Q: Why don't you celebrate birthdays?
A: Cuz in the Bible, if you go to a birthday party, there's a good chance someone will kill you.
Q. What's the biblical reason for not smoking?
A. "The bible says your body is a temple, and you should not defile it, now do you mind if I get back to the buffet table?, oh, don't worry, I can always get my stomach stapled when my knees give out" (mind you, I have nothing against one who enjoys food, but I know a number of people from my old hall who this absolutely applies to)
Q. p.1 Why can't you have a blood transfusion?
A. Because the bible says to abstain from blood.
Q. p.2 Doesn't that just mean don't eat it?
A. p.2 Well, If your doctor said not to drink alcohol, would you inject it into your vein?
Answer to that profound and deep "illustration"... Well, if injecting said alcohol into my vein would actually save my life, then, yeah... tard. If blood represents life, then you would think that the thing it is representing would actually be more important...oh, and the red juice coming from your steak...it ain't food coloring, dufus.