Urgent!! I am biting my nails!

by Schism 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jgnat

  Late 30s huh? I don't like the sound of that!

  Then learn from my stupidity, darnit! You can emancipate yourself at any time.

  I could tell him that. But he won't listen. If you knew him, you'd understand. He is the kind of person who will want to talk, and you can tell him you are running late, but he will totally ignore you and go on talking for an hour. It is torture.

  Listen, I have a crazy mom. I mastered the silent hang-up technique. I'd warn once, "If you don't stop I'm hanging up now." then, no matter what they say, no matter what the threat, I gently put the phone back on the cradle. I turn of the ringer, and I go to bed.

  Simple.

  When they call back the next day saying, "Don't you ever do that again!" Tell them you will - if they don't respect your BOUNDARIES. If they continue to rant, do it again.

  They will catch on.
• 

  Schism

  "You don't need to buy stuff that the tv tells you to"

  I don't get it...

  I already ignore his phone calls as it is. I was starting to feel kinda bad about it. That's what got me into this mess to start off with! If I could have just not answered when he was carrying on...
• 

  jgnat

  Besides, the thought that they probably talked for fifteen minutes or longer before realizing nobody's listening, priceless!
• 

  Scully

  Turn the ringer off. Let the answering machine / voice mail do its thing. Screen your calls. Go out for the evening. Come back when it's a tad too late to be considered polite to return phone calls. Get a good night's sleep. Call back when you know your dad will be at the KH and leave a message. Say something like:

  You know I love you, Dad, and that is never going to change. I'm not ready to go back to meetings and especially not with people I care about putting unreasonable pressure on me to do so, but I promise that you'll be the first person to know when I am.
• 

  juni

  Schism, hi. My mom read me the riot act once. She's not a JW, but a control freak.

  YOU HANG UP. Stand up for yourself. Don't accept that sort of treatment.

  Juni
• 

  Schism

  My poor man has totally given up on screening my phone calls for me. He's just no match for my dad's insanity, lol.

  LOL Jgnat, I loved that story!

  I am going to have to figure out how to grow a backbone with my parents. I don't get it. I stand up to other people, just not my parents.

  Well, I can't do it. I just won't answer.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Beat him to the punch!

  Call Him! Leave a message if you can - if not in person. Tell him this;

  Dad - I love you. I have urgent matters to deal with here in my life at the moment. I must ignore all calls, the doorbell, or efforts to reach me until I have sorted out a serious problem in my life. That is all I can say at the moment. I shall call you when I can talk. Let's both be adults here. I love you. Goodbye till I call you in a few days [weeks].

  I am a Dad. I was a controlling Watchtower robot. This is what you must do to get time between you for the moment.

  Jeff
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  This really is tough when you're dealing with a Parent. Yuck.

  As a Mom with Grown Children, I can assure you, your Dad will Survive the Shock if you just tell him like it is.
• 

  juni

  That's right Schism. Listen to us parents. I have 4 adult kids.

  Juni
• 

  Schism

  Ok, since you are parents, I am curious...

  Say you are a 100% believing JW, and the society is getting you and everyone around you excited about Armageddon coming. Then your kid tells you that he/she doesn't believe there will be an Armageddon. What would that be like for you?