Why did they not try to 'Save' me? (page 3)

moshe

It's better to just shoot a lame horse- after all the effort is put in to fixing the brother's problems, he is still just a cripple- shoot him and be done with it and move on the a new one- That is the attitude I saw.

hillbilly

I found that moving several times I didnt get much "love". If I'd stayed in my Hometown Congregation I'd be pestered all the time.

When in South Florida the halls were big enough to hide in plain veiw... no one gave a rats ass cause I didnt know anyone there.

I never went (but I know some locals) in this town... so I am outta sight, outta mind with this bunch.

I asked a elder once why we didnt invest much time in holding our members..he gave me a blank looks . AK, they really dont know how to save anyone. The few conversations I had on the way out gave me no compelling reasons to stay.

~Hill

OnTheWayOut

Willy said:

When they are confronted with someone they always viewed as "strong," they are unsettled. Why? Because they already
know why you aren't doing what you're "supposed" to be doing. And they don't want to go there.

Tuesday added:

I don't know if it's fear or that they just don't want to hear anything anti-orginization. They feel they could get in trouble for even hearing it.

Some know their own doubts and know they can't counsel you. I know in my case, I gave them so many clear problems
with changing doctrine and articles saying to obey the slave without questions. I piled on after the CO didn't want to offer
any real help. I think I put the elders far enough into the "unsettled" category that they didn't want to shake their own faith.

Also, the fear that they feel is not just for themselves. They feel they could get in trouble for hearing it, and NOT disfellowshipping
the one who started it. If they counsel the JW who is trying to leave, then report what happened, they would be pressured to
have a JC. By giving token or virtually no counsel, they can say there's no reaching that person, and that they didn't hear any
blatant apostasy from him.

I believe in my case, they know they can't counsel a veteran elder to come back, so anything they offer would push me away.
I believe they hope I just stay quiet and they don't want to disfellowship me. Their specific reasons could be their own way of
showing love, others might think it's laziness. I don't think the latter. I think that they hope to retain a fringe member who will
come around to reactivating himself much later, or at least, that I won't totally leave Jehovah.

Every individual elder or body would have their way of doing things. It seems the vast majority are in fear of apostacy, some for
their own doubts. Others decide that anyone questioning the great Governing Body is evil, and that troublemaker should be
removed. I'm sure that there are a great number here who were helped by their elders, but because the elders are captives to
a concept that wrong about the WTS, we don't offer much favorable light on any help received. Still, it does seem like a minority.

MinisterAmos

If you've been in for more than a year and have at least average intelligence, you have probably memorized already everything that they can possibly use to "save" you.

There's no real depth, it's all repetition. I started hi-lighting passages read in the KH, and after a year I found that I wasn't really doing any more writing, seriously. Better and easier for them to keep plugging away looking for new blood than trying to convince disillusioned members using the same tired tactics.

OnTheWayOut

If you've been in for more than a year and have at least average intelligence, you have probably memorized already everything that they can possibly use to "save" you.
There's no real depth, it's all repetition.

Let me offer the counsel.

1. Brother AK, if you would just come to all 5 weekly meetings, your spirituality will be built up strong again.
2. Brother AK, if you just follow the presentations in Our Kingdom Ministry, and get out for some time every month,
you will find that spreading the Good News causes Jehovah's spirit to come upon you, and you will be blessed in your
efforts, and you will help people, and then you will know that you are doing the correct thing.
3.If we just wait on Jehovah, without a questioning attitude, He will clear things up. In the meantime, we cooperate with
the channel he is using.
4. Sure you are depressed. It's Satan's world. We weren't meant to [lose people in death; have poor health; be
imperfect; argue; live in divided households; go thru divorce; suffer such persecution.]

Could you just pull something out of the above statements for any circumstances? Almost.
There really isn't any other counsel that adds up to much. They can read some isolated scriptures or WT articles to
go along with such counsel, but that's about it.

dedpoet

When I resigned as a ministerial servant and told the elders I was having a few doubts, they did try and "readjust my thinking", in their words, a couple of times while I was still attending meetings, and offerred to come and study with me, but I turned down the opportunity.

After I walked out of the kh for the last time in November 1999, they called a few times in early 2000, but left me alone after that, till they hunted me down again in July 2005, to see how I felt about going back. I told them that I no longer believed in any of their bullshit, and wrote a letter of disassociation a week or so after their visit.

They didn't make much of an effort to win me back really, not that I'd have gone back if they had.

reneeisorym

I'll tell you what really really hurt me.
I was doubting but I so badly wanted it to be true (to keep my family). I talked to several elders and family members about my doubts.

I was discussing my doubts about their theology and my uncle said, "These are really elementary things we are talking about here. If you can't understand these things, it sounds to me like you need to have a Bible study again." Now I have an IQ in the top 10%. I gratuated at the top of my class. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person who has ever walked the earth but I am saying that I am a LOT smarter than him!!

Then I talked to an elder who I have always considered to be the smartest one. I asked him questions and he said, "Its like this. Either you believe what the society says or you do not. If you do not, you are an apostate and will be distroyed at armageddon." Oh yeah, that really helped....

Gordy

It was the total lack of love, support and help at a time I needed it. Finding out about the Watchtower teachings etc, was a consequence of that lack of love.

I have often said if one of the so called "shepherds" had said "OK we'll help you and your family get through this. Get you back on your feet and strong again."

No, instead it was get me removed from my home and family, send me to another congregation, were I was ignored. From then to when I DA'd a period of 5 years I received 3 "shepherding visits" and they didn't even touch on helping me. In the two years I stopped going to meetings and DA'd there was no call or visit from any Elder.

As is said above ... They go on about doing a "saving work" and are concerning about saving people.

But if you are a JW and need "saving" forget it.

daystar

"Its like this. Either you believe what the society says or you do not. If you do not, you are an apostate and will be distroyed at armageddon."

Translation: "It's like this. Either you suspend your critical mind and choose to believe this fantasyland of cards the WBTS has built, or you don't and we relegate you to the most evil group of miscreants we could come up with. Apostates, free thinkers, people with a higher degree of honesty and integrity than us."

I really don't understand guys like that one. He probably didn't really believe it all either. How he remained in his position in spite of that, shows a great weakness of character.

forsharry

Let's see...my father was dfed...and my entire family was shunned. My mother got fed up and DA'ed herself cause she felt that it wasn't a loving organization. I kept going for another year, switching congregations, thinking that I would get the 'love and acceptance' that was gone since my father and mother were quitted in the congregation i had been in for years. HA! The PO hated me for some reason...just out and out dislike...looking back, he probably knew the skinny on the whole thing with my family and figured I would turn out the same way.

There is a point to this, i swear! Basically I saw and was my personal experience that they just don't have the want to bother with people that are slipping...I guess it's a matter of statistics...it's easier to ensnare unsuspecting people versus trying to readjust slipping blinders.

Why did they not try to 'Save' me?

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