Would I be df’d if…?

by FourMs 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  FourMs

  Well, let me fill you in on a few things first. I have stopped all JW activity since a few months and as mentioned in other posts, I am being stalked by every elder and car group looking to stretch their service time. When they come I just ignore them by not answering the door (or the phone when they call).

  Today they came (for the 3rd time in 3 days) and when I went outside a few hours later my neighbor was out front of his house and after some small talk, he informed me that I had some dressed up people come to my door. I told him that I knew they were there and that I was ignoring them on purpose. He said he had seen them before and wondered why they keep coming by. I told him briefly that I used to be a JW and now that I am not anymore, they won’t leave me alone. He told me several times that he would tell them the next time they come that I don’t want them to come anymore.

  So, I am asking if you think that a message like that to the elders, that is coming from someone else, would get me df’d? My neighbor was very serious and said that he would come across the street and get rid of them for me. I am friends with his wife but barley ever talk to him, so I thought it was awfully nice of him to offer his services.

  But, as we all know, in doing this it could be detrimental to my status. As of right now, my family doesn’t really know what’s going on with me, just that I have missed mtgs and memorial.

  Obviously ths is open to all, but curious if any ex-elders have opinions on this one?

  Thx
  FourMs
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  Arthur

  They may be calling so often because they are worried. When someone abrubtly stops attending, they may think that you have some sort of crisis. Is there a particular reason why you don't want to see them? It might make is easier if you allow them to visit with you once.

  Just tell them that you have been busy with work, etc. It is often more effective to do a slow fade out than to abrubtly quit talking to the elders. If you kindly placate them; telling them that you have been sick, busy, etc, it will pacify them to where their visits will become less and less frequent.
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  garybuss

  In my experience the surest way to be ignored by the Witness people is to go to meetings. Of course when I quit the meeting thing I didn't have any elder visits for 9 years. Those were actually not the worst 9 years of my life.
  
  If you want to hide something from a Witness, put it in the Watchtower, if you want to be ignored by Witnesses. go to the Kingdom Hall.
  
  
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  FourMs

  Arthur: An elder here tracked down and called my dad who lives in another country, and got some info from him. My husband has talked to elders on a couple of different occasions when they have come. So for them to keep at me is getting on my nerves…

  I don’t feel like I need to inform them of anything. I have bumped into ones from the hall on numerous occasions as well, so people know that I am alive and well. So, that’s all. I know it must look strange to my neighbors that I can’t seem to tell these ones to leave me alone, but my reason in not talking to the elders is because I don’t want to be cornered. I really don’t believe in the JW stuff anymore, but would like to maintain my relationships with family.

  I know that there is a level of concern when one goes “missing”, but to me, they are more like the police…
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  averyniceguy

  If your neighbor tells any JW that you do not want to be JW anymore, then they might disassociate you from the congregation. Just a thought.
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  OUTLAW

  When they came to my door,I told them not to bother me again.I meant it and they knew it..I was never bothered again,except by my Idiot JW Relatives..I ended up tossing them out too..LOL!!..OUTLAW
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  greendawn

  Why don't tell them that you don't want them to come round so often? As far as I know they can't DF you for this, if they don't have any other valid reason they will stop coming.
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  FourMs

  OUTLAW: Did they ever end up df'ing or da'ing you?

  FourMs
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  Arthur

  I really don’t believe in the JW stuff anymore, but would like to maintain my relationships with family.

  Then, I'm afraid that this may require at least allowing one visit from the elders. You need to give the appearance that you don't have anything to hide. You need to give the appearance that you are just "spiritually weak" - missing meetings because of being busy with other affairs. If you continue to refuse visits, it will continue to indicate that you are trying to hide something.

  I can tell you from personal experience that to maintain JW family relationships while not believing in the JW organization anymore is going to become more and more difficult. It is going to involve a lot of play acting. I can assure you that it will not be a smooth transition. From my own personal experience, I would at least allow one visit from the elders. Just act as if you have been busy. Show that you still believe in it, that you appreciate their concern. As far as the elders "cornering" you, you can usually disarm such a situation if you act "taken aback" or hurt by any suggestions that you are disloyal. If they believe that you are just "spiritually weak" and preocupied with personal affairs, they will more than likely leave you alone.
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  OUTLAW

  FourM`s..I am a (former)Jehovah`s Witness in good standing..I can go back anytime I want and become an Elder..Then I can stick my nose in other peoples affairs and ruin thier lives if I choose.I will become a God!..Lesser beings will bow before me,when they are bent over I can kick them in the ass..LOL!!.....The power is mine.All I have to do is,forget everything the WBT$ taught me while I was there.Jehovah`s Witness`s have given up most of what they believe,since I have been to a Kingdom Hall.If I were to bring that up and make a big deal about it..Then..I would be disfellowshipped..LOL!!...OUTLAW