Would an apology be enough?
NO
Along as he stays away I am fine.
Would an apology be enough?
by Big Tex 33 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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crazyblondeb
Last year, I recieved an email apology, from my stepdad. What prompted it was an email I sent him. I finally figured out all the bitterness, resentment, and hatred was killing me, literally. For so many years, it has led me to addiction, many suicide attempts, alot of failed relationships, and way too many bad choices. I HAD to forgive him.
I realize that some can't do that. But for me to come to terms with myself, and start the healing, that was something I chose to do. I made it very clear to him, I will never FORGET!
I guess when I really think about it, no, it's not enough! He can't give me back what I have lost, and how it has afftected my whole life. Not just my life, the "ripple-effect" has cascaded into how I raised my daughter.
Every once in a while, I think about that day the phone will ring.....I will be informed of his death. Sometimes, I imagine joy.....sometimes I'm not so sure. For many years, he was also my dad.
But, for today.....I chose to pity him. He's lost all his kids, and grandkids.........OK, pity thing didn't last long. I'm over that feeling! WHEW!!
big tex--Even thought I hadn't posted much at lamb's roar, and silent lambs, I have followed your posts (and others). I thank you for sharing.....you have helped me alot!
shelley
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restrangled
FYI
This story was profiled by Stone Philips on Dateline about a month or two back, so it should be rerun again. Its definately worth catching if you can. The womens background and whole story was very compelling. She came from a good family and this "experience" was her introduction to sex. This happened within the first couple of weeks of her going to college. The school administration did little to help her, and while her parents wanted her to immediately withdraw from school, she decided she would not be shamed in that way.
r's hubby
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ButtLight
Wow what a long thread! ok, i will be honest and i didnt read it, I will tomarrow! Just wanted to say hi and I miss your posts! (going to bed)
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AuldSoul
Would an apology be enough?
Not for me. I would not want it. I would rather those who harmed me cast their apologies to the cosmos.
If those folks write to me they'd better not include an address.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
Frannie Banannie
The school administration did little to help her, and while her parents wanted her to immediately withdraw from school, she decided she would not be shamed in that way.
hmmmm Now that she's got a conviction of the perp, she can go back and sue the pants off the school admin in civil court, can't she?
As for the perps in my family, they're all dead and need to have their gravesites XXXXXXXX on. They cost me me credibility and a large loving family. And their attacks on me caused most of the phobias I have today.
Frannie
Frannie
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restrangled
hmmmm Now that she's got a conviction of the perp, she can go back and sue the pants off the school admin in civil court, can't she?
Frannie that's part of what made this a slam dunk. All of you posting had things happen to you at a time when things were not talked about. The accuser became the accused. It was no different for her. This happened twenty odd years ago. She had joined a sorority, and when she told all of her sorority sisters, they all were thinking....well she had too much to drink, she could have prevented/stopped it. Her parents believed her and her best friend believed her, that was it. So the interesting part is that she had enough gumption to file a formal complaint with the school and file a police report and on top of everything stay in school. The guy who did this promtly withdrew form that college two weeks later. She felt she had been slipped something, it was the same scenario as the date rape drugs....only had a beer or two, suddenly felt sick, this guy grabbed her arm and took her into his room, she passed out, she woke up and he was on top of her, she passed out again.....
So now this case is ressurected, only now it is 2006. Everything they tell women to do nowadays, she had done back then. Everything was documented. Witnesses corroberated her story. She was going to file a suit against the college if not to collect damages, then to make sure they acted responsibly from now on. Like I said it was a compeling story.
r's hubby
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Quentin
Apologies? Forgiveness? Bullshit...those things come at the end of a rope for rat bastards like that. My daughter was abused many times, over a several year period by one of my uncles. Shes thirty-three now. I have an in your face experience of what its done to her, we live it every day. Hes been dead for years, but I can't imagine what an attempted apology by him would have done to her, when even the littlest of reminders depresses for days. Am I bitter? You betcha ya. Pedophiles show no mercy in what they do, none should be shown them. They are evil. Evil cannot apologize for what it does. In my opinion Big Tex you would not benifit from an aplogy. It would have no value.
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Frannie Banannie
So now this case is ressurected, only now it is 2006. Everything they tell women to do nowadays, she had done back then. Everything was documented. Witnesses corroberated her story. She was going to file a suit against the college if not to collect damages, then to make sure they acted responsibly from now on.
Good for her, r's hubby. She's got everything she needs to win a civil action against the college, too, and to make sure they take appropriate action where the victim can benefit from it in the future, instead of adding to the victim's pain and humiliation and hiding their pusillanimous efforts to mediate the situation.
Frannie
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restrangled
One more very disturbing thing that I remember from the Dateline program.
She woke up the next morning in this mans room, lying on a couch, wrapped in a sheet that was full of blood. He was just going about his business, getting ready for class. In her words, he acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He said nothing except, "I'm going to be late for class, see you around".
r'd hubby