Sorry, I need to vent for a moment... (page 2)

MsMcDucket

Don't despair. You're out of that religion and you still in your prime. You'll figure out what to do.

choosing life

So they stole your college education money and caused you to lose your wife. Sounds familiar. I hate how they claim to improve people's lives and stregthen families. Just the opposite in reality.

Your still young enough to go for the education if you choose And there are grants and loans to help out.You may be getting a later start than others, but the years will go by anyway. Why not spend them earning a degree. There are even many associate level programs that can land you a pretty good paying job.

And from your picture and personality, I am sure you will find the right person for you. But, I know it stinks when this cult messes with your life and doesn't ever have to pay for it.

Soledad

I have felt that same way many many MANY times but there is so much out there to do and discover. Try taking a few courses at the local community college see how that works out for you. There are a lot of people who are going back to school in their 30s 40s and 50s so it won't even phase you. Be thrilled that you have no kids and a lower income; believe me that helps when you apply for financial aid. Don't waste time comparing yourself to your peers, do what makes you feel happy and YOU set the standard for YOUR own success. Heck, why not save up as much money as you can and buy out the darn place where you work at? Imagine how that would feel!

heathen

There you go ,take some courses in chasis design and and take his job when you design something better .LOL Yah life is cruel . You'll never get back what you had but maybe you can do better , that's always the plan man.

Abandoned

Thanks MsMcDucket, choosing life, Soledad, and heathen, I appreciate your comments. My situation is actually worse than that, but what really burns me is that I have so much to clean up from that hateful group of hypocrites and yet they don't have any restrictions on them. If a doctor or lawyer were to demonstrate this type of behavior, they'd lose their license.

I'll be fine and I'll pull myself up. I've done it before. I'm gonna tell the whole story on my blog as I mentioned before and I'll get to where I was when I first moved to California. So, I've been down before and I'll get back up again, It just hit me really bad today and I guess I'm getting a little tired.

But, to show you that I do have some spunk, here's a song I wrote about a year and a half ago:

I've Been To The Bottom

I started out with nothing…I can’t go down from there.
I’ve made my share of mistakes…but I do not despair.
Without doubt, I’ll lose again…of this I am aware.
But as long as there’s a breath in me…I’ll live without a care.

Back when I had everything…what I feared most of all,
Was waking up and seeing…my presumed stature fall.
But when it all disappeared…I still was standing tall.
These fears were only in my head…losing, I wasn’t small.

Chorus:
I’ve been to the bottom…it didn’t drive me mad.
I’ve spent time at the top…then lost all that I had.
Losing’s an illusion…no reason to be sad.
Cuz I’ve been to the bottom…but the bottom’s not so bad.

I’ve seen people chase around…wanting to get more stuff.
Everything’s on plastic and…they still can’t get enough.
So they work an extra job…thinking that life’s too tough.
But it’s only greediness…that makes their hands so rough

Stressing over what we have…only robs us of joy.
Working just to amass wealth…can easily destroy.
So if you see your neighbor…holding his latest toy.
Just offer him your widest smile…and do not be annoyed.

Chorus:
I’ve been to the bottom…it didn’t drive me mad.
I’ve spent time at the top…then lost all that I had.
Losing’s an illusion…no reason to be sad.
Cuz I’ve been to the bottom…but the bottom’s not so bad.

Learning how to live with less…is worth the time it takes.
Never being satisfied…can lead to many aches.
But when things don’t go your way…don’t quit for goodness sakes.
Because each and every one of us…will make many mistakes.

Learning how to stand back up…and hold your head up high,
Isn’t easy, but it’s worth…the peace of mind it buys.
Don’t be tempted to sit down…and give in to the lie,
That failing once is a sign…that everything’s awry.

Chorus:
I’ve been to the bottom…it didn’t drive me mad.
I’ve spent time at the top…then lost all that I had.
Losing’s an illusion…no reason to be sad.
Cuz I’ve been to the bottom…but the bottom’s not so bad.

AK - Jeff

No time to comment - on my way out the door. But, I know you'll pull through this just fine.

What you are, has little to do with what you make [in terms of money]. I see a lot of real character in you. Why not start that college ed now - a class at a time? I never got the ed I wanted either - and though I made the calls, the jdub religion was the culprit too. I have thought of going back even at my age [51]. Good luck as you work through this.

Jeff

Abandoned

Thanks Jeff.

I'll make it eventually. Or I'll die trying. I sure appreciate the support though. Today was just weird because I kept running into people I knew and I felt on display and even though I know that my things don't determine my worth, I felt lower than a German Pfennig after WW1.

bernadette

Abandoned you have a gift for poetry. When we did that poem together it was such a release for me. I remember saying to my daughter -she has chronic fatigue and depression through slaving for the wts but is coming out of prison now - lets start putting our feelings down in verse, but we never got round to it. I'm gonna start today

SPAZnik

"...best friend from school was a big dopehead...(no offense to the dope heads out there)..."

LOL

BabaYaga

I don't know about you, but I went to HS in a very small town, and when I came back to live in that town later in life, it was creepy and almost unbearable. I can't STAND to run into folks I knew from my past every single time I leave the house.

Not to suggest something so drastic, but maybe a move might be in order? What have you got to lose?

Also, want to suggest an author, Barbara Sher. During a workshop, a participant said to her after a suggestion they go back to school so they could fulfill their life's dream, "do you know how old I'll be now by the time I get out of college?" Ms. Sher answered, "the same age you'll be if you don't."

She's the author of such compelling titles as, "It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now" and one of my favorites, "I Can Do Anything, If I Only Knew What it Was".

Strength to you, Darlin'. It's okay to vent, but don't let it own you.

Hugs
Baba.

Sorry, I need to vent for a moment...

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