That feeling that it could al be false how did you experience it?

by GBSJG 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  GBSJG

  When I started researching I was still convinced that JWs had the truth. So I read some critical articles by ex-JWs about certain teaching and I started to do some more research.

  At this time I have successfully faded and no longer believe anymore. But I can remember the moment when I first allowed the thought in my mind that it could all be false and not the truth. That moment was really really strange. It was a mix of pure freedom and anxiety, thinking about all the people that are misled and how could it be possible that I was misled?

  Did you have that same moment, and how did you experience it?
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  greendawn

  It was a question of getting out of the org since it was not what it claimed to be. There was no point in being part of it and assisting it to mislead more people. But as soon as you decide not to be an active JW you will be marginalised anyway, and there will be no point in staying on.
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  Mrs Smith

  It was a mix of pure freedom and anxiety, thinking about all the people that are misled and how could it be possible that I was misled?

  Exactly my feelings! I had not been to meetings for about 7 or 8 years by the time I came across all this information and yet I still felt guilty for not going back. Thank goodness I listen to my instict and didn't go back. When I find out that they did not have "the Truth" it was a huge relief. I know my husband was very angry, angry that he had been mislead from childhood and angry that his PO father doesn't see that it's all a lie.
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  avidbiblereader

  No one likes to be lied to, everyone one of us wanted to believe what we were taught and what we taught others, we wanted to believe in all this good but the sad reality is that we have been misled, lied to about organizational things, lied to about Biblical truths, lied to about our brotherhood, lied to about a lot of things. But better to know that lie and handle it than to continue in it.

  Reality is never easy, but it is what it is!!!

  abr
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  Kaput

  Same as you, GBSJG. When I found out about the UN/NGO affair, I began researching, visiting various discussion websites, and meeting up with others who felt the same. I had thought, at first, that the WBTS had apostatized. Ten months later I experienced an unusual feeling, like yours I'm guessing, where it all went *poof* and it was then I realized it was never, is not, and will never be "the truth". An exhilarating feeling of freedom swept over me, realizing that I was free from a cult.
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  found-my-way

  I concur with the above posters...at first when I was just a fader but still a believer, i felt some guilt at not going

  when I started doing more research it was like the scales were falling off of my eyes,,,,,i was soooo relieved to find that I wasnt a fool for not believing what was being written...everything I was learning just confirmed what I felt in my gut, that I was following men.

  Feels soooooooooooo GOOD to know that they are JUST men.

  I am no longer brainwashed!
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  mia_b

  i felt guilty reading all the stuff and the guilt disappeared when i saw it was unreasonable to feel the guilt cos i wasnt doing anything wrong. thats when i realised it was all mind control.
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  OnTheWayOut

  If the feeling could be put into a spray, then you could spray people with it before/after meetings.
  If there were a certain food that reproduced that feeling, you could cook alot for family and friends.
  If that feeling could be bottled, imagine inviting the friends over for a beverage.

  I remember deciding that WTS had it wrong, it was a subtle feeling that grew once I opened the
  floodgate of internet research. I didn't know a former GB member wrote a book (2 actually).
  I knew there were anti-JW sites online. I reluctantly opened freeminds.org.
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  Gayle

  I was at Bethel, cleaning,,I crammed it back down in my brain,,cleaned my assignment in record speed that day,,there were so many things that made me go "Hmmmmm",,so many pieces,,but years later before I could tie it all together, and with the help of Ray Franz's book, "Crisis of Conscience."
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  HockeyMullet

  how did you experience it?

  When me and my wife-to-be were pleading with the elders to help us deal with the hospital as our daughter needed a blood transfusion, but since we were df'd they told us we were on our own. They said jehovah had abandoned us. Thank goodness that happened. It's too painful to think what would've happened if they would've been there and "helped".