I think that my intuition is agreeing with the advice here. Then there's the part of me that would like to have someone to do things with. I know that in the end I'll do what's right as I've proved that I have a lot of reason to trust my intuition when I left the jw.

Thanks again everyone.

Sunspot

I seem to have gotten in at the tale end of this discussion.....but I can't see where YOU have done anything wrong in all this! WhatEVER her problem IS...she is not willing to share it (like maybe not a good idea to be "seeing somebody" at work) and that she would rather do the cold-shoulder bit instead.

I think that pursuing this relationship would be a very bad idea from your standpoint.....she isn't even trying to be friendly or approachable! THIS is the time when people usually appear to be sweet and agreeable, not difficult and standoffish! I would say when you see her at work----to be nice and act as if nothing had ever happened.....and keep your distance from THIS one...unless she comes up and has something to offer (volunteers) in the way of explanation!

hugs,

Annie

OK girls, tell me what I did wrong.

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