I need your advice (page 2)

Vidiot

"I have a 'friend' who really likes this girl...."

Sorry, couldn't resist.

The Searcher

We (me & wife) just recently became inactive.

My prepared answer if asked to take a shepherding call - "Thanks for asking, but not at the moment, thanks. When I'm ready, I'll let you know. I really appreciate your motives."

They can't dis-fellowship people because they won't talk them!

So tell your friend NOT TO TALK TO THEM!!! UNDER ANY CIRMSTANCES.

No information - no disciplinary action!

Your friend can only hang himself by talking with them!

sir82

Nothing good ever came of a meeting set up by 2 or more elders.

Tell him to skip it.

Can your friend play the stress/anxiety/depression card? That's been working for me for nearly four years. I stalled the first three attempts to meet with my two-elder JW hit squad. They just showed up at my door at random times when the weather was bad, so I stepped out on the porch to chat ever so briefly with them about their families, etc. I haven't heard from them since they dropped off my copy of the RNWT. The last time they were working the street I was home, and no one came to my door. Don't give them any ammunition. If you don't meet with them, the next move could be an "invitation" to a JC. Delay the meeting and don't talk about anything of substance. KISS.

cappytan

Tell him/her not to meet with the elders.

They will ask probing questions that will either have to be answered with a lie, or, if answered truthfully, will either result in a disassociation or the forming of judicial committee inquisition for apostasy.

If your friend does not want to be a JW anymore, the best course of action is to just ignore them.

cookiemaster

Thank you so much everyone for your advice! It's quite helpful. About the meeting with the elders. They asked if they could meet with him. He said they could come to his apartment on Saturday at 7 PM, and they agreed. It doesn't sound like a judicial meeting.

He was seen a few months ago in town with his worldly girlfriend, holding her hand. If my mother, who lives 160 km (100 miles) away from where he lives, heard the rumors, the elders probably have too. Still, I don't think it's likely this is a judicial meeting just yet. As far as I know, it's not a sin to hold a girl's hand. Anyway, he's the kind of guy who likes to be honest about stuff. He just tells things like they are, but in this case I don't think it's the best course of action.

They recently had the CO's visit, so the elders probably want to visit him because the CO gave them a hard time about not visiting him. It's funny because three elders live in the neighboring apartment buildings, and they did make any visit for a long time. Now, all of the sudden they want to visit. Since he lives in a city with something like 15 congregations, and JW's are on every corner, I don't think getting disfellowshipped unnecessarily would be a good option. Seeing how he's not fond of lying nor is he any good at it, per the advice given by most of you, I think the best option is to just avoid meeting them. That way, there's nothing they can do.

stuckinarut2

Great advice!
Take it from me...DO NOT meet with two elders!

It will ONLY GO BADLY!

They will twist the "chat" to back you into a corner, until you suddenly are left with no way out...stresses will rise, tensions will elevate and you will end up looking like the silly one...

DO NOT AGREE TO MEETING WITH THEM!

You have the right to make your own choices. Do not feel railroaded into such a "meeting"!

DesirousOfChange

Marvin is right. You don't make clear if this meeting is just a shepherding call or if it's an official judicial meeting. From what you have shared it does not seem likely that it is a judicial matter. Typically they will only conduct a judicial meeting at the Kingdom Hall.

If he is certain it is only a shepherding call, he should definitely cancel -- politely. Depression. Personal problems. I don't want to discuss it with anyone now. Thanks for the offer, but not now. Maybe later when I'm feeling better. Etc.

IMO it's just f***ing stupid to "play by their rules" and DA or give them the ammunition to DF. Leave them hangin'. Taking the power away from them frustrates their desire for power and undermines their belief that Jehovah is directly using them to clean up the Congregation and resolve these devious wicked rebel problems

Doc.

Village Idiot

I must emphasize what sir82 and stuckinarut2 said about the danger of meeting with two elders. My personal experience proves that true. In my case two elders quickly became three.

millie210

Yes, two elders can be an investigative step.

It may be "just" a shepherding call but the best answer is the same either way.

Just dont.

I need your advice