My boyfriend is a JW and we want to get married but I want him to get OUT

blueday

I'm am so heart broken to see my boyfriend with so many internal strugles. He is a good man, a good God fearing man and this is why it has been so difficult for him to leave the JW's religion. We love each other so much and we want to be married but he fears the consequences of marring somebody who is not a JW. I am catholic and I have showned him that in this world there are good people everywhere not just in the JW's community. It's been very hard for me to see him suffer so much and to know that I am limited in what I can do to help him because they have been very well trained not to listen to anybody who does not agree with their religious beliefs. The only thing I can do is continue to be loving supportive and to lead by example so that he may hopefully one day see the light. Any suggestions out there? anybody else dating a JW ?

sspo

The only suggestion is not to become a JW and don't marry him and be in a devided household.

Love or no love once the honeymoon is over, reality will step in and both of you will be going in

opposite direction. If you check this board there are many that have gone thru painful divorces

because of being in similar situations like yours.

I am one of them.

Chameleon

don't do it.

he'll give more importance to the borg.

SWALKER

Welcome to the board!!! As regards your situation, it's going to be a long hard road should you decide to stay in the relationship. Is he thinking of leaving? Does he have family members that are JW's? Do you hope to have children together, and if so are they going to be raised as JW's? Are you prepared to be shunned by the JW's and family members?

Those are just a few of the situations you will have to address...

Swalker

helncon

Welcome to the forum Blueday,

I married an unbeliever many many years ago when i was still a very active JW, yes i was counseled by the elders about having an unbelieving partner and how hard it will be and that by the scriptures that you shouldn't be unevenly yolked and all that goes with it. He supported me in what ever way and it was great he let me do what i felt within the JW and i eventually left on my own free will and have felt so much better for it. We decided that when we have children that they were not going to be brought up as JW but will know about them and when they were old enough to decide which religion they chose was fine with us. We also celebrate all holidays. It will be a hard long struggle if he is truely into the JW. All i can suggest is for you to just be supportive in what he does as in time he will decide what he wants to do. Have a deep and meaningful talk with him and find out what he wants over the next 5 years and does this fit in your plan as well talk about the future what about children how will you both bring them up, will they celebrate the holidays or will he be a bystander and let you and the kids celebrate? Helen

MinisterAmos

Your marriage will have the same chance as a Russian Roulette player that loads all six chambers.

You probably don't know it (even your beau might not) but the ONLY doctrinal reason for a practicing Dub to get married is to advance his ministry. Again, I'm just quoting JW doctrine and not what "liberal" JWs might want to believe.

You will not be first in his life (Jehovah), not even second (his Ministry), third (the Slave and Elders) and actually not even fourth because he will be encouraged to "reach out" which means 20 hours per week for the congregation after including all the responsibilities he will be shamed into taking on.

So if fifth is OK for you, have at it. If not make him DF for real before you get involved or you'll beeeee sorrrrrrry!

ESTEE

Soooo sorry to hear your predicament. It may be harder when the man is the jw and the woman is not. Your man might forever after think you have to be the submissive one and do everything he says---on command. That is downright abusive.

You and he may wish to both take some therapy together and talk about all the concerns both of you have about this "mixed" relationship.

Good luck, dear one. Keep us posted!

ESTEE

jgnat

I married a JW, eyes wide open. One of the reasons I took the risk is that we had both decided NOT to have children together. Raising children in a divided household would be TOO much. Do you intend to have children with this man? How long are you willing to wait for him to resolve his inner conflict?

By the way, he will NOT be disfellowshipped for marrying a non-Witness. He will be "marked", however, and lose "status" at the hall. THAT is the consequences he is facing. It would be a good mark of his character and the depth of his love to risk his REPUTATION for you. After all, you will be giving up a lot to be with him. You may suffer the acrimony of JW relatives. You may be home alone for extended periods while he takes care of his Witness duties. You will suffer the alternately "hot" and "cold" attention of the biddies at the hall.

MinisterAmos

What she said, especially about the kids.

Don't do it.

jschwehm

Hi

Perhaps we can help. Here is our website www.catholicxjw.com

Email me at [email protected]

Jeff Schwehm

My boyfriend is a JW and we want to get married but I want him to get OUT

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