You aren't ugly-not in any sense of the word. I hope you do get the help you need, asap. You have all kinds of good things to do for yourself and others, and feeling ugly keeps you from the things you need to be doing. Don't have anything profound to say, but you know that people can make positive changes, you have already, and you know lots of people here, and in other parts of your life that have also. I hope that gives you some courage to go with the steps/actions you will need to take to make the progress you want to make, inside and out.
This is the only place I don't feel ugly
by Abandoned 30 Replies latest jw friends
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Sunspot
I spent YEARS feeling that I was a failure, incompetent, stupid, inadequate, dumb, never "making it" like everyone else around me, unpopular, had NO self-confidence at ALL....and extremely and desperatley sad because I didn't know HOW to solve any of this.
Now, after being OUT of the WTS and AWAY from those who had all that "brotherly LOVE" for me.....I am a new person! It has made all the difference in the world! This board and especially those I have been blessed to meet....has helped me tremendously.
You used the word "ugly", but I think that the UGLINESS is in the Watchtower Society and THAT is what had filtered down into our hearts after a while. This hideous cult creates an entire SET of new problems and anxieties that ARE the Watchtower's OWN.....unique ONLY TO CULTS!!
Hang in there.....you ARE loved and definetely NOT ugly.....with all that beauty coming from within!
hugs,
Annie
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Abandoned
Thanks for the suggestion jwfacts.
Congrats compound complex. That would be so cool.
Thanks for the advice My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW.
(((((mouthy)))))
Thanks backed away, I am feeling better today, but sometimes the negativity is so strong. Anyway, most of the time I can see the progress I've made. My outlook changes completely when I'm in a funk.
skyking, I have two questions: 1) which one is you? 2) with the name skying, do you skydive?
Wild_Thing, I think I need someone to talk to who has experience with cults. I'm gonna check it out. I'm also going to do my Daily Affirmations from now on.
cyd0099, hey buddy, I hope I get there. I'm glad you feel better. There are just so many connections that my brain makes without any effort on my part. I have a lot of unprogramming to do.
JWDaughter, thank you so much for such kind words.
Annie, I appreciate the encouragment. On an intellectual level, I know that the wt is a cult and that I was a victim of their indoctrination, but I still have moments of FEAR where the crap they taught me comes to the fore and I feel so worthless and ugly. It's a journey and I'm seeing progress so I hope to make it to where you are. :-)
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Abandoned
Aww, cbb, you have the coolest emoticons, and those lips are simply edible.
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penny2
I love going to your posts because you are so damn good looking. Many of us can't display our photos but it's so nice to see someone who does (it is your photo, isn't it?).
I still have moments of FEAR where the crap they taught me comes to the fore and I feel so worthless and ugly
That happens to me too. It's annoying. I try to immediately reject the thought that lead to the feeling.
penny2
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truthsetsonefree
Its that damn programming. As much as I'd like to think I don't think that I am worthless, and for as much as I know mentally that I am, emotionally sometimes it is a challenge. I've read Burn's and Beck's books. They talk about how one's work is not one's worth. In our cases it was our "ministry" that was our worth. Don't worry, even when you feel low, you're in good company. Its one of the scars we carry from being a JW.
tsof
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Abandoned
Thanks Penny2 and truthsetsonefree. I appreciate your comments. I guess I may never get rid of the empty feelings completely, but it makes me feel better to know that you guys understand.
Yeah, these pictures are me. I like small pictures like this, I come out better when I shrink it down from regular size.
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crazyblondeb
because you are so damn good looking
He is pretty hot, ain't he!!!!!
AB-chat kicked me out again. Call me if ya want.
Nighty!
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whyizit
Penny2 and Abandoned sittin' in a tree,
K-i-s-s-i-n-g......
Just kidding! But you really never know! Could be a long-distance love connection. I wonder how many people have met here and ended up in a long term relationship? Marriage?
That may be a good topic!
Abandoned,
You are not ugly! I've witnessed ugly many times, and YOU are NOT it!
BTW: When you look into counseling, it might be a big help to try and find someone who is familiar with mind control groups and their methods.
