Getting nervous

by FourMs 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • FourMs
    FourMs

    I feel like I need to spill my feelings. After lurking on the site, I realize my story is like many here. The reason I am feeling nervous is that I have not broken the news to my parents yet about my “inactivity” as well as my “standing” as to what I think about this whole thing. I wrote them a letter a few months ago and told them that I was slowing down “truthwise” and told them that I hoped that they did not think any less of me. That’s all I had told them and after a couple of phone calls and chatting on msn with our web cams, they came to the conclusion that I was having a depression. Very funny, but not true. I had been going to meetings for about 4 years with my two small kids alone because my husband was smarter than me and left the org soon after my last baby was born. I found it not too difficult for the first little while, but as time went on, and after a move out of the country, I began to find it really hard to make it to mtgs, service and whatnot. After feeling terribly guilty for not fulfilling my duties to the org, I started to realize that I didn’t have to push myself. I was stressing out for nothing. I started to listen, finally, to what my husband has been telling me all this time. I stopped mtgs altogether in January and had not been in service since May 2006. Once I made my mind up to stop, I instantly felt so much better. The last 3 months have been so stress free that I feel like I have a new lease on life. I am reconnecting with my sister whom I have not spoken to in over 14 years! She disassociated herself and moved very far away. As everyone knows, we were not allowed to contact her. Now that I am 32 years old and thinking for myself for the first time, I made a point to track her down. I know her and I have a long way to go as I am sure she is hurt after being abandoned after all this time by 6 other family members. I also have a brother whom I plan to find also. He was disfellowshipped and I have not spoken to him for 6 years. I hate what the organization has made us into. Where’s the love? This is not love when you push family members away when they most need you.

    I have so much more to say, but I’ll keep this post short. Just felt like getting it off my chest. As much as I feel good about my decisions as of late, I am still a little nervous to tell my parents the whole truth. I did not go to memorial for the first time. My parents don’t know that yet. I assume I will not tell them everything , as I am sure that will get me in trouble with my local elders here. They have been at my door about every other day. I’m sure they are just trying to corner me, but I don’t want to play their game. I don’t think they have the right to df me as I am not a threat to anyone and have done no wrongdoing. As far as my parents go, there is always that little nagging in my head that tells me I am disappointing them. It’s weird and hard to explain, but don’t you always feel like you want to please your parents? I know I do, but I know that thinking for myself will get me further in life and give my kids a better life too.

    Anyways, hope this wasn’t too boring for y’all. I know I always enjoy what I am reading here. I can relate to so much. Thanks for all the great posts and encouragement.

  • Mystla
    Mystla
    don’t you always feel like you want to please your parents

    Yes!! and it drives me nuts!! It would be so much easier if I could just tell mom flat out how I feel about JW's.. but I can't.

    Welcome to JWD!!

    Misty

  • EnlightenedMind
    EnlightenedMind

    Welcome!

    You'll find lots of encouragement here. We look forward to hearing more from you.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    FourMs....

    WELCOME, and keep us posted on your siblings.....

    GOOD FOR YOU and many positive thoughts sent your way!!!!!!

    r.

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence

    Welcome! I enjoyed your post most througouly. It reminded me of my life as well. Keep posting!!!

    WAC of the "THE WT can kiss my plastic a$$ class"

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    ((((((((((((FourMs))))))))))))

    Congrats on thinking for yourself. Doesn't it feel nice to rejoin the land of the living? I hope you and your family have a wonderful time.

  • FourMs
    FourMs

    Just came back to my computer and read y'alls comments. Thanks for the great "welcome". I look forward to making new friends here...

    Have a great night...

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Hi 4ms, and welcome! I left the borg at age 14 and the first thing I learned was that pleasing parents or siblings has to be discarded if one wants to rid themselves of the guilt tripping and coersion. Family are the most effective in emotional sabotage as they will always see you as a person to be influenced. Funny, that's using a power for negative purposes instead of positive ones. I hope you can find the words and strategies to keep them from shunning you, but then the elders will want to make you pay for what they see as a rejection. Likely as not they will df in spite! God bless. carmel

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Welcome FourMs,

    Don't you just hate the way they break up families. It has been over twelve years since we could have a family meal all together. My children are grown and some are Witnesses and some are not. I love them all, but it just gets really old not being able to have them all over with their families at the same time.

    Glad to hear you are reconnecting with your siblings. I don't think the ones who have been shunned hold a grudge as much as deep emotional scars. I hope you can all be happy together as you reconnect. Who knows, your parents might start thinking about the "truth" when they find all their children have left.

    Sincerely, Choosing Life

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    I know that thinking for myself will get me further in life and give my kids a better life too.

    Thats so true especially if your parents are JWS.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit