This is the only place I don't feel ugly

by Abandoned 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Hello all. I want to thank everyone here for all the help and kind words offered to me as I adjust to having worth. I guess I have a long way to go and I guess I'm going to have to go and see a counselor like someone else suggested.

    No matter how hard I work or what I accomplish, I still feel so ugly and I'm still afraid of the stupidest things. I don't know if my fears are on par with paranoia, but they are definitely distracting and I need to get some outside assistance.

    The good news is that around here, with people who've gone through the same, I feel better. I know we're all different and still have some pretty big disagreements on some issues, but the fact that we all have the ugliest part of my life in common makes me feel like I'm going to get over all that I've been through.

    Thanks everyone.

    (lol, 100 Years by Five for Fighting just came on)

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Abandoned,

    I was just chatting with some other posters, saying how much more comfortable I felt being and know people from the board. It is nice, isnt it?

    hang in there

    purps

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    It's amazing how powerful friendships can be. I know that this forum has gotten me through some rough times. I just wish I had found all of you earlier in my healing journey. Take it a day at a time, and remember not to place unatainable goals on yourself. Little steps at first, and before you know it, you will be burning up the track and everyone else will be trying to catch up to you. We have all been through the ringer, and are more than happy to help those that are still going through it. If there is any way I can help, feel free to PM me.

    Steath

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    Aren't you suppose to be somewhere, having FUN!!!!!!!!????????

    We have all been where you are at. For me, I do still get there. Like, why on earth would someone like me, and want to be my friend?? Most of the time, I don't even like me.

    It was drilled in our minds that whatever we did, however hard we tried, it wasn't good enough, and neither were we. But now that Jehovah has been fired, we don't have to stay "in the box".

    Couseling is probably a good idea. Staying around, and talking to people that really care is important. You have to build up your self-esteem, and self-worth. Keep with your writing. You have a gift that few people have.

    Now, get to the party. DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND well, you know!! bangheadDomina

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Aren't you suppose to be somewhere, having FUN!!!!!!!!????????

    I stopped off for a mocha before the party. You can never have too much caffeine right?

    We have all been where you are at. For me, I do still get there. Like, why on earth would someone like me, and want to be my friend?? Most of the time, I don't even like me.

    Why would anyone like you? Because you care. It shows in every post you leave...

    Now, get to the party. DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND well, you know!!

    Oh, so if I don't go, you're gonna come up here? Hmmm, I guess I'll stay home then....

    Thanks purplesofa and Stealth453 for your kind comments too.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Abandoned,

    I had so many of the same feelings for many years. With the help of my husband and the wonderful longtime members of this board I have been able to let go of most of most of those horrible feelings. Somedays its a battle but for the most part I have them licked.

    Hang in there and keep posting. (You are not ugly, you are beautiful human being with much to offer)

    r.

  • juni
    juni

    Professional counseling will help Abandoned. I went through a lot of the same issues as you. I wish the best for you.

    Juni

    For example Abandoned, look at Stealth. He went from wearing diapers to this:

    Now that's confidence!

  • thecarpenter
    thecarpenter

    I am a bit of a bookworm and one books that has been tremedously helpful to me is the 'Feeling Good Handbook' by Dr David Burns. The book gets into something known as cognitive theory and has proved quite helpful in helping people get past negative, depressive thinking and anxiety. At the time when I was reading it, it helped me realize some of the distortion in my head and nudged me in the right direction. What a difference it has made in my life. Aaron Beck, who pioneered the therapy was recently given the Lasker Award. Dr David Burns, the author of the 'feeling good handbook' was a student of Aaron Beck and employs Beck techniques throughout the book. When you read it, you are going to realize how much sense it make, the type of thing that you always wish someone could told you earlier in life.

    http://www.nimh.nih.gov/about/dirupdate_lasker-beck.cfm

    here is the article below

    Aaron Beck, Founder of Cognitive Therapy, Receives Coveted Lasker Award

    Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, the founder of cognitive therapy, and a long-time NIMH grantee, was named the recipient of the prestigious Lasker Award for Clinical Medical Research on September 17, 2006. The Lasker Foundation recognizes "scientists, physicians, and public servants whose accomplishments have made major advances in the understanding, diagnosis, prevention, treatment, and even cure of many of the great crippling and killing diseases of our century." Seventy-one recipients of the Lasker Award have gone on to win the Nobel Prize for their work, most within two years of receiving the Lasker Award.

    Dr. Beck has received NIH support for more than 40 years, with a total of 13 grants, of which NIMH awarded 11. Trained as a psychiatrist and interested in neurology, Dr. Beck is perhaps most noted for developing cognitive therapy and building the evidence-base for its use in mental health. Through his work spanning more than 50 years, he managed to fundamentally change the classification and treatment of psychiatric disorders. He helped define disease characteristics and developed a vital form of psychotherapy that is used to treat a variety of illnesses, including depression, anxiety disorders, panic disorders, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, suicidal behavior, and personality disorders. Dr. Beck also helped develop 19 diagnostic scales for measuring symptom severity, including one of the most widely used scales in clinical practice and research, the Beck Depression Inventory. These scales have been critical in bringing about greater rigor in basic research as well as in clinical trials.

    In addition, Dr. Beck has published more than 500 research articles, authored or co-authored 17 books, and received numerous research awards and honors. In 1994, Dr. Beck and his daughter, Dr. Judith Beck, founded the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research near Philadelphia, a natural outgrowth of his research center at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Beck has also been named, in separate instances, one of the "Americans in history who shaped the face of American Psychiatry" 1 and one of the "five most influential psychotherapists of all time." 2

    1. Talbott, J.A. (2002). Dix Personalité Qui Ont Changé le Visage de la Psychiatric Américaine. L'Information Psychiatrique, 78(7), 667-675.

    2. The American Psychologist (July 1989)

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Aaaaaw mate! It's really good to have you here.

    FYI: (and I'm sure this isn't what you mean by 'ugly' but..) every time I read something of yours you look and talk like a guy I used to have a thing for, (and he was a real hottie).

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb
    (and he was a real hottie).

    And he is. Plus a sweetie!!

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