by Bumble Bee 29 Replies latest jw friends
I'd say, when the idea of a blender first come up would have been the best time to get it. Then by the time the anniversary rolls around, there have been a few chances to give. Things might have blown over better that way.
At least, now, if you get into a relationship for keeps, make sure she's got a blender already then just blend in.
Poor little bumble bee. You made me feel like crying for you. I don't know what to say. I hope things get better for you and for him. Hugs!
BB, I know your pain. I truly know it and have lived it. I am sorry you are hurting. Sometimes men just don't think those days are so special to us. I don't understand the 'why' of it all or if it even is just men. Maybe it's just people in general that can be pretty thoughtless and insensitive.
Have you tried marriage counceling? Maybe a romantic weekend getaway where just the 2 of you can escape and work on just the 2 of you? Sometimes life gets in the way and a relationship can get stale...quick. 16 yrs is a long time (I'm there too) and we can look at our spouse and wonder who they are.
Kidnap him for a romantic weekend and get to know one another again without the pressures of work and everday life.
For men it's always sex. For women....it's soooooo much more than that...
It sounds like you two are not on the same page on expectations. But you are down with a virus right now, and properly smarting from the slight. Would you mind revisiting this subject in a month, PM me or whatever, and I'll give some tips on how to set him right?
((((Bumble Bee))))
Yes. I do. Every time I see my wife leave for another cult indictrination session or mandatory volunteer propaganda campaign.
Him not giving you anything for your Anniversary doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It does mean that he is a fairly thoughtless and inconsiderate man. Perhaps there are some utensils that came with the grill which could be used to prod him into being more thoughtful in the future?
Hugs,
AuldSoul
(((((((((((((Bumble bee)))))))))))))))))))
I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. Sorry that you had a rough night. I really think that you need to express the same thoughts from your post to your husband, so he understands why you are upset--not just that he didn't buy a gift, but that you are trying to put extra effort into the marriage and feel that you are doing it alone. Had you two discussed doing something special on your anniversary at all before the day? This is a good way to gently remind spouses how important the date is to you both.
I have to confess that there have been times when we were so busy that we didn't cards or dinner. It just didn't feel right! Sure, we are to try and express our love to each other every day, but it places a value on the marriage to remember the anniversary date.
I hope that you can turn this incident around into an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, and opening up to each other in a loving way could do this.
TS
he's been gone for a few days
Oh my dear ,dear, BB....Here I am just finishing of your gift of Jelly jam to me. & your in turmoil..You must remember he is in a mind altering place. Not attending the K H. & feeling guilty about it. Remember when you want to have a crying day.... I have a spare bedroom, you can escape too. My advice to you is ( I know your not going to like it) is Show him the book I gave you ....tell him that could he read it with you?Let your guard down...Tell him the doubts about your faith... Treat him as the one needing the attention. Because you are able to unwind on here he cant. He is disallusioned with life. becareful darling,Your too beautiful a human being ( having met you twice) to spend to much time crying but remember Psalms 126.verse 6 & dry those tears come & stay with Granny for a cuddle. (((((HUG)))
Thank you all so much for your kind words and hugs. It really does mean alot to me!!
I don't want to give the wrong impression about my hubby, he really is a wonderful guy. He wasn't always like this, and one of the things that first attracted me to him was his kindness and generosity (that and his great butt!!). He is always helping people and doing things for others.
He has got me some really nice anniversary presents in the past and totally shocked me with what he's gotten me. He asked me what I wanted this year, and I told him there really was nothing I wanted, except to be with him, especially after what we'd just been through. I guess I should have told him flowers and a card would be nice - he took the nothing part too seriously!! lol Plus I'm still waiting for my bd present from December. (I asked for a concrete bird bath with a heater in it so the birds can have a bath in the winter - they can have their own little hot tub party in the backyard!!)
We did discuss our anniversary earlier. I know that he forgets this day sometimes! For a few years I used to get my mom to call him and remind him a couple of days before, and then the day of!! lol I had told him about the bbq I planned to get, so he knew what he was getting.
It's been a rough few years, this way I'm feeling isn't just because of one forgotten anniversary, and we have had some pretty serious discussions. But things just don't seem to change.
Grace, thank you so much for the offer!! It's nice to know that I have somewhere to go if I need to chill for a couple of days! I've got more jelly if you want more when you are finished that one!! I have to make room for this year's batch. It'll soon be strawberry picking time! (Can't wait). As for discussing the book with him - I have my reservations about that right now. Religion is one subject that really makes things worse between us, but I'll keep my eyes open for the right opportunity.
We're meeting some friends for dinner tonite, so I need to dry my tears and stop the pity party!! lol
Thanks again guys!!
BB
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG A BIG ONE)))))))))))))))))
FF - just to let you know - I asked for a blender once, and got it. I love the thing!! Hubby loves it too because I make him milkshakes with it.
BB
