Former Elders, have you ever thought about or attempted to contact anyone that have been disfellowshipped by your involvement in the J.C.? Have you...
No - I have not but hope I have the courage to do so one day
For All Former Elders
by Yizuman 43 Replies latest jw friends
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stillajwexelder
- (1)apologized to them for causing what may have been heartaches and pain as well as possibily caused family breakups?
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nvrgnbk
(((((found-my-way)))))))
You just made my week! I hope any potential highjacking charges against you are dropped.
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voltaire
You make several interesting assumptions about those who have been DFed. Those who post here are probably not typical x-jws. Many, perhaps most, here believe that the Watchtower is a controlling group, even a cult and that any and all discipline meted out is abusive or harsh. On the other hand, many who have been DFed may agree with the reasons for the judicial action. They may honestly feel they disobeyed God and that only by accepting their punishment with humility can they please him. Ironically, some, probably most of those reinstated, would shun those of us who served on their JC but who are now DFed ourselves, or have faded.
You also seem to imply, though it may only be my inference, that all judicial action is unfair or inappropriate. Obviously, no elder will appologize for DFing anyone who murdered, molested children( an accused molester from our hall was DFed in another hall with evidence from our elder body)or others who really harmed another person.
In my personal case, I have appologized to noone, though I would if I knew where one in particular now lives.
An interesting aside. We once disfellowshipped a woman who had associated many years before. None of us knew who she was, but we got a report from another oldtimer that she was smoking. She refused to meet (I believe an elder talked to her on the phone, I don't recall how we communicated with her, but I know I never met her or ever had any idea who she was)so we disfellowshipped her in absentia, as they say. I will never know who she was! I live in another state, and could never get access to records from the hall anyway. I won't be apologizing anytime soon. Given her nonchalant attitude, I doubt she cares!(And I say good for her!!!)
Interesting question, nonehtheless,
Ron
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juni
Hi Yiz.
Can you imagine how many ex-elders who sat on these committees feel? Being that I sat in on my 16 yr. old son's mtg., I can tell you that for some elders they seem to get pleasure out of lording it over and being God's judge and others are in pain. You can see it on their faces. It is something that is forever locked in my memory Yiz. One former elder who was part of the judicial committee sunk into a clinical depression. He stepped down. He was not himself. I would go up to him as he sat there talking w/his little grandson and touch his shoulder and smile. He wouldn't talk, but I would goof around w/his little buddy and this brother would smile. He was/is a wonderful person; he moved so I have no idea how he is faring today.
This Topic sounds very familiar. You might want to Google it to get more answers.
Juni~~~~~~~~
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sass_my_frass
I wondered a similar thing recently; what would be my reaction if that cold day in hell arrived and one of my committee apologised to me:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/126403/1.ashx
OnTheWayOut: I agree, there are people whose lives would be worse if they left JWs; and not just worse for a while and eventually enormously better like ours, but just plain bad. My brother; baby elder ex-bethelite type, married to perfect daughter of elder and pioneer, the whole family is utterly devoted. I'd never want to share with him the info required to free a JWs mind because even though he would be free, he'd also lose his marriage and his children. Anyway he did the bethel thing, and as far as I know he has seen the worst of it, but thinks that's as good as it gets. People are in fact responsible for the choices they make. Anybody out of their teens has control over where theirs take their lives. People may be influenced by others in their choices, but if they hand over the decision-making to somebody who seems to know what they're talking about, they're still responsible for the results. And some of them are in fact happy. Leave them all to it.
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Frannie Banannie
Hi, yall. I just popped in here, cause I'm nosy.....and because I want to add my 2 cents.
I want to apologize to any here on JWD who are presently elders who're questioning WTS policies, etc. and to any former elders, if you've taken any of my "slamming elders" posts personally.
My words are directed towards those in the WTS in positions of authority who wield their authority with relish and with cruelty, harming many and without remorse.
Sincerely,
Frannie
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zarco
How dare the former elders on this forum to try to explain away the reason they Df'd someone. This is not a spiritual teaching, it is not a loving arrangement, do not explain your self rather reach out to those you have harmed and apologize. The healing is not about you it is about those you harmed.
zarco
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zarco
Fortunately for me all the other DF'ings I was involved with were cut and dried folks who wanted out. Do the folks you DF'd feel the same way, do you know that? I am completely amazed that the former elders on this forum did not follow their conscience. What kind of people are you?
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zarco
In all seriousness this thread should be about the apology and response not about the reasons for action or the self justification
zarco
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AlmostAtheist
>>How dare the former elders on this forum to try to explain away the reason they Df'd someone.
Dude, they were as brainwashed as the folks being interrogated. It's hardly fair to come after them now for something they did while mindless drones. Even if they were in the process of exiting at the time, there were many issues on the table, only one of which was the rightfulness of the DF'ing process.
Dave