First time for me.........."The wedding night"

new boy

I had no idea what to expect!...................As in the case of most JWs. Since Sex is strickly forbidden before marriage. At the time (1970's) kissing was even frowned at too. I was at Bethel at the time I was engaged. In our engagment of 11 months..........we had 2 dates.....The rest of the time we sat on her parents couch with them in the other room. Sometimes we would sneak a kiss............Bottom line I had no idea what to do.........sure us bethelites would take about sex all the time, most of us were 18-24 years old and horny has hell! We would say such things like........"If God created anything better then SEX he keep it for himself!" These were statements made by those who never had sex..........The reason most of the guys left before their time (we signed up for 4 years) was to get married............they just couldn't wait!......If you left before your time was up........You left in shame.......and you couldn't pioneer for 6 months!......Remember the scripture that talked about "Those who would forbid others to marry"......Well THEY DID just that.

Anyway before you left you would go to Doc Dixion (the only MD at bethel)...........for "the sex book" Some christian organization printed this sex manual....its about 60 pages long and needless to say it blasted masturation and left out oral sex and many other things completly. SOoooooo......back to the wedding night.......Since everyone here knows my real name........I can't say much.... BUT you get the idea.........Its like playing roulette....half the time the ball hits black the other time it red. Who knows it could be just one more reason.........why there so many divorces in Watchtower bible & tract society.

JWdaughter

If it makes you feel any better-everyone here has had a 'first time'. And its often, if not usually awkward. I imagine you figured it out as you went along-like the rest of us did.

I think it is funny they give you a sex book printed by some other christian organization. Sounds like something we'd get in trouble for disseminating (no pun intended!).

searching4truth

I don't think I have ever heard a pretty first time story, they are all terribly uncoordinated. And I don't think they give out that book anymore but when I was there my overseer would give the soon to be married guys a sex talk that was painful to sit through.

truthsetsonefree

I can empathize with that. My experience was also terribly botched. I didn't address it in my recent post on marriage because some might frown on premarital sex. But in my opinion it is a BIG reason why there are so many marriage problems in the religion. Sexual incompatibility, also the rush to get married to have sex. Either way its like most other things WT, old-fashioned and outmoded.

tsof

vitty

The GOOD thing about pre marrital sex is that its usually done over an amount of time.

You go on a few dates you kiss then start getting a little bit more adventurous, then after a time and its all different, hours , days weeks, even months, you go a bit further until one time it happens.

Inexperienced couples think its expected to happen on the wedding night which often leads to disaster ! Not always I know

But when you have been completely chaperoned with absolutely no time on your own to even talk about intimate things, how can anyone expect things to go smoothly

truthsetsonefree

"You go on a few dates you kiss then start getting a little bit more adventurous, then after a time and its all different, hours , days weeks, even months, you go a bit further until one time it happens."

Wow, even after fifteen years of marriage I had no idea that how it went. Gosh, something else those idiots never let me learn. Not that those old folks get much anyway.

tsof

AK - Jeff

Our first nite was not so awkward as I recall, except that it ended up being at my apartment instead of the motel we had booked.

I was a JW Janitor [or course], and had forgotten to leave the keys so that my subsititute could do the cleaning while we were on the honeymoon - so we had to turn around and go back to give him the keys. Hence the apartment that night.

Then we had to take right off the next day - other than two nights before, our 'Honeymoon' was a 5 day convention in London, Ontario. What other religious 'idiots' would do that?

Jeff

geevee

AK-Jeff....that sounds about right....spiritual things must come first!!!

sass_my_frass

Yeah I can't see the advantage of waiting until marriage, and think that doing so risks incompatibility. There's too much to learn about yourself at this time, and it changes a persons perspective. It shouldn't be just another big thing to have to deal with when starting a marriage. A marriage should be taken on when you know that you've both got everything it takes.

I waited far too long...

ButtLight

Hmmm, I guess it pays to "ride the fence" at that age, and lean toward the worldly side!

First time for me.........."The wedding night"

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