Just sort of curious about this, I know it has probably been done a gazillion times but let me do it again. :)
1.Do you believe in a personal God who takes interest in you as an individual?
2.Do you believe that the Bible was written by God?
3.Do you believe the Bible is error free and is always harmonious?
4.Why do you believe these things?
Belief Poll : Please Indulge Me
by Morocco 31 Replies latest jw friends
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Morocco
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daystar
1.Do you believe in a personal God who takes interest in you as an individual?
Yes! And it's me!
2.Do you believe that the Bible was written by God?Sure! But only insomuch as my grocery list is as well.
3.Do you believe the Bible is error free and is always harmonious?No more than anything else. But then again, there are always ways around such little annoyances, aren't there?
4.Why do you believe these things?Fairly self-evident to me. But I'm always adjusting my paradigm.
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IP_SEC
No to all your questions.
May there be something else out their bigger than us? God-like in a way? Maybe, probably, I dont know.
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Confession
1.Do you believe in a personal God who takes interest in you as an individual?
I don't know, but I'd like to think so.
2.Do you believe that the Bible was written by God?I don't know, but I doubt it.
3.Do you believe the Bible is error free and is always harmonious?No.
4.Why do you believe these things?(Question1) Because any claims that he does take an interest have come to me through human beings who wildly disagree, who often demonstrate more "wishful thinking" than they do "logic and reason," and who try to shame me into agreeing with them.
(Question2) Because, while there seems to be much wisdom, there is also much inconsistency and discrepancy, which (I believe) are only refuted through "wishful thinking."
(Question3) (See above.)
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mrsjones5
I don't like polls
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avidbiblereader
My alias should tell you the first three are yes,
4) I believe there is a God for the underlying fact is that there is no way that all the things in the universe just appeared over time or in one big Bang, I believe that God who created the mind can get in contact with it and he has done so in the past; no matter how much the Bible may not be WORD FOR WORD EXACTLY RIGHT to mans pitiful efforts and continues to do speak today in His Written Word. Come on He can make the universe but He cannot write a book. I am not the judge of who he picks and chooses why nor am I saying that He talks to me in the form of voices but I have seen the wisdom of the Bible and follow it. I also cannot imagine that mankind is going to get out of this mess with the ecology, economy, terrorist and the other insurmountable problems facing mankind today. I see the prophecies being fulfilled, I for my part will serve this God who many don't think exists or has a problem with due to Witnesses destroying their faith. I do not judge you nor do I criticize you, it is a Poll, you gave your opinion and now I am going to give mine.
My wish is that when our time is done or when judgement day comes, that all of us can find peace and enjoyment as our Creator desires and will one day fulfill. To all my fellow posters, I only wish the best for all of us, no matter who is right and who is wrong. I know that I have been wrong more times in life than right, but this is where my heart and mind is at.
abr
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jayhawk1
1.Do you believe in a personal God who takes interest in you as an individual?
Yes, his name is Hank.
2.Do you believe that the Bible was written by God?Not sure.
3.Do you believe the Bible is error free and is always harmonious?Not sure.
4.Why do you believe these things?Because Karl said so.
Kiss Hank's Ass Story...
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
From the Desk of Karl
- Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
- Use alcohol in moderation.
- Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
- Eat right.
- Hank dictated this list Himself.
- The moon is made of green cheese.
- Everything Hank says is right.
- Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
- Don't use alcohol.
- Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
- Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.
Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary: She blushes.
John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary: She looks positively stricken.
John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary: She faints.
John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
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tall penguin
Thanks for the laugh jayhawk. That was hilarious.
tall penguin