Nov. 8 Awake - Wife Beaters-Sick

by MrMoe 80 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Tatiana

  This infuriates me!![>:(]

  And it's one of the main reasons I left the "so-called" truth! My jw husband became very abusive to me and my children shortly after we were married. Right before I was to be baptized, he slammed my head into the wall of our apartment. I was terrified, had no money, no family to go to. So, I called the brothers. They arranged a meeting with both of us. I thought I was going to get some help. Right!!

  They proceeded to ask him why HE was under so much stress. Why HE felt he needed to do this. Why HE felt so angry. He explained how HE was so overworked (of course my job of raising the kids and taking care of the home was meaningless and so, so EASY!), that the kids made too much noise. They were 4, 5 and 6. Kids ARE noisy! That's what they DO!

  That he wasn't making enough money. (no college) As I sat there in stunned silence, I was read the scripture that says to be in subjection to your husband and told I should be more "helpful" in our marriage.

  When the brothers left I was even more terrified. With good reason. For "calling the brothers", and putting our "business" out for all the witnesses to know, he fractured my nose. It bled for 4 hours. Then he beat the kids, because he knew I couldn't fight him.

  Well, excuse my language, but I said to myself, "Fuck THAT! Screw those brothers! Forget the baptism! They can ALL kiss my ass goodbye!"

  I filed for divorce the very next day.

  April

  "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
• 

  Thirdson

  I don't think much of the risk indicators. From what I have read previously I got the impression that domestic violence is not that uncommon among middle class, middle income families either. (From the stories I have read, perhaps not a very scientific survey, but there are plenty of abusive men among the ranks of "good" JW elders and deacons.)

  Abuse doesn't have to be violent either. What the abused need to know is abuse is not acceptable , that it is OK to seek shelter, protection and help.

  It seems to me that the WTS has about as much moral sense about wife battering as they do about child abuse.

  Thirdson

  'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'
• 

  dedalus

  5. The couple are not married, they cohabit.

  Grammatically incorrect. "Couple" is a singular noun, even though it refers to more than one individual. Therefore, it should be, "The couple is not married ..." Also, the pronoun "they," which is plural, refers back to the same singular noun.

  The boys in writing need a copy of The Elements of Style, it seems.

  Grammar aside, this is a freaking ridiculous "risk indicator." Everything I've known about domestic violence suggests to me that it settles in after marriage.

  Dedalus
• 

  Tina

  Hi Thirson,
  You're right about that list! Biggest bunch of baloney. Dom violence cuts across all economic levels. And all age groups. Marital status has nothing to do with it....Just about everything on that list is erroneous(except for the kids that witness/experience abuse,that does have an affect as does alcohol abuse)
  Actually latest research cites exposure to role models who abuse,exposure to women hating enviornments,alcohol abuse,racial class oppression,denial of love and healthy nurturing as a child.
  Some are mentally ill,and some are great manipulators and rationalizers for their behavior. They are aware of what they're doing. They actually believe themselves to be the victims of the one they abuse..with a few exceptions each abusive act can be traced to intent. It begins with objectifying the victim and the cycle takes off from there.........so much more to this issue.
  They really dont know what the hell they're talking about and they have the audacity to think they can counsel?
  WHo made up that idiot list? Does anybody to real research before they write this dreck? shakin head here,,,Tina

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."
• 

  Tina

  Hiyas Ded!
  How ya doin?
  Actually,sorry to say that isn't true.'it settles in after marriage'. Lots of stats,research that shows abusers who are violent during dating,cohabitating,continue to do so after marriage.
  I don't know if you're aware but there are a lot of education and awareness programs geared to tenns and violent relationships these days. Just my 2 cents.luv,T

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."
• 

  orbison

  greetings
  just wondering here, have any of you been a victim of spousal violence, when a jw, that brought about a jail sentence for the perpretrator???

  thanks

  wendy
• 

  Teirce

  "If she should actually depart, let her remain unmarried or else make up with her husband."

  That means the abuser can bottleneck the wife's prospects for happy marriage inside the org. She'll have to get herself fornicated, divorced, and back to good standing before she can explore another marriage. Lots of time and money.
• 

  dedalus

  Hiya Tina!

  Thanks for the correction ... I don't want to spread misinformation, and naturally I defer to your expertise here. Perhaps I've watched one too many 'Lifetime' movies with Foxy.

  I'm dead on about the grammar, though. Stick with what you know, right?

  (((tina)))

  Dedalus
• 

  Room 215

  It's another example of neurotic WT micro-management and manipulation of the flock that perpetuates their infantile, dependent state of mind -- just like they tell baptismal candidates (male) to wear non-sloganed tee shirts and (female) not to put on a two piece bathing suit.
  Can't they simply say that if a woman reacts honorably and in good consicience to a situation that she perceives to be life-threatening, nobody should judge or critcize her?
  Also your point on JW demographics vis a vis the ``out of work, underpaid, etc.'' is well taken.
  Also, the point about ``different cultural backgrounds'' is an
  interesting one. In my experience, I've seen many instances in which JW marriages break up because deep cultural differences are ignored or pooh-poohed, because ``the main thing is both are in The Truth.''
  I recall one particularly ill-suited couple-- a Puerto Rican woman married a Finn, where the cultural chasm was so wide it was almost funny-- except, of course for the agony it brought to the children of this misbegotten union.
• 

  MrMoe

  The one thing I can't fathom is saying not to encorage a woman to leave a man like this. If you knew your freinds was being hurt badly and her life was in danger, as a LOVING CHRISTIAN - wouldn't you be obligated to warn her? The article encourage (in my opinion) to stick in the marriage and work it out unless you felt your circumstances were EXTREME.

  Thank you for the quote Marvin:
  *** w64 4/15 249-50 What Holds You Back from True Worship? ***
  Real love for the family is shown by being willing to put up with disapproval, or even abuse, so that those unbelieving family members may have the best possible opportunity to learn the truths from God’s Word and come in line for the everlasting blessings that Jehovah God holds out to those who serve him.—1 Pet. 3:1-6.

  (((((Tatiana))))) - I am glad you were strong and thought for yourself. Good for you.

  FrightMare

  Women are so ridiculously stupid, especially the ones who need someone to tell them to leave an abusive relationship, and can't do it on their own. I mean, even cats are smarter than that.

  Frightmare - I am willing to bet with your mentality you are a wife beater. If not, you sure are headed that way.

  Women are so ridiculously stupid.

  - You are a the true definition of a real jackass.