by JH 22 Replies latest jw friends
Question: How long is a generation?
JW answer: We have been struggling with that one alot. And the definition is subject to change without notice.
Question: What about the fall of 1975?
JW answer: (smirkingly) Never heard of it!
Question: Did Jerusalem really fall in 607 BCE?
JW answer: Hell if I know, they just told Ray Franz to go with 607 because it fit that 1914 formula really cool.
Question: This watchtower says the men of Sodom will be resurrected but this other one says they won't. Why?
Answer: Why are you asking such a question? Do you want them to be resurrected? If so, why? Do you have homosexual tendencies? We'll have to convene a judicial committee now.
W
LMAO Kaput!! Been there with that answer too many times.
"My worldly husband won't do ____"
Response: Continue to worship Jehovah and win him over without a word.
"So and So should be in jail right for what he did"
Response: Jehovah will handle that matter.
"I've been SO depressed lately. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry."
Response: Are you coming to the meeting tonight? We're living in the last days.
"I still don't understand how the dates 607 and 1914 came to be. Please explain."
Response: Look at the Insight to the Scriptures and you'll see the answer there.
"Ok, I did that, but still don't see a clear answer here."
60719143.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609...
TMS Stooge:Do you think you could have a word with your wife about the length of her skirt on the platform this evening?
Me: But it's just below the knee!!!!!
TMS Stooge: But it rode up when she sat down for her talk.
Me: PISS OFF YA PERVERT.
Lowden
Question: I have a few questions regarding multiple issues that I feel might suggest we dont have the Truth.
Answer: Asheron is no longer one of Jehovahs Witnesses and is to be considered evil, Let the shunning begin! Now Brother Smith will give his talk on brotherly love.
I may lose my job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
I lost my job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
I still don't have a job. What should I do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
My wife just lost her job. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
My wife and I have been out of work for 3 months and now the bank's taking the house. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
We're living out of our car. What should we do?
Response: Pray to Jehovah.
We're staying at a Salvation Army shelter. What does this mean?
Response: It means your prayers have been answered.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
LtCmd.Lore
Me: I don't think that I belong here.
Witness: That's because you don't have enough faith in Jehovah.
Me: I don't want to take my 6 month old babies out in field service.
Witness: You have to train the child in the way it should go. The sooner you start the better.
? Will armageddon come before I go to high school...............1958
Answer YES!
?Will armageddon come before I get out of High School?.......1967
Answer YES!
? Will armageddon come before I get out of Bethel?..............1971
Answer Maybe
? Will armageddon come in 1975?.......................................1974
Answer ABSOLUTLY!!!
?Will armageddon come before I have children?.....................1977
Answer We don't KNOW
?Will armageddon come before MY CHILDERN go to high school?........1981
Question :
I have acute clinical depression, and attempted suicide. Can you help me?
Answer:
Yes, attend the meetings, go out on field service. Oh! and you have to leave your home, wife and family because you are a "spiritual danger" to them.
(basically what happened to me)
