exJW Obsession and Paranoia towards the Witness Religion- Is it healthy? (page 4)

fullofdoubtnow

From some of the word choices he makes I suspect that he never has been a JW.

That's the impression I got as well. I could be wrong of course, and he could be genuine, but on the other hand he could be just another troll.

As for how long it "should" take to move on, there isn't a time limit, it's completely up to the individual and their personal circumstances. As for myself, I had no family in the org, having come in at 21 after being contacted on the ministry, so I didn't lose anything there. I lost some I had thought to be friends, but realise that tgey were conditional friends, dependent on me continuing to think in the same way as them, so nothing lost there either. I am also fortunate in that my boyfriend is an ex jw himself who has been out a lot longer than me, so my healing has been helped by that.

Apart from a few issues, I am over the wts now, but still enjoy coming here to help others complete the journey I have successfully negotiated. There were people on thius forum in the same position as I am now when I first joined here, and who were of immense help to me then. I just want to give a bit back.

Satanus

Lots of people have come and gone from here, moving on w their lives. Everyone is different. For some, the wounds last for the rest of their lives. It sucks, for sure, but s that bad?

S

Narkissos

On the first (French) xJW forum I shared in that was one of my first questions... I phrased it as cautiously as I could, yet the response was violent.

When I left JWs 20 years ago I "moved on" immediately. There was no Internet, the few xJWs I knew or met were by no means a "community," and that was simpler in a way. I missed many JW friends but I hardly thought of the WT in the next 17 years or so. In the last few years, otoh, I have enjoyed revisiting this part of my life and realised it was more important to me than I would have thought.

An Internet support group has its strong and weak points I guess. It helps a lot of people but it can also hold them back from pursuing their own path in the wider world.

It's up to everyone to trust their guts -- and trust others' ability to do the same.

Plus, you never know what is, or is not, "time lost". Next curve in life can change the perspective completely. Of all people xJWs should know that, I think.

Junction-Guy

I doubt I will ever get over it, too much of my life was torn apart, to just let them get off scott free. I will do what I can, and when I can to expose the WT CULT. They are a destructive child abusive cult and I may not ever stop them, but I will go to my grave trying.

Gregor

Junction Guy -Very well put.- I like your spirit. I don't know why some can't understand.

AuldSoul

Welcome the forum. I am guessing you either aren't much of a student of JW doctrine compared to the Bible or you have never been a JW. I would further guess that if you are a JW, not much (if any) of your family are JW. That is the only way I can imagine you coming up with your initial post.

(1) My wife, my parents, my aunts and uncles (on both sides), my cousins, my two sisters, and many that I thought were true friends are still JWs. Many are elders, pioneers, etc. Most are studious but are very limited in what they are allowed to study.

(2) 31-32 years of my life (depending on how you count it) were spent as a JW. If I am particularly lucky, 1/3 of my life. If I am moderately lucky, 1/2 of my life. If I am unlucky, 3/4 of my life. If I am especially unlucky, 99% of my life.

(3) I feel some responsibility toward those I left wasting their lives chasing an empty dream, just as I would toward someone I called a friend who was unknowingly drinking from a poisoned well. The effects of the religion are certainly detrimental, although the damage may not be detected immediately.

How can I "move on" utterly, given these realities?

You didn't offend me. I appreciate the fact that you asked instead of assuming an ignorant prejudice and moving on.

Please forgive Gregor. He's just an arrogant, undiluted, bombast. ( to Gregor)

If you have any questions about the clear doctrinal errors of the religion (the ones they don't tell new recruits), please feel free to PM me.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

undercover

(1) My wife, my parents, my aunts and uncles (on both sides), my cousins, my two sisters, and many that I thought were true friends are still JWs. Many are elders, pioneers, etc. Most are studious but are very limited in what they are allowed to study.
(2) 31-32 years of my life (depending on how you count it) were spent as a JW. If I am particularly lucky, 1/3 of my life. If I am moderately lucky, 1/2 of my life. If I am unlucky, 3/4 of my life. If I am especially unlucky, 99% of my life.
(3) I feel some responsibility toward those I left wasting their lives chasing an empty dream, just as I would toward someone I called a friend who was unknowingly drinking from a poisoned well. The effects of the religion are certainly detrimental, although the damage may not be detected immediately.
How can I "move on" utterly, given these realities?

I think that covers it pretty well why many of us can't just "move on".

I've been inside a KH three times in the last two years, no assemblies, no conventions. I haven't been in service for almost 5 years now. To the casual observer, I have completely faded away and left the JW faith.

But my family(both sides), my wife's family, all siblings and sibling-in-laws are JWs. I can't go more than a few days without some reference to Jehovah, the Society, the Kingdom Hall, field service, a Book Study, a Watchower article etc. ad nauseum being brought to my attention. In addition, I still have contact with some of the people I grew up with, all JWs.

I couldn't move on if I wanted to. The only real way to move on would be to leave my wife, have no contact with my family, distance myself from everyone I grew up with and move away somewhere where noone knows me or my past. I'm not willing to do that.

To do that would be allowing the WTS to still have control over me. They would have forced me to give up my life as it was for something new just to keep from having to deal with them. For me to stand my ground where I am and not allow them to influence me and still keep my family and friends intact is empowering to me and encourages me more to not back down nor run away.

Mysterious

Some people study insect species for 25 years is that an unhealthy obsession? Some are genuinely interested in what goes on in the watchtower still. Do you tell those who are trying to help women escape abusive relationships that they are obsessive and wasting their time? Similarly many on this site are learning effective ways to help their friends and family. What about people who after years are victimized by the latest DF'ing trends? Are they paranoid for wanting to see it coming? No. I don't think you can label a whole group, just on a case by case basis.

undercover

Some people study insect species for 25 years is that an unhealthy obsession?

LOL...Are you likening JWs to bugs?

AuldSoul

(((undercover)))

Do you tell those who are trying to help women escape abusive relationships that they are obsessive and wasting their time?

Mysterious, that was brilliantly put. I think the lack of full comprehension regarding the abusive nature of the religion, the way the religion requires total sublimation of self and humanity, is a major factor in why some can't grasp my pursuit of finding a way (or ways) to either eliminate the religion completely or render its authority so weak and ineffectual that the religion may as well not exist.

I'd be happy with either outcome.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

exJW Obsession and Paranoia towards the Witness Religion- Is it healthy?

Share this