yet another email...

puck

just got this one from my mom...

MAKING THE DEVIL HAPPYDEVIL'S BEATITUDES (Happinesses) Whew...talk about the hot seat. This one will make you stop and shudder!

If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend five hours a week with their fellow Christians -- they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Witnessess who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I can use them.

3. Blessed are the touchy that stop going to the Kingdom Hall because they were ignored or accidently slighted-- they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the trouble makers -- they shall be called my children. 5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the elders' mannerisms and mistakes -- for they get nothing out of their talks.

7. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and divisions in congregations & that pleases me.

8. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit.

9. Blessed are those who can, but do not give any contributions to carry on God's work-- for they are my helpers.

10. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister-- for he shall be with me forever.

11. Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is only about other people. GULP ! and OUCH !

Narkissos

Blessed are "Babylon's professed Christians," because we can plunder their stuff shamelessly...

http://www.geocities.com/theresajkane/sentiments.html (look for Satan's beatitudes)

puck

right? these are basically the only communication i get from my parents. hmmm... why aren't i feeling more encouraged than ever?

Kaput

Gee....I wonder what "possessed" your mom to send this to you?

Narkissos

Puck,

This is sad.

I only meant to point out that it is also plagiarism.

You can also find some interesting comments about the source text here: http://headonradionetwork.com/2006/03/27/the-fundie-are-at-it-again/

Why not send the link to your mom?

Odrade

Thinking person's beatitudes

1.Blessed are those who put their energies into helping the unfortunate, for they will be accomplishing good works, not simply wearing a butt print from napping on the kingdom hall chairs 5 hours a week.

2.Blessed are those who thank those who expend themselves in honorable service, for appreciation is a small thing to give those who work hard, and lack of appreciation is one of the cruelest and most disheartening things to endure.

3.Blessed are the sensitive, for they are the keepers of kindness. They are the ones who make sure that the smaller and weaker do not become skinned and thrown about by the "shepherds."

4.Blessed are the the strongminded, (troublemakers,) for it is their challenges that maintain the integrity and prevent abuses of authority by the men in charge.

5.Blessed are the complainers, for without complaints there will be no improvement.

6.Blessed are those who strive for excellence and hold others to the same high standard, for they are the ones that provide high caliber education.

7.Blessed are those who do not turn their backs on the cruel and abusive, claiming that it is "none of their business," for they are the ones standing between predators and our children.

8.Blessed are those who are easily offended, for they teach all of us to be more compassionate, kinder and to watch what we say and what we do.

9.Blessed are those who carefully choose to give their available funds to organizations who adminster their charitable works with full disclosure to the public-for they know that their monies are being used for the hungry, sick and poor, not simply to fund real estate ventures.

10.Blessed is he who professes to love God, and hates and holds accountable his brother and sister when they abuse God's little children - for he is a true Christian.

11.Blessed are you who, when you read this, have the ability to recognize a wolf in sheep's clothing, and choose to exit an abusive organization.

jinjam

3.Blessed are the sensitive, for they are the keepers of kindness. They are the ones who make sure that the smaller and weaker do not become skinned and thrown about by the "shepherds."

i like this one

puck

narkissos -- my mother's head would explode. and then, once she got the bits back together again, she'd think the second set just doesn't apply, because "it didn't come from a witness". my mom isn't just brainwashed, she's gotten the bleach and softener in there, too.

jinjam

by the way puck!

i haven't seen my mother who is a (jw) in 4 yrs, i phoned her, because i was feeling a little down, she told me to find a witness and get a NWT, (instead of telling me that she loved me) so my point is, deep down she probably loves you, but with this religion unfortunately they don't teach you sensitivity and kindness. all the best and keep your chin up!

puck

thanks, jinjam -- it's been at least seven or eight years with my mom doing this... eventually she may get it. sorry to hear how your mom reacted to you. i know they love us, just "not what we're doing", whatever that might be. but it's still ridiculous. too bad they can't see past the religion and see us as *people*, eh?

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