by JH 22 Replies latest jw friends
You surely noticed that the JW's have an answer to everything.
Question: My dad died
JW answer: He will probably resurrect
Question: I don't feel well
Answer: In the new system everyone will feel well
Post your own set of questions and answers, JW style...
Question: Where do I find a girl?
Answer: there will be 70 virgins on every brother in the new system
ups that was for mulsims
Though jdub version is not much different lmao
If my baby doesn't have a blood transfusion , he will die
Dub answer: Taking blood is against the Governing Body's law. Your baby will be resurrected in Jehovah's new system of things.. Wait on Jehovah.
Question: I miscarried.
Answer: There will be babies in the new system.
Question: My husband beat me.
Answer: Have you been going to the meetings and setting a good example?
Question: I have such a sweet husband.
Answer: That's what happens when you marry inside Jehovah's organization.
Reply: Yeah. I only wish he would go back to the meetings.
Question: I think I might be gay.
Answer: Well quit masturbating and go out in service more.
Question: “Why shouldn't we speak to former JWs who no longer believe it's "The Truth?"
Answer: “Because they might lead you away from God’s true organization.”
Question: “But what if these ones are right?”
Answer: “They can’t be right since this is God’s true organization.”
Question: “But shouldn’t such an organization withstand honest-hearted scrutiny?”
Answer: “It’s thinking like that that has led many away from God’s true organization.”
Question: If I don't have sex now because I'm not married and if I put Jehovah first in my life and don't get married now because I rather preach and do spiritual stuff for God, and if I die, will I have sex in the new system when I ressurect?
Answer: No, you had only one chance at it for sex. Resurrected ones don't get married, so no sex in the new system for the ones who resurrect....
Me asking Elder........Ive been studying with richard for 7 months and he is still not making the meetings. Elder.......Brother, there is no use watering a dead stump!
I may lose my job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
I lost my job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
I still don't have a job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
My wife just lost her job. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
My wife and I have been out of work for 3 months and now the bank's taking the house. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
We're living out of our car. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
We're staying at a Salvation Army shelter. What does this mean?
Response: It means your prayers have been answered.
Question: I can't find anything suitable to put on, what do I do?
Answer: No worries after 1000 years there will be not need for clothes at all - that would be the only reason why I would want to be there
I've ased that so many people if after 1000 years everything is going to be restored to its original Edenic glory, does that mean we're going to be nakid ... no one knew but I could sense every guy secretly hoped lmao.
Problem: I'm depressed
Answer: Go out in service more
Problem: I might loose my job and my house
Answer: Go out in service more.
Problem: My daughter is pregnant and we don't know which biker is the daddy
Answer: Go out in service more
Problem: I really want to get married so I can feel complete and happy
Answer: Go out in service more
Problem: some of the things I hear at the meetings don't make sense to me
Answer: Go out in service more
Problem:I'm gay
Answer: Go out in service more
Problem: I have cancer, my kids hate me, I just found out I'm adopted and my dog died
Answer: Go out in service more, Go out in service more, Go out in service more, check the dog pound.
