Do I sound bitter?.....(email to mom)

by *jeremiah* 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

compound complex

Greetings Jeremiah,
No wonder the saying 'never discuss religion or politics.' As already stated about JWs, theirs' is a conditioned response. No matter how politely or sincerely a question is posed, it provokes disapproval as it is 'matter out of place.' In WT Land, there is no tolerance for mavericks nor any mechanism for understanding one's personal motives. Such individuals emanate danger. [thoughts from an article on millenarian belief systems and how they pose difficulties for modern families (source forgotten)]
More on the source of cult thinking, whose presentation is often intelligently and logically proffered, such as I inferred from your mother's response: The ultimate desire of an intelligent cult is to combine absolute authority and infallibility with the power to learn from false prophecies and bad dealings; the Mother organization wants absolute authority AT ALL TIMES. [www.reexamine.org/wtobserver]
Only God can remove the scales from the eyes; your approach is that of giving a response for the hope within you, but doing so with mildness and deep respect.
Your friend,
CoCo
compound complex

BTTT
*jeremiah*

Thanks everyone for your insight and comments. Her is my mom's last and probably final reply:
I would love to have a relationship with you! But you are the one that made the choice, knowing in advance what the consequences would be. So you made the choice not us. You could have just stopped going to meetings.
Love, Mom
....and my reply:
Mom,

I appreciate your correspondence with me.
You could have just stopped going to meetings.
I really don't understand the difference anymore. I mean,...if I chose to believe something different than the Watchtower Society and just stopped going to meetings,...if I remember correctly, I would be considered "bad association" or even an apostate. If I was currently in that particular situation would you be able to have a real relationship with me?

Maybe you could,...I don't know,...but if you did there would be a chance that you may be looked down upon or even counseled on your relationship with me.
So really, I don't see much difference in disassociation or just stopping meeting attendance.

At the time, the elders were wanting to disfellowship me,...and the reason why I decided to disassociate myself was because I didn't want to be kicked out,...but I wanted the right to withdraw my membership because I know longer agreed with the food that the Governing Body had been distributing.

I don't agree with every single doctrine that Amy believes,...yet we love each other so much and have a wonderful relationship.
Humans should have the right to disagree and use their minds to form their own opinions about this or that organization without banishment.

I don't agree with a lot of what the government does, but they aren't going to banish me from the country,...or not allow me to use government run programs like the BMV, grants, house buying programs,...etc.

Mom, I know you love me,...but in order for you to show your love I would have to do certain works to gain it. I would have to regularly attend meetings for 6 months to a year without any help in study or answering my questions that came up. I would have to write a letter of repentance to men and then I may be allowed back into to the flock.

Only on those conditions will you be allowed to show your love for me. I'm not angry at you for this or pointing the finger at you. These conditions are mandated by the organization that you believe in and you follow them because you believe they hold the truth.

The interesting thing about the Bible is that,...not only is it God's inspired word,...but it's a gauge to look at ourselves and also look at the organization that we believe in.
Like the Bereans,....they didn't quite except the gospel Paul was preaching until they searched the scriptures and found his words to be true.

I think the scriptures below are words that we all must ask ourselves internally. Do we have this kind of love? Does the organization that I believe in demonstrate this kind of love?

1 Cor. 13
1 If I speak in the tongues [ a ] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge , and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, [ b ] but have not love, I gain nothing.
....love...it keeps no record of wrongs.
8 Love never fails. But,.... where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Therefore,...my offer will always stand. My life will always be open to you. You can enter it at anytime without any conditions.

Love, Jeremiah.
.....so, in the end,...I still haven't recieved an answer to my question.
Ultimately,...that's fine though,...I felt I was supposed to send the original email because, really, I have nothing to lose and I carry the hope which CoCo mentioned,..."Only God can remove the scales from the eyes",...
Gill

JWs always say 'You Sound Bitter!' When you've made a very good point and you've got them by the short and curlies! Just take it as a sign that she knows you're right and now she's trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
Mark '`1' up for your team!
megsmomma

It IS SO TRUE that all of the DUBS sound the same......especially the parents.
Like "You knew when you got baptised as a young person with no life experience that you would one day discover there was so much more to know and possibly deciede that you couldn't swallow the JW bullsh t anymore and then you would get out of the cult and since you had chosen this path all along, you will be cut off from our love......Well, it is your own fault!" Can it get any dumber??
We are all victims of this cult and what it does to families, it is crazy.
bikerchic

Actually Jeremiah from what I read your email sounded very loving and sincere but you've missed the point of who is bitter and allowed her to push her bitterness onto you, in psyc terms it's called projection. Let me show you:
Her reply: I am sure that you have another motive for asking this question, other than you are really wondering. I will answer it, but I will not go back and forth in debate over this, so please do not respond. I don't want to debate with you. Jesus was the Passover Lamb and the memorial replaced the passover and the covenant that the Israelites celebrated on the very day. Many of the things in the past were representative of or pointed forward to the new covenant and the new Lamb. When the Israelites left Egypt many alien residents (non-Israelites) left with them. They were not a part of the Mosaic covenant, but could benefit by aligning themselves to the nation of Israel. They were also under obligation to keep all the laws including celebrating the Passover. (Ex. 12: 14-19) So like them we deeply love and appreciate of what Jesus did for all mankind. We go as observers of that wonderful covenant that Jehovah instituted for the good of all who want to benefit from it. It makes me sad that you are so bitter. Holding grudges and bitterness never is healthy. **I love you and think of you often.** = this is the qualifier, how could you do this to me/us? Putting the guilt on you!
I would love to have a relationship with you! Butyou are the one that made the choice, knowing in advance what the consequences would be. So you made the choice not us. You could have just stopped going to meetings.
Love, Mom
If ever you are wondering if someone is projecting their feelings onto you picture this; when they are pointing their finger at you three are pointing back at themselves.Using "you" statements is a huge tip off too.
Sorry you have to endure this kind of conditional relationship with your family but get clear that she is projecting her bitterness onto you and it's emotional black male at it's finest. It's her baggage don't carry it around, just let it go.
valkyrie

Black Swan,
I think your replies to your mother were *thought-full*, gentle and irreproachable. Good that you left careless tossing of invective and accusation to the one who desperately needs a defence, yet finds none suitable to hand.
-V
*jeremiah*

My latest email after not hearing from her:

Mom, I would like to get back on topic because my question is unanswered.
Jesus was the Passover Lamb and the memorial replaced the passover and the covenant that the Israelites celebrated on the very day. Many of the things in the past were representative of or pointed forward to the new covenant and the new Lamb. When the Israelites left Egypt many alien residents (non-Israelites) left with them. They were not a part of the Mosaic covenant, but could benefit by aligning themselves to the nation of Israel. They were also under obligation to keep all the laws including celebrating the Passover. (Ex. 12: 14-19) So like them we deeply love and appreciate of what Jesus did for all mankind. We go as observers of that wonderful covenant that Jehovah instituted for the good of all who want to benefit from it.
Mom, your description, although accurate, brings up more confusion related to my original question. It seems that you are likening the "alien residents" or non-Israelites to yourself or the "great crowd". So I'm wondering why the non-Israelites partook of the Passover meal, but the "great crowd" doesn't partake of the Memorial emblems? Numbers 9 14 " 'An alien living among you who wants to celebrate the LORD's Passover must do so in accordance with its rules and regulations. You must have the same regulations for the alien and the native-born.' " The Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth, according to many, therefore, is there anything wrong with wanting to know the truth in this matter? If you don't want to answer me, can you point me to a source that has the answer? Thanks Love, Jeremiah
Wow, and she is still responding. This is good because it means that she's atleast reading and even perhaps contemplating. Her response:
We attend out of respect.
unique1

While I appreciate your effort, it is just sad to see that it is of no use. I came to the same conclusion with my parents. No matter if I won the arguement or not, they would just go back to "It has to be the truth because they are the only ones preaching the good news." To which I would reply, "You are not!" and over and over. I just gave up. If they refuse to be reasonable, there is NO way to reason with them. You are in the same boat as the rest of us. I feel for you.
Good Luck and no you don't sound bitter.
*jeremiah*

unique1,
it is just sad to see that it is of no use.
Yes,...I agree,...but my view is changing....
I haven't had a relationship with half of my family in,...going on 15 years. When I first left,...I was gung ho about enlightening them to the deception of the WTS. Of course it backfired and I quickly gave up. Therefore I haven't communicated with them on "spiritual matters" since I first left.
I've recently come to the realization that I have nothing to lose by sending them emails about "spiritual matters". They can't cut me off more than they already have.
So I've decided that I'm going to send them biblical questions regarding their doctrine on a regular basis. I'm not really expecting replies.
Right now, I'm out of site out of mind, but If I show up in their email inbox once a week,...then that might atleast stir up some emotion even if they don't read the content.
....so it may be of no use,...but it also may eventually have an impact.
Since I have nothing to lose,...my hope has increased by doing something rather than nothing. I've done nothing for too long.

Do I sound bitter?.....(email to mom)

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