Let it rip, or hold my tongue? What would you do? (page 2)

Confession

Hey Highlander. Enjoying Arizona a great deal, thanks. I spent about half what I would have in California--and got twice the house and a new pool to boot. Plus, it's almost always sunny.

Do we know each other?

avishai

Well, what would you tell afriend who's spouse was abusing them, even or especially if they were depresse? Stay with 'em and rideit out, or get the Eff outta that relationship now?

Good point, Avishai, and the idea of his being freed from the WTS is something that's enormously appealing to me. That said, I want to be especially cautious in view of his mental and emotional fragility.

Consider: For many years this friend has not been too involved in the organization--beyond meetings and occasional service. He came to grips with the idea that it was okay for him not to be a servant or even to be enrolled in the Theocratic Ministry School. My memories are that this concept of "everlasting life in a paradise" was what helped him deal with his often extreme fear of death.

While you and I feel so strongly about exposing the WTS--and recognize the harm it's doing to people--I have to be willing to admit (albeit begrudgingly) that some have been able to carve out a place in the borg that is minimally harmful to them. And if it gives hope to a person who is chronically fearful, trying to remove that hope might be less thoughtful of them--and more selfish of me.

Make any sense?

Highlander

Do we know each other?

Probably not. Been here 3.5 years and only attended meetings a few times in Buena Park, ca and then Long beach, ca before I finally quit all this non-sense.

I believe you've met up with Sandy and the others for the monthly 'get-togethers' hehe, however I've yet to attend any of them, and you are now in sunny Arizona.

You're right about the housing. I've checked out prices and it seems like a no-brainer to move there. Plus I love Arizona, very beautiful.

nonamegiven

I would talk about everything but WTS. It sounds like you guys have lots of history and lots to catch up on. The WTS will come up when its time and then I'd feel him out and tread lightly. I am also one who sufferes from depression and can tell you that WTS is at least partially responsible for my depression.

jeremiah

I would also keep mum about WT stuff during your first meeting if possible. I think it would be best just to catch up on everything and show that you would like his friendship now.

Yet, there is always that possibility that he will be curious and want to know why you are no longer attending meetings. If this happens, I wouldn't lie,...but I would be honest and explain the whole situation.

You could always start it out by saying something like,".....well,...funny thing,...remember back years ago when you showed me that info questioning the WT?"...etc.,etc.

If he doesn't bring up the WT in your first meeting then the meeting could be a good way to diminish those JW buzz words in his mind (by just being yourself and being his friend) that are cognitive of the word "apostate". I.E., "demonized", "worldly", "fallen away" etc, etc.

I think it's also good for people in his situation to see that there is life after the WT.

lonelysheep

it's also possible that his association with the WTS is contributing to his depression.

If it feels ok...How about casually asking him at what time was he happier--when he was 'out (not going to meetings)' or in?

Outaservice

Invite him over for a poolside BBQ and just still be his friend! If he brings up the JW's just calmly say what you really feel. If he dosen't want to be your friend anymore that is his loss. But maybe you also planted a seed that will grow until he is ready to listen further.

Outaservice (Who wouldn't mind seeing that pool someday myself!)

LeslieV

If indeed he is suffering from depression, and already is attending therapy, then I would say he just needs a listening ear. You know in the borg talking about fears, depression, what you really think is looked down on. If you talk to much about anykind of fears, especially death you are viewed as not being spiritual enough. You don't rely on Jeh etc. So I believe the best thing is to be supportive..tell him that you are a safe person to talk to. That whatever he says or tells you stays between the two of you, In other words just be a friend. Really if you think back to being in the cult it was hard to find "real friends." Good luck!!!

Leslie

Confession

Hey, thanks for all the advice, folks.

Outaservice, you're invited to the pool anytime you think you can get out to Phoenix. Happy to have you and the wife.

I think I'm going to be very comfortable with our "get together" tomorrow. Oops! See how quickly I slip back into that JW lingo?

Let it rip, or hold my tongue? What would you do?

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