Do you ever just feel like crying?

Bumble Bee

Tonite was one of those nights. The stress of the last month or so just finally got to me. I had a trying day at work today. Today is my 16th wedding anniversary, yesterday was the day my father passed away suddenly 4 years ago.

Just over a month ago I wasn't sure I'd be celebrating this anniversary at all, not that we really are anyways. My husband had left for several days and I had no idea where he even was. Due to the stress of that time I ended up with a virus. I'm feeling better, but it will be with me for atleast another two months according to the dr.

I've been really trying to work on our relationship. I went all out for this anniversary and picked out a gift I knew he'd really love - a 4 burner stainless steel bbq with rotisserie and back burner, and a side burner. He likes to think of himself as king of the grill and now I thought he'd have the grill to go with the title.

When I got home from work I have to say I was dissappointed. I don't ask for much, and I really didn't care if I got a gift or not but I was hoping for atleast a card, maybe some flowers. What did I come home to? Nada, zip, zilch. This isn't the first time it's happened either, so I don't know why I was so dissappointed.

Needless to say that was the final drop in th bucket. I just went into the bathroom, closed the door and cried. I'm still teary. My husband is upset and feels guilty that he didn't get me a card or anything, and apologized, but I don't know if it's enough anymore.

I don't think I want a divorce (you know being raised with the whole "Jehovah hates a divorcing" thing), and I do love him, but it takes two to make a marriage work, and I'm getting tired of trying to hold things together.

Am I just being overly sensitive?

BB

Abandoned

((((((((((Bumble Bee))))))))))

UnConfused

I'm sorry BB. Yes it takes two and sometimes both don't start the rework at the same time. Sometimes I get stuff in my eye, but I'm not crying and I feel better when I get the stuff out of my eye - but again not because I was crying.

You obviously care and when you stop caring the crying will stop -- that I can assure you.

I'm rooting for you.

bikerchic

don't think I want a divorce (you know being raised with the whole "Jehovah hates a divorcing" thing), and I do love him, but it takes two to make a marriage work, and I'm getting tired of trying to hold things together.
Am I just being overly sensitive?

((((((BB)))))))

Nah I don't think you're being over sensitive I and I dare say most women would have felt the same way. All I can say is next anniversary don't expect anything from him and don't give anything to him. Maybe he'll surprise you with a little something, maybe not. Some guys are just totally clueless and you can spend a whole lot of years trying to clue them in or just get on with it and know that you don't have one of those sentimental kinda women pleasing type of guys. You probably knew that he was this way before you married him, he hasn't changed it's just all the extra effort you've put into the marriage lately you expected some kind of acknowledgement, romantic but not practical.

Hard pill to swallow but to end a marriage just because he's not exactly what you wish is fool hearty IMHO. Times like these I tend to buy myself my own gifts.........let your imagination run wild and buy yourself something wonderful and enjoy it, it always makes me grin when I do this and I enjoy what I get for myself a lot longer. Weird I know but it works for me. Besides smiling like that will make hubby wonder what yer up to.

Happy anniversary!

Frannie Banannie

((((((((BB)))))))) Give him a little time now, chere. As you say, he's feelin' guilty and upset now because he didn't even remember your anniversary. After all, he's been gone for a few days and had a lot of other shtuff on his mind. This, too, shall pass. I'm sure he wants to make amends. Especially with that fandangtastic BBQ grill you got for him, sweetie!

Frannie

bikerchic

LOL @ Frannie!

I'm sure he wants to make amends. Especially with that fandangtastic BBQ grill you got for him, sweetie!

Yeah maybe he'll cook her a fantastic dinner with it.......hey BB go buy expensive ingredients and sweetly point him the to grill!

J-ex-W

Noooo, Honey!! You're NOT being overly sensitive...you're dealing with a situation that would be sensitive for anyone!!! (Sorry about your dad, too....my dad died one year ago, two days days ago, so I know your pain.) You're the only who can say how much or what pain you can or should handle in terms of disappointment or hurt or frustration in relation to your marriage.

What the WTS neglects to mention is that, that whole chapter surrounding the "Jehovah hates a divorcing" scripture is all about his hating the attitudes of violent men toward their wives. Read the chapter for yourself. Decide where you're really at with your feelings on your situation, without WTS agenda beclouding things. (Isn't if Malachai Ch. 2, or something?)

(((((((((((((( bumblebee ))))))))))))))))))

Q. Bert

Hugs and massages are always good for the spirits. It's amazing how open people can get with each other doing the free, little things like that. Whatever it takes. Fun stuff. Remember the days when the pressures weren't there. They don't have to be there if we give ourselves a time out for the ones we love.

Finally-Free

Sorry you had a crappy day, and I hope your husband does something to make up for it.

I never forgot anniversaries - probably because it was the only thing we celebrated as JWs. I was raised a Catholic, and I missed all the celebrations during my stint as a JW, so I looked forward to anniversaries. We'd usually go out to a nice restaurant, or take a weekend trip. My now-ex used to ask me to buy her a blender for our anniversary, but I thought we could buy a blender any time. I preferred to get something more personal for her, like jewellery, cameras, and other things she was interested in. After several years of her bugging me to get her a blender I finally gave in and got her one. She wasted no time telling all her friends at the hall what I bought her, and they all thought I was a jerk. So it looks like I gave her what she really wanted - an opportunity to run me down.

W

Gregor

Men and women are different.

Do you ever just feel like crying?

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