New Job, kids, the truth

purplesofa

This is the second week at my new job. It is very boring. I feel so sad and depressed for losing the other job. I feel like I am being punished. After being so active with the other job, sitting all day is torturous.

My daughter wrecked my car last week. As some of you know she is bi-polar and dealing with drug and alcohol addiction. She applied for disability and recieved it on first application, which is very unusual. She went a full 60 days clean this time and went biserk last week.

I told my kids that I would only pay the rent this last month and then I was moving. they would have to take care of themselves. Three adult children live with me ...ages 28, 20 and 19. I have taken the full responsibility for them and I am tired. I can't remember feeling so much pain as telling them yesterday that this was my decision.

I feel like I am dealing more with reality and want to hide in the truth. Go to the meetings and have that false feeling of okness. I know its crazy, but life is crashing in and changing and will never be the same as I ever knew it before.

my job is differnt, my home life is different, and my religion is diffenent

Narkissos

((((purps))))

Hope a warm sunbeam reaches you and fills you will all the "okness" you need.

tall penguin

I read this and didn't know what to say. So I left the thread hoping someone else wiser might come along. No such luck so I guess you'll have to hear the words of this fool who really feels for you but has no wisdom to offer.

(((purps)))

You've got a lot on your plate right now. I can imagine it has taken much torturous thought to come to the decision to move out and live your kids to lead their own way. And I can understand how it feels to long for the community that we had as jw's. As problem-ridden as it was, the illusion of all those "loving" people was comforting wasn't it? I have my moments where I wish I could jump back in the bubble and pretend. As I'm sure you do, I realize that it would only be a quick fix and our freed minds would never again be able to be shackled.

Know that there are many people here who care for you and have become your community. I know it's not quite the same as being around people in person, but at least here, it is consistent and unconditional.

Take care and let us know how you're doing.

tall penguin

needproof

Hi,

so sorry to learn of your current situation. It just goes to show that you never know what is going on in another poster's life. We all have disagreements on these boards and tend to forget what else the other poster is going through.

You seem to be dealing with a lot of shit right now and there is no shame in being tired of that. I can fully understand your feelings about the Witnesses, and the ignorance is bliss routine. Because ignorance is bliss. If I had the chance to re-live the situation I found myself in then I would have hoped never to learn of the other side, and the exposer of WT lies. I often think that. Wouldn't it be nice to just live for a new life, in the new system, everybody lives happily ever after? Well, we have reached the point of no return. If you go back, you will just feel more empty still.

I look around sometimes I wonder what I have to look forward to, and, like you, it is the hope of something better, something greater in life; this hope drives us and helps us get through life. You are not being punished for anything, you have just been the victim of real bad luck in life. It's easy for me to say that there are people in far worse situations but this doesn't help you right now; but moving away from your troubles at home is a good start, you owe it to yourself. This day will pass.

I hope everything works out for you

ex-nj-jw

((((((((((((((((((((purps)))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.

Hang on with the job and look for something better, at least you will have an income while pursuing other options.

Kids - well they are all grown up and maybe it's time for them to pull their own weight. At this age they should be helping you out when needed. So don't feel bad that you are kicking them out of the nest, it's in their best interest that you do it now versus later.

nj

DJK

I agree with ex-jw. When I was 16, I got a job part time and started paying rent to my parents. It was a small amount of money that contributed little to the home. But it was an education for the real world.

Life for a lot of people, including myself has had it's crashing moments. In time we come out of it better than we were before. I expect that to happen to me again soon and I am prepared to face it head on. I wont let it get me down.

DJK

As for your daughter and the car, the car is replacable. As a parent I'm sure you were a good one. My son, who is 29, developed a gambling problem and was told by his wife this past week she want's a divorce because of it. I was never a gambler and I don't feel guilty in any way because he didn't learn it from me. Point is we do the best we can as a parent and our children often screw thing's up on their own.

crazyblondeb

Purps just called me. She wanted everyone to know the reason she stopped typing on this thread mid-sentence is because she's at work. She'll finish it later!!

juni

(((purps)))

Change is scary purps. Seems to me though that you are being brave and doing what needs to be done. It does hurt when our children don't get w/it and be responsible. For their own good in life they need to realize there are consequences for their decisions. You've worked hard to help them. There comes a time when one has to let them figure it out for themselves if they keep rejecting our help.

About being in the organization. In some ways, it was easier cause your life was "planned" out for you. It's scary when you have to think for yourself and not have a set of hard and fast rules to follow.

I'm thinking of you sweet purps. Stay strong......and take care of yourself. By doing that you will be of benefit to your kids when they come to you. But they have to start taking care of themselves. It's too easy to lean on Mom. I always thought of mama bear. When it was time for the babies to leave the den and they balked about it - she'd give them a swift swat out of the den. Tough love? Maybe.

Peace to you,

Juni

After reading OUTLAW's reply to you I have to agree. When my kids left home FOR GOOD cause there was some yo - yoing going on for awhile, I felt the empty nest syndrome. Really shitty. Didn't know what to do w/myself. So many years of a lot of hard work - physically and mentally raising kids. Their friends coming and going and staying overnight and eating dinner w/us. So much going on. And then quiet. No more doors slamming shut, no goofiness, no more stinky bedrooms from old food shoved under the bed..... you know what I mean. It is a huge change, but give yourself time purps. You will come to enjoy the time you have to do what you want to do when you want to do it.

You are starting down the road of a new life for yourself. You'll come to enjoy it - trust me. But it is scary because it's something new. That will change.

OUTLAW

Purps..Good things don`t come easy..Guess what?..You get to have a life now..It won`t be the same as it was..It never is..Now you get to do what ever you want..Think about it and enjoy your new freedom...OUTLAW

New Job, kids, the truth

Share this