by unhappy 25 Replies latest jw friends
The big mistake of my JW parents (from the WTS perspective) was that they allowed me to be friends with all the neighbourhood kids growing up. Hence,
90% of my friends were "worldly" from the get go. Fading out before even being baptized was relatively simple with all their support. Even the JW kids I was
friends with were borderline. I'm actually shocked to hear its even possible to not have non-JW friends growing up given the relatively small pool of JW kids in
most neighbourhoods.
I'm actually shocked to hear its even possible to not have non-JW friends growing up given the relatively small pool of JW kids in most neighbourhoods.
It really depends on how strict the JW parents are, and how the JW kids are being groomed. My folks were "fresh meat" and very gung-ho JWs when I was in grade school. We had to prove that we were JWs, so the JW families would accept us, which meant that we alienated ourselves from non-JWs. They really took Being No Part of the World™ quite seriously. Consequently we stuck out like sore thumbs, while the 2nd and 3rd generation JW kids were doing their best to blend in. Man, we sucked. LOL
Dear "Happyatlast"!,
I am happy at last personally, but was "unhappy" for most of my life because the spiritual paradise, where I sought refuge, was a parched and barren desert. I cannot add anything much to the wonderful suggestions here. But I can say that making yourself "indispensable" to others can be a good thing. Not with an evil, ulterior motive, of course! But like Dorcas [Tabitha], who did good deeds and was beloved. Her thought was to be kind and generous, with no expectation of reward. Likewise, with infirmities and limitations myself, I nevertheless give my all in little, manageable spurts, then collapse--but happily so. I have students whose families have made me part of their life. And I can pour out my heart with no fear of censure or worry that I'll be turned in. As already stated, just be a good listener and care about others. Some of us who are extrovertish do this by nature. Though you may be a bit shy or find difficulty breaking free of WT programming, don't give up. You will discover kindred spirits that find you "indispensable"! May you enjoy success in your new life,
CoCo
You might try www.craigslist.com if they have it in your area. There is a section under personals, strictly platonic. You can then search under w4w or m4m, whatever you are looking for. There are a lot of people out there that have just as much trouble making new friends (the older you get the harder it becomes IMHO). Anyway, there are people who have just moved to a new area and are in need of friendships just like you. I actually made friends with someone that way and we get together a couple of times a month for drinks or dinner and discuss whatever. I told her how I was raised a JW and that life outside can be difficult to adjust to at first, but it does get a lot easier. I have also met other friends through her so my circle is getting a lot bigger.
Ya have to give it a little time Lesavegas, but when I find out I will let ya know.
Outoftheorg
Hello, Don't be too hard on yourself, that can be a certain kind of hell in itself - which I think you already know! I'm glad to see you've made the decision to make your own choices in life. Well done! This is an excellent step forward... and now to answer your question: "If one would have friends, one must show self friendly! This is not merely as an idiom, or as a saying, but truth! This should not be merely preached at the entity, but practiced with the entity!" UpAndAtom
