A friend of mine that was at Bethel when the "change" came out about the "generation of 1914" in 1995 wants to "disassociate" himself but is terrified that his family especially his mother(who is of the annoited) will totally shun him. His whole family are JW's his uncle an elder, his sisters pioneers, etc; Any advice I could give him? I know what it is like since my mom has been a devout JW's since 1967.
A former "Bethelite" JW's friend of mine wants to "Disassociate".
by booker-t 21 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
AuldSoul
The JWs in my family go back four generations on both sides. I can empathize mightily with your friend. Since I disassociated myself all of my family shuns me save one DFd brother.
Get him to post/read here.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
avidbiblereader
I agree with AuldSoul, get him to post here and see what might be his best options, I would encourage him to fade and save all the hurt of DFing or DAing
abr
-
TheListener
I encourage the fade in a case like this. It worked for me....so far....
-
dawg
On those of you that urge a fade.. I can understand where you come from but man show some courage... how many more will be hurt by this religion if we don't stand up and attack their foolishness openly and honestly not just on some web site where folks don't know who we all are. My goodness fellas, the JWs ARE wrong after all and they've destroyed thousands of families. Let's all resolve to stand up to the evil that is and then we may see those fence sitter join us; the journy of a thousand miles starts witht the first step.
-
Black Sheep
If he wishes to retain his family relationships he has to take them out with him.
He cannot do this if he seen as 'weak in the faith'.
It is a tightrope walk. Difficult, but not impossible.
Cheers
Chris
-
unique1
If he is prepared for the hurt caused by shunning then by all means disassociate. But if he isn't sure if he can handle it, fade.
-
greendawn
As other posters said under these conditions fading is the best option for him, the best way is to begin reconnecting with the non JW world while fading to adjust to the new mentality and so that at some future stage when he leaves the dubs he will have friends to associate with.
-
undercover
On those of you that urge a fade.. I can understand where you come from but man show some courage... how many more will be hurt by this religion if we don't stand up and attack their foolishness openly and honestly not just on some web site where folks don't know who we all are. My goodness fellas, the JWs ARE wrong after all and they've destroyed thousands of families. Let's all resolve to stand up to the evil that is and then we may see those fence sitter join us; the journy of a thousand miles starts witht the first step.
The decision to fade or DA is something each person must make base on their own unique situation. No one knows exactly what someone else is going through. We may be in a similar circumstance and can relate and offer advice or our experiences of what we went through but we can't make those decisions for someone else.
I appreciate your point of view but I have to point out something about this statement:
I can understand where you come from but man show some courage...
While I appreciate and admire those who DA themselves, taking a stand that results in complete isolation from former friends and family, I also admire those that stay under the radar so they may use covert means to try to help others see the truth about the "Truth".
It takes courage and strength to remain in contact with those who would condemn them for expressing their true feelings. But they stay in, hoping that one day they can take the oppurtunity to help free their family from clutches of the WTS. It may not be the outward expression of standing up and saying outloud that the WTS is false, but it take no less courage to do what they do. To think that they are not as strong or courageous for not drawing a line in the sand and refusing to cross it is doing them a disservice.
-
Pahpa
Trying to "fade" can be difficult depending the on concern of family members and the zeal of the local elders. I know of many cases where the family initiated the calls of the elders to "help" the weak one. Even if one moves to a different area, family members can notify the elders of the nearest congregation. But it is probably easier to "fade" in a new area as one can use the excuse that he is busy trying to establish himself in a new job, new home and new surroundings. He can hint that he will start attending once he has settled in. However, the elders will probably periodically check in especially if the family expects a response from those elders.