Explain to a "Non JW", what it's like to be a JW (page 2)

jgnat

I think it helps an exiting JW to realize they are not unique in their experience. There are other abusive organizations and abusive people out there. You can describe your experience to the "outside world". I like to share little snippets of the JW wierdness to acquaintances and friends. I consider it helpful inoculation.

penny2

When you've been a JW all your life, it's hard to share with the outside world. You don't want others to think you're a total weirdo and you also don't want to be disloyal to your family and your own past. It's complicated.

penny2

OnTheWayOut

Let's not derail the subject at hand here. Let's acknowledge that jgnat and others
who were never JW's have a good understanding of it. We covered this before.

It doesn't really matter to those outside her circle whether she can explain it
as good as someone else, and we know from reading her posts that she has
made the effort to understand, because of her family situation. MOVE ON.

Everything Abandoned said, that would be my round two. Trying to explain the
teachings of what Armageddon means, what WTS teaches us about the outside
world, why JW's are obsessed with getting the word out about the end, and why
many are depressed.

becca1

It is very difficult to explain. But, in addition to what's already been said about all the things we are required and constantly reminded to do, I would add that even if you do all those things, you will not find inner peace and contentment because you are then going to be told that you are doing "enough". You will be sitting in a meeting or an assembly feeling pretty good about yoursel and your "theocratic routine"and there will be a part that makes you feel that you are not measuring up in some way. Whatever you do, it's never enough.

blondie

Can you explain to a woman what it is like to be a man? Or vice versa?

Can an adult explain to a child what it means to be an adult?

Can a sighted person explain to a person blind from birth what it means to see?

Can a person who was never sexually abused as a child explain that to a person who grew up in a safe, loving home environment?

USW

Blondie

undercover

I'd have to say it's impossible for a non - jw to fully understand what it's really like to be a jw.

Let's acknowledge that jgnat and others
who were never JW's have a good understanding of it.

I think both statements have merit. Yes, jgnat, among others, has a good understanding of what the JWs go through but at the same time, never having been one, they cannot know exactly what it is like to have been under that control.

One can have understanding and empathy for someone going through a situation that they themselves have never gone through. But even then they can never know what it's like exactly to go through that experience. Even if one is closely related to the other and sees the side effects, they're still seeing if from outside what the person going through it is going through.

I have, on occasion, tried to explain what it is like to be a JW to non-JWs, but I find that it is difficult. How do you explain all the little nuances of being a JW. Explaining certain docrtinal issues may be easy to explain, but trying to get someone to understand all the little things, and the reasons behind them, is quite difficult. You could spend hours discussing all things JW and they'll never get why we allowed this religion to have so much control over us.

If someone has a question about JWs, I usually try to pinpoint it to one or two things. Usually they've heard something about the blood issue or they ask about Xmas or the JW belief in Jesus. I'll give the JW answer with the disclaimer that I don't necessarily agree, but that's what we were taught. I don't try to go much behond that because then it becomes longwinded conversation that usually confounds them more then they were before.

OnTheWayOut

I know a JW who was a devout Catholic before the Borg. She hated that ignorant JW's
would generalize the religion when talking about Christendom. JW's commonly place
stereotypes on Catholics and get mad when people stereotype cults- by saying JW's
don't believe in Jesus or accept medical treatment.

Anyway, her approach to helping JW's to understand a doctrine or tradition of
Catholicism is to explain it, as if she was trying to convince you that it was true.
JW's do that to new recruits when explaining the doctrines. That way, they are able
to say good things about the belief, and help people to see it is not so bizarre.

The way you or I would explain JW life to a non-JW, we would not try too hard to
defend the belief. If you wanted to make sense of the doctrine, you would explain it
by stating why you ever believed it.

GoingGoingGone

My next-door neighbor invited me to an ornament-exchange party she was having for all the women in the neighborhood. I told her that I'd love to go but probably couldn't because we used to be JWs and now I wasn't, but my husband still was, and I had to be careful about what I did or I could be disfellowshipped and then every friend I'd ever had wouldn't be allowed to speak to me again... (that was the very short version, I did get into a little more detail obviously!)

At any rate, I found it really hard to explain what JWs are like, and yet not make it sound like my husband was a nut case for still being a JW! My husband is a wonderful person in so many ways, everyone really likes him. But the mind games I'm in the middle of right now, trying to live as normal a life as I can without getting DF'd, are almost impossible to explain without sounding completely strange.

GGG

love2Bworldly

One of the things I share with people when discussing the JWs and the Watchtower Society, is that one of their biggest flawed teachings, is that they basically teach that if you attend all their meetings, read all their literature, go door-to-door and fill out a report every month, and be a good little JW, MAYBE JUST MAYBE you "might be spared on the day of Jehovah".

Such a terrible, depressing, and frustrating way of life; to work so so hard for that unattainable salvation that you may or may not receive.

jgnat

I think it is worth the effort to help the uninitiated understand what the Witnesses are all about.

As undercover has described, I think it is best to present the witnesses in snippets. Only one or two features at a time.

GGG, when someone says, "That's weird!", I smile and say, "It is, isn't it?" and laugh. Chalk that up as another soul who won't touch the Witnesses with a ten foot pole.

Explain to a "Non JW", what it's like to be a JW

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